Three Fast Food Fails

1. Quiznos chick in San Fernando considered me quizzically when I ordered the Black and Blue, a steak and gorgonzola cheese salad. Luckily, her counterpart knew what it was and guided the making of the salad. Phew. Tragedy averted. I hate when I get thwarted on long drives (SoCal-Norcal). Is it discontinued? And nobody rang me? No email. No, "last chance coupon"?

2. I ordered and fell in love with Apple cranberry.. Chicken.. Gorgonzola cheese ... Walnut Salad at Wendy's in Utah. I vowed to eat it whenever there is a Wendy's in sight (on long drives, when fast food is fair game). Not so much, said Wendy's in Newport Beach. And, they do not keep dried craberries and candied walnuts in stock, I guess, cause nobody offered to make me my salad. The manager offered that they are probably "rolling out new menu items". I guess the rolling starts on the east coast? It's a damn tragedy is what that is.

3. McDonalds is now charging for sauce? Butter my butt and call me a biscuit.

Listen. I was all types of on board when they stopped stocking barrels of ketchup packets out in the lobby. Even if it thwarts my camping condiment preparation (KFC has butter packets that go seriously well with mashed potatoes. Couple half and half creamers from a gas station, the liquid kind, and it's out of this world.).
But, I was supportive. Be good, be green, McDonalds, yay. But they have crossed the line.

Mr Snork orders his sad little sandwiches plain - no mayo, no tomato (which I hear got crop-screwed this year) - and with BBQ sauce. Which now costs extra. Seriously? Spring for a giant bottle, McD, and keep it chained to the counter.

I don't even know what they cost, cause we didn't get to that point - I traded in one of my Honey Mustards (as a 10 piece chicken nugget haver, I am rationed 2 sauces, per giant plastic sign) for a BBQ. You'll be relieved to know that half a container of Honey M is enough for 10 McNuggets, although I pluck off 90% of the batter, so it reduces the surface area. But price isn't the issue. It's Mr Snork ordering his sad little vegetable-less chicken sandwhich, on the 6th hour of our drive (when we've run out of word games, gossip, weekend recap, and taking turns googling stuff on our phones) and having to go into this whole "are you sure you want sauce, cause it costs extra" deal.

Ok, so now that I've typed it out may be it doesn't sound like a huge deal, but it's a 12 out of 10 on the annoying scale. Yeah, I want my sauce on his sad little sandwhich. I also want my 10c worth of tomato and .02c worth of Mayo refunded, thanks.

Speaking of stocking up on camping condiments, do you remember when KFC (in addition to the delicious butter packets) had honey packets? They went well with camp tea. Well, I noticed the other day that my chicken in puddle of honey tasted like crap - and - another dream shattered - it turns out the honey is now "Colonel's Honey Sauce". It's mostly High Fructose Corn Crap, with sugar, and more corn syrup, and coloring, that at one point laid next to a jar of honey before getting shipped out. You have made me sad, Colonel. I want the honey back. With little bees on packets and everything.

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I think I will.

If the Future Mr Snork and I decided, spur of the moment, to keep our initial (but unmaterializable for many reasons, like, say, our lack of planning) date of 21.v.10, and, say, ran to the court house on our lunch hour to get a license, and sweet talked our hairdresser, whom we once overheard saying was an officiant, because he's preparing to conduct the marriage ceremony for his best friend in July, into marrying us, despite the fact that he already had friday night plans that did not include our lack of planning, and ran to the beach after work on Friday night, AND if we could also sweet talk a Giraffy into running down to same beach, after work, to take pictures, it would look something like this:

But, you say, where might you get such pretty flowers, running after work to the beach (stopping by to pick up mini-giraffys, since there was no way adult giraffy could make it to two places at once)? 

A thoughtful Giraffy might show up with some.  Pink ribbon, and sweet pea smell.  She must have remembered me sniffing every sweet pea bunch at the Farmers Market on Saturdays and falling all over them. 

If any such thing happened.  Which, of course, is craziness, because we are about to send out invitations for a September wedding.  *shifty eyes*. 


Chandeliers and Trickery and How I'm Always Right

So, while I was milling about the courtyard #3 of the Giant Rummage Sale, waiting for Jesse to come join me in rummaging, I spotted the dusty mini chandelier. 

The guy in charge of courtyard #3 kept offering to 'work with me on prices', and I was simply curious if I could get the dusty chandelier for $5, as opposed to $10. Knowing full well Jesse has an aversion to chandeliers, even the free ones.  Turned out I could have it for $5 so I quickly handed him the money, and when the the future Mr SnorkMaiden f i n a l l y got there, I asked him non chalantly what he thought of that cute little chandelier, over there, on the table (in the 'sold' goods section, but he's not very observant like that).

That's when I, the guy in charge of courtyard #3 and innocent shoppers nearby got an earful.  About how:

- Nobody needs a chandelier
- I certainly don't need a chandelier
- I certainly don't need another chandelier (The first one doesn't count btw, my stepmom gave it to us)
- Am I trying to live on the set of Sanford and Son?
- Am I serious?
- A demand to hear a list of three things that can be taken OUT of the house before this one can be brought in (not even fair, I mean, the lamp takes up one square foot..)
- Where in the world would I hang it.
- And, finally, about how he's about to have to staple furniture to the ceiling to have any kind of walking space (dirty lies) so, there won't be any room for chandeliers anyway (wild exaggerations).

At this point I figured everyone has had enough laughs, so I picked up my chandelier indignantly, informed him it was already paid for, and that he'd have to finish his meltdown at home, thanks.  (To his credit, he resigned quietly, and offered to take it to the truck, probably hoping to 'accidentally' drop it a few times en route)

I washed it, and took it apart, and gave the crystals a Dawn bath.  I started to spray paint it green (bad idea) so, I finished it in black.  White/ivory might have also been cool, but I had green and black on hand, so black it was.  It came out exquisite.  It's missing a few crystals, but in all the sparkle-ness, you can't really tell. 

I could not find a setting on my camera that would take a picture of it, the way the Swarovski Chandelier Place down the street has them in their brochures, sigh.  But it's pretty magical.  Jesse apparently worked through his grief while he was wiring it, and while I was off drinking margaritas with Giraffy, he hung it up for me in our hallway.  Yeep!  On top of that, when I got home he conceded that it wasn't the worst $5 purchase I'd ever made.  Ha!

Would you like to follow me through the 80 million chandelier pictures, that depict 1/10th of its sparkle-ness?   Of course, you do.  Meet my hallway:

And a close up? 

And a different light setting, in case you haven't really fallen over just yet: (Note the sparkly-ness)

It's even pretty when it's not lit up: 

Ok, last one. 

I have a 4g memory card full of these, if anybody needs a myriad chandelier pictures, btw.  I'm also on the market for a cooler camera that can capture sparkling better.  Don't tell Jesse.


Rummage Saling.

Gr.  I can't format this post right at all...

I have previously stayed away from rummage sales, because the word 'rummage' is kind of unattractive as is the mental image it conjures up.  Not that 'dumpstering' is a better word, but my 8 year old sister made it up, so it's cute.  Rummage is not.  Then I read on Moderate Means how she went to one, and even got free stuff, and I'd hate to think there are free things being handed out somewhere without me present.   That just wouldn't be fair. 

Actually, I went to TWO rummage sales (the churches were practically next to each other, and couple blocks from my work) a couple times, because I felt that the future Mr Snork should experience it as well, and there was a half off day the next day.  How can you not?? 

It was terrible.  They had, like 2 halls and 3 courtyards full of stuff.  There was a rack of fur coats ($175-$500).  A rack of them, not just the scraggly one or two.  We live in SoCal, by the way.  I asked the stern volunteer lady where they got their stuff, and was sternly informed it is all donated.  

There was a whole 'designer' clothing and shoes section, in addition to the Hall of Clothes and Courtyard of Shoes.  I saw 12 pairs of skis.  I asked where all this stuff goes when it doesn't sell - seriously - who buys fur coats in SoCal - and was sternly told it is either donated to S-Boutique, or various charities.  Pretty cool.  I picture a fireplace at a children's ministry somewhere with a cozy rabbit fur rug, for children to sit and read books on, courtesy of rummage sale fur coat donations. 

I was slightly obsessed with this $10 chair. The fabric is ugly, probably original.  I don't even like mid century modern stuff (except my awesome chairs) but I like the lines.  And the fact that I could change the cushions to the Alexander Henry fabric I've been dreaming about.  And then I could probably resell it.  On the downside, I have two danish modern tables in garage I'm supposed to be refinishing.  Jesse is getting suspicious over my intent with those.

I know, I already have a wedding dress.

But may be this one could be like an artsy photo project?

Or may be I could use it in case Jesse and I decided to secretly elope before the actual wedding.

Plus, once the wedding is done with, I probably can't keep shopping for wedding dresses, so I may as well, yes?

See how I added a shawl for a belt there? Artsy in progress. $10

I am not sure what this is, but look at the colors! And, they're dancing! It's on a piece of fabric and it's signed. ..Marcot?  My dad really likes tribal stuff, so I thought he'd enjoy it if my mom lets him hang it on a wall. Ha. $2.50

This $5 chandelier deserves a post of its own.   Don't let its dustyness fool you. 

There was also photo/history book about Soviet Union, 3 patterns for 10c each, a $1 ziplock baggy of plastic indians that my dad collects, and a very very soft cashmere blazer for the future Mr Snork.  He looks and feels like a very soft kitten in it, and it pleases me.    

The Things I Didn't Get But Eyeballed Gallery:

I want to hug and hold anything with ball and claw feet.  Literally.  If Ikea started attaching wood ball and claw feet to their fake wood stuff, I'd probably be all over it.  May be if I hadn't drug home a ball and claw alley table that one time..  I could have gotten this one.  (The alley table that I'm supposed to refinish is still utouched in garage.  Sigh)

Another awesome chair to feed my chair obsession. No balls or claws, but almost.  And the flowers.  !!

I wanted this kind of badly, it's got the original tapestry seat under the needlepoint fruit.  Note the tiny ball and claw feet.  And, it's practically a chair, which explains the magnetic pull it had.   When I came back the half off day (that would make $7.50) it was gone.  Jesse did a little dance.  Sigh. So much potential.. 

It's not quite as cool as the Amish Cat I stalked at a San Clemente thrift shop, but it has cool potential.

I also ate a jar of cookies this weekend, and accompanied Giraffy to Farmer's Market, so it wasn't ALL running around, rummaging and taking pictures, just so you know. 


Gateway Fabrics and Misc Salvation Army Weaknesses.

Firstly, and most importantly, Giraffy and I ran/walked our 3 miles yesterday, with a quicker pace. Because we're rockstars.

Prior to that, Future Mr Snork and I dropped into the S-Boutique, having made a 'do not buy anything' pact in the parking lot. Because we must be stopped. Or I must up my Ebay-ing.

It doesn't help that we've made friends there, and my haggling is well received and successful. So, pact and all, for a grand damage total of $16:

- Jesse's green suit jacket. It appears it is unworn, cause that's how Jesse likes them. By Oscar De La Renta. At 6.99, it was the most expensive item. He's not very good at the haggling thing. Sucker.

- Body shop wax/oil melter/sniffy thingy. I used to have one, and it broke, and I have had wax tarts from BlueBonnet Trails for a while now, with no melter. .34c.

- A new roll of white sparkly swirly ribbon. I wrap presents with these and do not enjoy paying $2.49 or $3.99 or whatever. So, I stock up when I can. I'm particular to new rolls though. .34c

- Snakeskin print jersey type fabric. I see a tank top in my future. Or a tube top, scrunched up.

I was torn about this fabric, on one hand it's really bright and obnoxious, and on the other, it's kinda beautiful. I ended up getting it, figuring I'll make a garment bag out of it or something if it overwhelms me. When I got home and looked up Alexander Henry fabrics, I felt a little faint:

I want to wrap myself in

Nay.  I want to wrap myself in it, and upholster all my furniture in it (comes with white and blue backgrounds also).   I don't think my life will be same until I get some. I need to find his stuff on clearance somewhere though, he's not a cheap dude.  He is, however, awesome, and his other fabric is just as exquisite.  I'm hoping someone will dump a load of it into a local S-Boutique, where I can pick it up for $1.50.  It can happen again, right? 

S-Boutique is cheap, but sometimes it leads to expensive habits.  They should put that on their daily sale signs.   Yesterday afternoon I had no idea about bright birds and Alexander Henry, and it would have probably been cheaper to keep it that way. 

Also, and just because they happenned to be behind counter when I checked out, and I'm weak like that - not one, but two clutch purses. Sigh. The Boutique chick practilly threw them at me.

The white Philippe purse has a cool open/close hinged thingy. And I really don't have a white purse yet. I found a red version on Ebay I also kind of want, but can probably do without.

The other one is a brown leather clutch of unknown origin. "ML" on the zipper chain? But soft. And pretty. And also $2.75.   I've been meaning to become the kind of person who changes purses daily, instead of toting around a Giant Soccer Mom Purse of The Month monstrosity everywhere.  (Must fit thermos, camera, snacks, an occasional sandwich, etc..).  Perhaps now is the time?  

Things that I wanted but didn't get (Jesse dug his heels in):

Pine tree candle holders.  With cute tiny little stars.  He's lucky X-mas is far away and I have months and months of scheming.   


Snifters and Centerpieces

Sometime last week, the Salvation Army I stalk by my work turned up a set of 8 of these snifter looking things.

They could be goblets but I like saying snifter. They had Crate and Barrel stickies, but when I searched with Crate and Barrel, this line (handcrafted recycled glass awesomeness) doesn’t have snifters. May be old? May be not Crate and Barrel? They have margarita glasses, tumblers, a pitcher and goblets that match. But no snifters. Well.  They DO have the snifters in a green color:

They call it Summer Drink Glass, but I really do like the word Snifter. Mr Snork's dismay (they are kind of giant for drinking vessels) I brought them home. I bargained a little, because it’s not my fault it wasn’t a Bric-a-Brac sale day, and Jesse was already shaking his head, not as much at the $2.75/ea price tags, as much as at the thought of housing the fishbowls in our cupboards. $14 took them home ($1.75 ea).  Pricy!

My thought was – to use them as centerpiece thingy for the upcoming reception Party. Fill them with pebbles and seashells and float a candle on top? Little bunches of flowers?  Googling "snifter centerpiece" turned up these:

I KNEW I should have gotten the adjacent floating candles that day.  Sigh.  Jesse's vehemently opposed to the idea of live goldfish, tiny frogs, or little mice livening up my 'centerpieces', so I have to dream in confines of his restricted imagination.  Sigh.  Lizards would also be cool.  How often can you dine and watch a tiny lizard twirl in a snifter? Like, once in your lifetime, right? 

I also like the more traditional idea of stuffing them with flowers and/or enjoying margaritas from them meanwhile, before and after the Party. Jesse’s hoping they get taken by guests after the party or accidentally broken. We’re often on different pages like that. 

I wrapped them and set them aside for now, keeping out a couple out to 'practice flower arranging'.  Or lizard taming, if I win that battle.  I have read up onine that you can make the flowers the day before and store in refrigerator, which I have.  Win.   All that's left is a trip to Trader Joe's/Farmer's Market and a set of large scissors to cut the bouquets snifter-short.   

Snifter.  Snifter.  Snifter.  There, I'm done now..


Risky Fashion, Thrift Shop Thwartage and Stalkage

We switched it up this weekend and kept busy mornings with riding and disc golf, so the thrifting frolicking was limited to a couple quick stop at San Clemente's La Tienda Thrift Shop and Garden Grove G-Mart.  Can you say sparkly?

Yeah.  That's right.

I told myself if it was under $3, I'd get it for shock value and to wear for New Years.  EVERY New Year.  And may be for Halloween, when I want to go as the Disco Ball.  It's a Robert Ribkoff cardigan, (he's somebody fancy!) in silver, with silver sequins, all scrunched up.   

And, I'm a little hesitatant to post this, but, how do we feel about shortalls? 

With boots?  And a belt?  Or no belt?  I know, the overwhelming opinion is probably "no shortalls", but it's too late.  $5 got them AND the cardigan, and some unsuspecting public, somewhere, soon is going to be subjected to me wearing shortalls.  Brought to you by Chip and Pepper (Jesse and Google told me they're somebody, so I did a little brand whoring unknowingly).

The side view is decidedly less farmer like.  You know, cause it looks like shorts.  May I'll just scoot up to people sideways when I wear it.  And wear it I will.  I also figure if I can't ever bring myself to leave the house in either the Disco Ball Shirt or the shorticals, I can Ebay them. 

There was also the most amazing vintage cat, wooden, the kind you pull, and it rolls, and the little paws move..  But this little kid had it, and wouldn't give it up.  I heard his mother say he could have anything if he behaved (awesome tactic, BTW, I mean, you're at a thrift shop, you could let your kid clear out the ENTIRE toy shelf and be out $20).  I suggested Jesse go distract his mother while I snuck up on him from behind the dishes rack and snatched the cat, but Jesse reasoned sensibly  (ugh) that it would be frowned up. 

So, I left sulking, but called later -super creepy stalker like - to find out if they sold a wooden cat to a little blond boy -and!- the cat might still be there.  Ha.  May be he didn't behave well enough after all!  Another trip is in order.  In a related story, I am the sort of person who bargains at thrift shops, creeps behind small children, and calls obsessively afterwards stalking a 40 year old wooden toy I have no business buying in the first place.  I know this.  I am working through it. 

Finally, at a Garden Grove G-Mart (My favorite!)  I got seriously thwarted.  As I was trying Jesse to try on a Banana Republic shirt that he thought was hideous and that I thought was a beautiful, attractive, sexy purple, I saw this woman's cart - full of dresses.  New dresses, with tags.  I'm sure they were all my size.  There was one I was a little determined to snatch out of her cart while she was on her phone (it's a theme, I know, I need therapy) but she got off the phone and eyeballed me disapprovingly eyeballing her cart before taking off towards the registers.  Gr.  Seriously, a full cart of Macy's tags.   What is she going to do with all those dresses?  So, of course, by the time I made it to the dress rack, there was nothing there for me.  I'm convinced it was that chick's fault. 

Jesse finally agreed to one of my offerings/picks, a different Banana Republic shirt,

with a lot less (none) purple, so I left him alone to brand whore for random Brooks Brothers blazers and the like, and over by the linens/dishes I found

1.  An old Bavarian plate.  49c.  Love!

2.  A bin of fabrics, By The Bolt, $5.99  O.M.G.

I always read jealously about people making muslin mock ups of their patterns, but I've always been too cheap to buy said muslin.  I mean, even at $1.99/yd - which it wasn't - it adds up.  I now have several kilometers of this stuff.  I can cut out patterns, write on it, modify, cut more, fail, try again, rinse, repeat, like 80,000 times.  I can even try to make my own patterns. 

The second bolt wasn't quite as large, but there's quite a bit of fabric on there - may 15 yards - possibly more - dark red raw silk.  Need I say more.  Can you have too many dresses made out of raw silk?  I don't think so, but I will find out.



Sometimes they start out OK:

And then it all goes wrong.  Like when you use your new (but old)  cast iron pan, but it's not really seasoned, but you think it'll be ok, cause you put some oil on it:

May be if I covered them in enough powdered sugar? 

Nope.  They're pretty messed up. 

And they defiled my 'new vintage' pan:

Not to mention Jesse's laughter and taunting, because the whole reason I wanted the 'old new' pan, was because I claimed it would stick less than my existing Lodge, which has been known to produce perfectly spherical pancakes.  
Take 2, after coating pan in oil head to toe and heating in oven for a few hours.  4 hours at 400'F produced a nice hard coat, not sticky.  Upped the butter content as well.

Ha!!  (Going conservative this time, in case it goes poorly again). 

And a 3/4 turn..

And, spherical pancakes!!

A whole pan of them, even:

Never mind the batter bits, those aren't stuck and will come right off, I got a little ladle happy. 

They are supposed to be coated with powdered sugar, but Jesse has a nasty Orange Crush + Reese's Peanut Butter cups habit he can't seem to break, and he's therefore denied sugar in the house. 

Jesse likes the ones that aren't fully closed, he stuffs them with lingonberry preserves.  I like to inject mine with whipped cream.  They're kind of like pancakes, but lighter, and airy-er.  Success!!!


Shoes & Belts, Mickey and Aebleskivers

It was buried in a big Tupperware bin of belts that I dove into and busied myself with. From Brighton and Disney, crocodile printed, my sized Mickey and Minnie?! In a train!

With Pluto and the Duck, either Donald or Daffy, I’m not good with names. The belt part itself is a little ratty, it's a very tired crocodile.  But how could I not. 

 But I wore it to work today, and it got lots of compliments and managed to stay intact. Win!

There’s a husband/wife leather shop in Laguna Beach I really like (LagunaLeather), I called and inquired about new belts - $40 to make one. So, I guess that could be an option. In a purple crocodile print, yes?

Same bin featured another Brighton belt, looky like brand new, and an older leather Spanish made belt that I just thought looked cool. 3 belts $2.75 each. Normally $3.75, but it WAS a sale day for belts. Ha.

The kitchen department was a bit of a fail, since I own 500 lbs in cast iron, and I really should own a couple pans only, so I can cook on them all the time and keep them seasoned.  (But Jesse thought we might need a chicken fryer, a wok, a brownie pan, and several others.  So, he started it.)

It's a cast iron Griswold aebleskiver pan.  (Don't think it was cooked on, but it ain't rusty either like some Ebay beauties).  I actually have a Lodge one, but the older pans like Griswold were machined smooth back in the day. I guess it’s too expensive to do anymore, and the current cast iron, for the most part is a little grainy. Which typically isn’t a problem, but this is an Aebleskiver pan - they are spherical pancakes that you turn as they cook, so batter pours out and forms a ball. This turning happens with a knitting needle, a skewer, or a chopstick, there are some YouTube videos of it happening.

So, here’s where the smooth surface comes in – if the batter sticks at all to the pan, it won’t turn, the batter won’t pour out, and it becomes a mess.  I've seen it happen:

That middle aebleskiver didn't wanna turn.. :( 

It's a pain in the butt to wash, too.  I'm being a little dramatic, since I've actually made perfectly successful batches of 'skivers on my 'grainy' pan.   And I actually prefer the way it looks.  But, apparently I couldn't walk away from a  $3.75 Griswold.  So, I now  have two aebleskiver pans, and I have a feeling Jesse will make me get rid of one.  There’s a very short section in my address book of people who make Aebleskivers. Extremely short. Non existent, one might say.  May be I'll poach eggs in one of them WHILE I flip aebleskivers in the other. 

Jesse skipped away pretty excited despite a new 10lb kitchen addition, because he found these at a neighboring G-Mart:

They were brand new, $12, and his size. When does that ever happen? He promptly looked them up online, because it’s always exciting to find out how much stuff costs in real life, and feel like you saved some money, and spent some time last night polishing them.  The "after" :

Yes, those are shoes on our dining table.  I guess he was really fond of them.  I was a little jealous, and looked through shoe racks I usually avoid, but no new shoes were waiting to get adopted. I found a cute green Rampage top and called it a day.