I Have, and I Have Not.

As in, have you come here of your own free will,

and

Have you promised yourself to anyone else.

It was beautiful.  

Mr Snork and I would like to make it an annual affair.  Vow renewal same time next year, anyone?

Details to follow.  They're not for the weak and well planning types.

September was the Month of Wedding and Recovery.  October will the Month of Recap.   Had I made June, July and August be the Months of Planning and Preparation, the recovery period might have been shorter.   But that would have been no fun.  No fun at all.

- Mrs SnorkM

I think I will.

If the Future Mr Snork and I decided, spur of the moment, to keep our initial (but unmaterializable for many reasons, like, say, our lack of planning) date of 21.v.10, and, say, ran to the court house on our lunch hour to get a license, and sweet talked our hairdresser, whom we once overheard saying was an officiant, because he's preparing to conduct the marriage ceremony for his best friend in July, into marrying us, despite the fact that he already had friday night plans that did not include our lack of planning, and ran to the beach after work on Friday night, AND if we could also sweet talk a Giraffy into running down to same beach, after work, to take pictures, it would look something like this:

But, you say, where might you get such pretty flowers, running after work to the beach (stopping by to pick up mini-giraffys, since there was no way adult giraffy could make it to two places at once)? 

A thoughtful Giraffy might show up with some.  Pink ribbon, and sweet pea smell.  She must have remembered me sniffing every sweet pea bunch at the Farmers Market on Saturdays and falling all over them. 

If any such thing happened.  Which, of course, is craziness, because we are about to send out invitations for a September wedding.  *shifty eyes*. 

Snifters and Centerpieces

Sometime last week, the Salvation Army I stalk by my work turned up a set of 8 of these snifter looking things.

They could be goblets but I like saying snifter. They had Crate and Barrel stickies, but when I searched with Crate and Barrel, this line (handcrafted recycled glass awesomeness) doesn’t have snifters. May be old? May be not Crate and Barrel? They have margarita glasses, tumblers, a pitcher and goblets that match. But no snifters. Well.  They DO have the snifters in a green color:

They call it Summer Drink Glass, but I really do like the word Snifter. Mr Snork's dismay (they are kind of giant for drinking vessels) I brought them home. I bargained a little, because it’s not my fault it wasn’t a Bric-a-Brac sale day, and Jesse was already shaking his head, not as much at the $2.75/ea price tags, as much as at the thought of housing the fishbowls in our cupboards. $14 took them home ($1.75 ea).  Pricy!

My thought was – to use them as centerpiece thingy for the upcoming reception Party. Fill them with pebbles and seashells and float a candle on top? Little bunches of flowers?  Googling "snifter centerpiece" turned up these:

I KNEW I should have gotten the adjacent floating candles that day.  Sigh.  Jesse's vehemently opposed to the idea of live goldfish, tiny frogs, or little mice livening up my 'centerpieces', so I have to dream in confines of his restricted imagination.  Sigh.  Lizards would also be cool.  How often can you dine and watch a tiny lizard twirl in a snifter? Like, once in your lifetime, right? 

I also like the more traditional idea of stuffing them with flowers and/or enjoying margaritas from them meanwhile, before and after the Party. Jesse’s hoping they get taken by guests after the party or accidentally broken. We’re often on different pages like that. 

I wrapped them and set them aside for now, keeping out a couple out to 'practice flower arranging'.  Or lizard taming, if I win that battle.  I have read up onine that you can make the flowers the day before and store in refrigerator, which I have.  Win.   All that's left is a trip to Trader Joe's/Farmer's Market and a set of large scissors to cut the bouquets snifter-short.   

Snifter.  Snifter.  Snifter.  There, I'm done now..

We're engaged!

Well, it's kinda old news.  We've been knee deep in wedding planning, which consists mostly of trying on dresses in thrift shops.  But, the last couple weekends we talked to a priest, went to a church, and looked around town for a coastal strip to have our 'party' at.  The 'beach reception disaster' will be discussed separately.  I think I have it typed up, but it's a little angry sounding, and probably needs an edit for profanity before going public.  Ha.

Also, I decided that instead of calling and emailing people, I will actually send out invitations.  Mostly because I thought it'd be fun to glue gun tons of glitter to cardstock and write things I consider to be witty.  I'm thinking custom tailored invites, talking about whether or not to bring your children, your liquior limit, topics one is not allowed to discuss at the table, and people one is not to pursue mingling with.  All this in glitter pens, and I'm thinking of recruiting underage help with cutting out appliques and various other merry nonsense. 

As a crowning jewel to these invites, I thought we'd take some pictures (because who doesn't want to see more of us?) and make these picture invites. 
I asked my dad and stepmom to take some pictures of us in some pretty spot in Norcal, where we headed this weekend. 

It must be said, that the main motivator for these pictures is a dress I got at Mainplace Christian Thrift.  It is a David's Bridal awesome chocolate brown bridesmaid gown.  Why I was trying on bridesmaids gowns is not really clear, they must have had a poor wedding dress selection.  Anyway, this dress was $9.  How could you not?  It has pick ups, and everything. 

Jesse offered that it is crazy to buy bridesmaids gowns, and I countered that he ought find a place to take me in one.  Well, since he has so far failed to find me a ball invitation, I came up with the brilliant plan to use to for our "engagement/invitation" photos.  And, since it was $9, I can take it to the beach and not have a heart attack if it gets wet or muddy.   Next up, Jesse was sent out to find an equally brilliant, but disposable if need be pair of slacks and a shirt.  I voted pink, citrus green, or lavender, and he got an off white that he claims is green.  He's adventurous like that.  Ha.

Crocs, check. Rubber ducky under-layer, check. Into the fog we go.

There's a really pretty beach in Pacifica, 10 minutes down the coast from my dad's house.

Few minutes after we got there, we got shooed away most ungracefully by the park rangers.  Tsunami warning all across Pacific.  All beaches closed.  Pack up your crocs and keep moving. 

 

We got some pictures though. I picked this weekend, even though there was a rain forecast. I like the rain and overcast days, and I think they're especially neat along the beaches. Water meets water kind of thing. Unfortunately, earlier today an 8.8 eathquake struck in Chile, hence the tsunami warning. The seas were very rough and angry looking, but also very beautiful.

We headed up to Half Moon Bay, figuring that higher cliff grounds were probably safe. 

 

Some cropping might be required to get rid of the beer bottle in the corner.  Clearly, somebody else also thought this was an awesome party spot.  By the way, it is supposed to be haunted by the Blue Lady of Moss Beach Distillery, whose parking lot we invaded for these photos. 

Also present were my sisters, both of which were a little terrified that somebody they know might see them, but secretly had fun anyway. 

On the way back to the car, we found this Alice in Wonderland type clearing.  It was practically waiting to get frolicked in, even if the children told me the grass was a good indicator of both bugs AND snakes.   Later, we decided the weather was far too crappy for snakes to come out, so that was nice.

The day really wouldn't be complete without finding a tree to climb on, and there it was, conventiently fallen, to avoid any photo inappropriate dress tree scaling.  Practically waiting to be climbed. 

The whole time, the rain would pick up on and off softly.  It could have also been the drops from trees when the breeze came through.  Or possibly squirrel pee?  If the latter, its probably good for the hair. 

 

My dad and my stepmom did such an awesome job, Jesse and I were really excited when we came home and looked through the (over 300) pictures, and we had a lot of fun.  I was going to spend the rest of the day in my awesome dress, but the good news is, since we got kicked off the beach early and proper, it didn't get very muddy or wet.  (If you don't count the rain/squirrel pee).  It's been at least $9 worth of fun, but it's likely to make other appearances.

Speaking of crocs, my stepmom thought we should mail this to their markting department and see if they can work with it:

Anyway, don't ever let your boyfriend tell you don't n e e d a birdesmaids/prom gown. 

The W-party is scheduled for either May 21st, Septemer 10th, or October 15th.  We're narrowing it down, and it's tied with money, my best friend's school schedule and tide times.  (Not because we're superstitious, but because we have a semi-concocted plan for a beach reception, and the proposed location on the beach might not be existent if the tides are not taken into account)  May 21 was my first pick, but that's coming right up, isn't it..

In a completely unrelated story:

It is full moon tonight.  Does it make you sleep funny?  Is it true that staring at it makes you act/think funny? 

Lent Ramblings, and 'Un-Heathening' Jesse

Last weekend, Jesse and I played in LA, among Russian Orthodox churches. I would like to get married in one, but we do not attend one regularly. It was the bishop’s gentle suggestion that we come around on Sunday, to talk about engagements, details, and, you know, pray and do all things church like.


This one was on Micheltorena St, and it was lovely, in a quiet little neighborhood. 

I love the RO church in Chicago, on Lee St. The bishop painted it himself (the murals) and it is old and very neat.  There's also a beautiful, big church in San Fransisco that Jesse and I went to during one of our NorCal trips.  To find a similar, older place, we frolicked about Los Angeles. Orange County offers a few options, which we will have to take up on the weekdays – Jesse was baptized a Baptist, and apparently, the difference is great enough (things like the stance on Original Sin, etc) where an Orthodox church would not marry me and him.  Nickname of the week: heathen.  In its technical sense.    

I don't know what Scientology is all about, but they have an impressive 'church'. Reminiscent of Bellagio.

The Russian church on Fernwood St was just down the street, really beautiful.  Really large inside as well, and it's under construction, partially, so more is to come.

The neighborhood itself was a little rough

We passed a couple of Ukrainian churches as well, all within a few blocks.  The last, and the furthest up north was the one we were looking for, arriving just in time for the Russian service.  (English starts at 8 am.  Plus I like to keep Jesse in the dark about the happenings and surroundings.  Ha.)

If you click on the picture (in case you were interested in Russian church ongoings) on the back left, that is a confession happening. Your head gets covered with a tapestry thingy. I think it's part of the garment, actually. And you get asked yes or no questions about your various alleged sins. A few years back, I was really ashamed with the number of "yes"'s. This was also during the time I worked at the University cafeteria and took home far too many day-end muffins and bread.. Did I steal? Well, yeah.. Year after that I was working at Panera where they gave hungry employee students bread at the end of the day, so, whew.

Speaking of inapproriate behavior.  Right down across the street, by some nice apartments.  Shame on you, Tom. 

Jesse hadn’t frequented the church by himself, and since I would really like to be married in a church, he will read up all about the Orthodox religion, and be baptized. For this purpose, he will be seeing Father Martin in a near by church in Orange County. Right now he’s been reading up on it, and shamefully, he now knows more than I do. May be its kind of like I know more technical details about the English language, since I learned it second? On his part, he finds it fascinating, so, WIN.

(Can you spot a Tsar in this icon?)

It is an old religion (Catholicism split from it in 1300’s, I think. I wouldn’t quote me in a Wikipedia article or anything..) with old traditions, and where some religions have branched off and have made modifications to fit modern life better (is rock music really a sin? ), the RO stands its ground. The church is standing room only, the liturgy is in Slavonic (a dead language), with an English early morning option in Los Angeles, women must wear dresses or skirts, and cover their heads.

I was actually baptized twice. In the former Soviet Union, it was forbidden, but religion is such an integral part of people’s lives, that both my sets of grandparents had baptized me, and the other didn’t know. Once in Ukraine, a priest was invited and a secret ceremony was, in a basement. And the other in Kazan, Russia, in a small church. People could lose their jobs and get in trouble for that sort of thing, so it was a great secret.

It is Lent currently, and we are not to eat meat, dairy, or foods with oil. Shamefully, I have thus far failed in all those categories. Today, it was KFC for lunch. I will try again tomorrow morning, and also keeping in mind, that it is not only about food limitations, or particular foods, but limitation in general of that and other things. Skipping meat, but instead eating a truckload of rice is not really what fasting is about. The church can not marry you until Easter, because merriment of that sort is not appropriate during this time. It’s a good time to think about being kind, having a gentler temper, and other areas of life I can work on. That temper thing is rough. While I had bologna for lunch yesterday, I thought about and didn’t have cake after dinner. KFC chicken is a fail, for sure, but hopefully I can pick up the slack elsewhere. That Ebay bridesmaids dress I bought that isn’t *really* in “great” condition. Not at all, actually. But should I complain too much about a $10 dress?.. Stuff like that.

On a side note, after the service, the yard, there is a $9 buffet.  For $3 you can get a bucket of borsch, and for $6 more there are all types of awesome things, like whole fried fish, potatoes, etc.  Next time, I'm all over that place.

An $8.99 Wedding Dress?

So, this is how it started. I got engaged, and thought it might be fun to stroll around Craigslist (in multiple locations) and offer people a fraction of what they are asking for a used wedding dress (and not exceeding a $100). I found that given my [granted, not lucrative] offers, most people are hanging on to the dresses.

It’s not that I don’t think some dresses are worth a lot more. I’m inclined to believe they all are, especially the beady ones. But I don’t want to pay more, so my offers are more of a.. 'I’ll take it from you for $this much, but I understand if you really want to get a certain amount of money for it'. *gasp* they usually do want to get a certain amount. Shocking.  Although, I have only sent out offers to two people, so it’s not a fair market sample, I guess.

I am estimating that the number of dresses being thrown up on craigslist is larger than the number of people looking for one. I am making that up, of course, but it makes sense to me, even though my ‘market research’ goes against that, and I just can not understand why I am not being showered with $50 dresses.  

I frequent thrift shops for random things, or even just to stare.  It's excellent for retail therapy as well as a spectator sport.  If you find you've gone overboard, you're still probably only $10 in the hole.  About a month ago, at Newport Beach Goodwill I saw a two piece wedding dress. It was horribly dirty, tangled up, and featuring a tiny bustier with giantly padded cups. Very little beading, if at all. Yawn. I tried it on and made a face for a picture.

Few weeks later, in another trip to a different shop, I spotted the Beady 80’s Dress. I wanted it, to cut short, or may be made into a tube top. Jesse was horrified that I had put it on, and we left dress-less. Later I decided I MUST have it (reinforced by positive blog comments), if for the beads and Swarovsky crystals alone, went back and it was gone. GONE! Who else but me would purchase a 30 year old wedding dress?! Clearly these people must exist. It was $99, with a half off offer.

Since the beady fiasco, I would regularly check out the fancy end of the dress rack, looking for more beady spectacular-ness. I never came close, but I DID come across some respectable wedding gowns. Usually between $30-$150 dollars. I noted mentally, that if I ever needed to get married quick like, a decent dress can be had. I was sort of hunting for a Cinderella Dress Giraffy and I spotted at David’s Bridal. I searched for the gown V9539, and failing to find it for under $300, I just looked around for similar dresses – beady top, beady bottom, skirt pick-ups.

At a shop by my work, there (still) hangs a really pretty sparkly Demetrios (?) dress. It is a size too small, and comes up above my ankles. If it weren’t for that, I would have had it. No pick ups, but beads were super sparkly. I’m an easy, festive creature. That day, it occurred to me, that really pretty dresses can be had at thrift shops.  It came with the cleaner's tag, a shawl, and a detachable train.  Did I mention sparkly?

But, short.  And small.  And tight.  I looked a little like 2 days fresh out of a boob job. 

This last weekend, on our way from the mountains I saw that Beautiful, But Too Large gown. It was perfect. Beady top, check, beady bottom, check, pick ups, thrown in as well. It was also half off $99. It would no longer be low maintenance if I had to take it to a seamstress, so I let it go. (Well, Jesse dragged me away).  I took pictures to document the search, but Picasa is telling me stuff it or upgrade my storage, so, pictures will have to wait till I address that.

Meanwhile, Tesday, at a shop by work, I found this:

It has no pick ups, and it’s decidedly UN Cinderella like. But it had these bunches of sparkles along the boob area, and a tiny little train, and it was $19.99. The very original, Dirty Padded Two Piece is still there, and sporting a $29.99 tag. (but I’m sure the staff can be talked down..)

I wanted it to dye purple and make into a short dress (the usual..) but Jesse thought it would make a beautiful beach dress. And since I want to drag a dress all over the world to take pictures, this might be a perfect dress for it. It passed the armpit check (super clean) and the bottom check (not a smudge). I don’t think it was worn. It fit me perfectly (even with yoga pants underneath), and is a size 6 Galina dress from David’s Bridal. It looks like they still carry it.  ---------------------->

The 19.99 tag wouldn’t scan into the system, and I smiled the most seductive smile you can manage at a thrift shop clerk when you're checking out with a wedding dress and your fiance next to you, and suggested to the cashier, may be it’s a sign of a half off dress? ( I have NO shame, really). He, in return, told me he will just sell it to me as a regular dress.  o.o


I was reminded of the time Thrift Store Mama got teary eyed in a Value Village over a severely marked down Doll House. A wedding dress? For $8.99? I think I will.  Naturally, I dragged it home.. 

I am still on the look out for the Cinderella dress, but I'm really expecting one to fall in my lap for about $10.  It might take a while. 

What do you think?  And - what was your coolest find ever? (If thrift shops make you feel faint, Craigslist, Ebay, and clearance retail purchases qualify)

Snow and More Dumpstered Wedding Dresses (Weekend Recap)

Jesse and I went to Big Bear to play in the snow with giraffy and her anklebiters.  I looked on Craigslist for a sled - you know, a wooden bench atop two metal blades, but apparently I am behind the times.  My suggestion to cut out cardboard, put it in trashbags, zip tie the ends and call it a sled was vetoed in favor of some plastic discs. I guess they were OK, but what happenned to creativity?  I sigh at Jesse's softness and cushy upbringing..

The plastic discs did Ok, though, and fun was had. 

Giraffy and I sitting in one coffin shaped plastic bucket was a fail.

Jesse and I sitting on two discs, tethered, sort of (via my legs) was a win.

There was a snowball fight, and I was pretty appalled at giraffy's husband - using Baby as his shield.  I also got Jesse to pull over at a suitable snowbank to climb over and wander over to the lake. 

I only got a couple inches off shore, while Jesse painted an elabrote picture of my probable and impending death - apparently, I was to break the ice, slip under it, get carried away with current under the ice, and never find my way out. All in about 3" of standing water.

 
 
According to him, you can't even ice fish unless there is a 4-6 feet layer of ice present.  There are some fisherman in Siberia that would like to have a talk with him.  Whole villages would perish in winter if he was in charge of letting people out to fish, waiting for an appropriate Ice Age layer of ice.  The fish would probably perish as well, out of anticipation and boredom.  And possibly laughter.

Does this dude look like he's sitting on 6 feet of ice? 

A random fun fact - the fishing is better the crappier the ice.  Air bubbles attract the sleepy winter fish.  There are also some scary statistics about specifically Russian fisherman never making it back to shore,..  but we're not going to talk about that.  But, I mean, really..  Do those cork screws in the picture look like they drill FEET of ice?

I didn't think so.  Ha. 

On the way back, we stopped at an Antique shop in Fawnskin.  It was lovely. 

I brifly debated over some sparkly snowflake earrings.

And this chandelier "piece"

My mom got me a tea cup from this line for $1.  They had it for $24.  Muahaha. 

And heading back to Orange County I mapped us some thrift shops.  Because that's how we roll. 
One of the reasons I LOVE SoCal - you can spend all morning sledding and playing with snowballs, and then drive back to palm trees and sunshine.  And thrift shops where amazing wedding dresses awaited.

I loved this one. It was an Alfred Angelo gown, ivory, with super pretty beading around the middle,

and a train that picked up in the back. 

It was $99, and half off.  They even have a 7 day return policy, but it was just too big.  Probably a size 12 or 14.  If you're 12 or 14, and getting married, I urge you to visit Redlands Goodwill shop.

The kind lady behind me also loved the dress.  She also told me I could borrow her boobs, if need be, to fill out said dress.  And there was a story about her grandmother, and boobs in a shopping cart, and shopping with said shopping cart as back pain therapy.  Finally, she told me I should consider the dress, because she bought one for $900, and it is still hanging in her closet, as her daughter's fiancee is serving a lengthy sentence.  Whew.

I didn't get it, because I wasn't sure that I could have it altered that many sizes, and Redlands is a long way to drive to return a dress.  There were others, but not nearly as cool.  I think I have a new 'cool' standard for thrift shop wedding dresses.

Another lady (not pictures) suggested a shop in San Diego that has a "wedding dress" row.  I bookmarked it mentally, and will definately plan a trip.  It's amazing how much more relaxed their 'trying on' atmosphere is than David's Bridal.

There also heaps of older dresses, with lace sleeves, high necks, and long lace trains.  It's kind of sad to see them hang there, since hardly anyone opts for that anymore.  Still they were beautiful, and super cheap. 

My mother was in the process of checking a Craigslist listing on a dress for me.  There is a certain Cinderella dress that I'm stalking, more than others.  But, I find any dress with pick ups and a bucket of beads is super appealing.  Anyway, my dad caught wind of this affair, and told my mother he will buy me any dress I want, new.  He is so sweet.  Up until that conversation I was secretely planning to run away and have a two person wedding somewhere tropical.  But I can't be running out on my dad who is knee deep in being the sweetest person ever.

Having said that, a full retail price wedding dress is a 1000 times worse than a $10 popcorn in the movies, and I wouldn't enoy any overpriced bit of it. I'm just genetically programmed to be cheap like that. Plus, there's a thrill in the hunt, which is why David's Bridal's $99 dresses won't do. (Although I loved the entire line up) And, there's the fact that I intend to drag this dress all over Utah rocks, motorcycles, and a few of the prettier beaches I can find to take pictures. I'm thinking, one rocky, one sandy. By the time I am done with it, Goodwill won't want it for scraps. Lastly, while there are vast options out there for dresses, flights to cool places are generally and constantly pricey, and I really love going cool places.  For secret weddings or otherwise...