Saggy Couch Cushion Clinic.

It has the most ridiculous stuffing structure ever - microfiber covers, stuffed with popcorn like bits of wadding.  May be at one time it was a glorious one piece wadding, in shape of the cushion..  But, as it was, if I wanted to wash the cushion, I had to empty out it's contents into a giant trash bags getting it all over the house in the process.

And then there was the sag.  Since the cushion resembled loosely a potato sack, they lost their shape way before you ever leaned back on them.  And got worse from there.

We tried overstuffing them to cure the problem, and ended up with giant vienna sausages of cushions that ricocheted you across the room if you sat down too enthusiastically.   And no couch room for your butt.  Both not good things.   I set out to make some internal cushions, to hopefully hold the stuffing in a more rectangular shape, with the motto "it can't possibly make it worse".  May be at least smooth it out, so it doesn't look like I store vegetables in them.

Mr Snork inspected a lone couch cushion we found at Salvation Army and informed me we needed baffle channels in the internal cushions.    It would also help if we had 4 giant trash bags of premium down as opposed to JoAnn's grade stuffing, but sometimes finer things, like, say, AG dolls, or down of any grade are just out of my reach.   Still, their stuffing is better than a giant piece of foam, cut to shape (my back up plan), so I crossed my fingers and sewed the cushions out of double layers of some muslin I have about 200 yards of around.

There's a glimpse of the last remaining sad cushion, and two 'fixed cushions beside it'.  I am pretty pleased with the final outcome.  See how even the back of couch is showing?  It was really disgraceful.

The homemade cushions in background  seem to retain their cushion shape, lean back against the couch appropriately, and generally behave in a way a good cushion might.

I made the internal cushions 3" longer than that microfiber cover, that seems to fill them out nicely, following the Salvation Army cushion measurements.  I have no idea how channels are regularly sewn, so I made the top seam, on the wrong side, made the 3 channels, 7" each, and the remaining seams on the cushions are sewn on the outside.  The top seam makes the top of the cushion round, as opposed to boxy, and that way molds into whatever top seams the cushion cover has.  This is how the commercial cushion was made, so I copied it.
 
I was a little in love with the serger for finishing the outside seams.  I don't know that it's necessary for the inside cushion, what with it never seeing the light of day, ever, but it pleased me anyway.  I left one side machine basted closed, in case I want to get in there and add/take away/readjust stuffing.

The original cushions were 41" by 22" by an unspecified width, may be 4".. (shapeless, and all)   My inserts were cut at 43" x 21.5 x 6.5, with half inch seam allowances on all sides.  Since the top seam is traditional "turn inside out" type, to lay flat at tops of cushions and not show, I added 3.25" on each side of the cushion to the top, plus seam allowance, to make room for the ~6.5 width.  The channels are 6.5" each, cut at 7.5".  (I serged these too, for fear they'd unravel indignantly at the weight of the crap I was making them hold, and I'd be back where I started.  In retrospect, probably not a valid concern.    The insert looks a lot bigger than covered cushions, but I think it needs to be to fill it out right.  

After I had already measured out and cut my cushion parts, I read on an upholstery message board somewhere, that they make their channels wider than the cushion, so they don't 'pull in'.  But the same people also fill them with down and wrap them with down, so they are clearly overachievers.

Mr Snork went over with nicer bits of batting over the cushion, to smooth it out.  It took a lot less lumpy stuffing to full these cushions, then it did to fill the cushion cover originally.    I still have 3 giant trashbags of lumpy stuffing that I can't seem to part with.  There's GOTTA be something else I can sew.  Backrest pillow? Body pillow..  Floor pillow?  There must be something, and it will occur to me the second I throw away all the batting, I just know it.   If all else fails, I can spread it around the Xmas tree, snow-like, and drive Mr Snork mad for a couple weeks.  So, if you're local and need a lot of poor quality wadding..  do let me know.

I am pretty pleased with the outcome.   And with the fact that no additional funds had to be added to the couch's original cost.  (Even my serger thread was a yard sale box find)  Although, for a Pottery Barn look (ha) I would probably use some nice, stiff duck canvas.  I think the channels would show less, and the lumpy factor in the stuffing wouldn't matter at all.  But then we get into that whole, 'buy a $90 Craigslist couch, spend $200 'working on it' phenomenon, and anyway, at the rate I sew, there's no way I'll ever use up the 8 football fields of muslin I once got at Goodwill for $5, unless I implement it every chance I get.

 

It's been about two weeks between this project and the time it took me to post this, and I am happy to report the couch cushions are behaving very nicely.  I also occured to me I have a bolt of thick curtain interlining, that I could 'wrap' the inside cushions with to get rid of any left over lumpyness, but I'm a little too lazy for revisions like that.  

Obsession Du Jour - Dolls, (and getting them for freeee.)

Also known as obsession #478567.

I have a bit of an obsessive compulsive personality.  When I was little I thought the world would come crashing down if I stepped on a crack between cement tiles, and it made for very long travel times to the playground.  So, it could be worse, I could be compulsively licking lamp posts and other random objects, and instead I cultivate the obsessive side of my personality. 

I'm on the fence, between thinking it's creepy and unseemly for a woman my age, but then I think of all the old ladies who collect dolls, who,granted, I think are creepy, and it seems alright that I just want one little doll, mostly to practice my tiny doll sewing for.  

Not just any dolls.  What I wanted was a Magic Attic doll.  Partially because I stumbled upon my little sister's American Girls catalogue, and Mr Snork informed me we could afford nothing in there.  (Not even the stuffed raccoon that comes in a tiny tin trash can, for $40, to accompany the $300 camping trailer with a fold down bed).  

And partially because after that I decided their dolls are dumb anyway.  They all look the same.  Poo on you, $95 doll with no personality and funny looking thighs.  I don't care that you come with a book.  Your outfits cost more than mine, and it's just not good for my self esteem.

My stepmother had dug out a no name but pretty doll for $3 at Goodwill, and long, methodical Saturday morning Google image search of every doll image available (on the worldwide web) turned out it is Megan, of the Magic Attic Club.  An obsession was sparked.

This is my sister's Megan.  (My sister is 11, so only one of us is creepy).

A quick Craigslist search turned up a couple Megan's in New York and Ohio, and a couple of her sisters a little closer to to home, but not quite.  I also stalked Ebay, but it's hard to shell out $40 for a doll when my stepmother paid $3.  It's not good for my psyche.  AND, I'm almost 30, so my dolls would really need to be free, so I can tell people it was an accident.

"I don't know how I ended up with that.. I bought a car, and it was rolling around in the back seat..."

Fast forward to this last weekend, when a doll surfaced in Oceanside.  After some mild haggling, for $20.  With 'extras'.  Extras, is doll speak for all the doll crap that should naturally come WITH the doll,  because there's no other use for it, but instead, people will charge you $10-$30 per outfit, shoe, and anything that doll's ever touched and that originally probably came in the box with her.  Not that I'm bitter. 

But this Oceanside lady was very reasonable, and for $20, she set a trash bag of doll, and all her worldly belongings on her porch with an empty envelope for payment.  Like every good Craigslist transaction should be. 

Meet Alison:

I found that Mr Snork gets really creeped out when he finds the doll staring at him, so naturally, I've spent larger portion of the weekend staging the doll off to his side, or behind him, with an inquisitively tilted head aimed right at him.  When he's watching football..washing dishes...stripping some furniture..googling Ebay rates for doll sales...  

And, speaking of Ebay, ridiculously priced doll accessories, and American Girl phenomenon.  Couple blocks down after we picked up the doll trashbag, was an estate sale, where I picked up a pink doll trunk, and a shoe box filled with doll crap.  Mr Snork almost stopped talking to me, in a "are you seriously going to fill our house with doll shit in your old age" kind of way, but I was too busy mourning a doll bed someone swiped right from under me to pay him any attention.

Last night, I put some doll stuff on Ebay.  3 people have excersized the Buy it Now Option, and as of last night, Alison was officially free and paid for.   The doll trunk and the shoe box of doll crap, also paid for.   Couple other items have bids.   I have a feeling our gas and lunch expenses that day will be paid for shortly as well.  And, I have more doll crap to list.   Woot.

Apparently, I arrived at the sale too late for a doll bed, and possibly a doll (I'm assuming there was one), but just in time for shoe box of "extras".   It appears that AG 'extras' not only sell at stupid prices, but after they become discontinued and replaced by more ridiculous extras, they become "retired" and even more sought after.  Score.

Needless to say, Mr Snork is talking to me again.   Now I gotta go ship some stuff.

I Made a New Friend

And she made me this picture.  I think the inspiration came from this cartoon man guy, whose name I forget.  But whose books I picked up at a yard sale in Pacifica this summer.  Clearly, it was meant to be. 

:D

Its been a while.

I am trying a new diet of sorts..  It's temporary, and will undo itself shortly..  But, meanwhile I have no energy to sew, garage sale, or even, *gasp* do a sweep by the G-Mart on the way home from work.

I'm feeling better this week though, and fortified by a nice dinner of chicken livers last night (plain, fried with salt, while Mr Snork hid in the other end of the house, pinching his nose), I think it's sew time. 

I wonder if I can pull it off before Halloween:

 I also like these two:

I wonder how speedy I can be.. 

I Have, and I Have Not.

As in, have you come here of your own free will,

and

Have you promised yourself to anyone else.

It was beautiful.  

Mr Snork and I would like to make it an annual affair.  Vow renewal same time next year, anyone?

Details to follow.  They're not for the weak and well planning types.

September was the Month of Wedding and Recovery.  October will the Month of Recap.   Had I made June, July and August be the Months of Planning and Preparation, the recovery period might have been shorter.   But that would have been no fun.  No fun at all.

- Mrs SnorkM

The Blue Elephant (Singer 338)

I picked her up, with manual and all extra parts at a yard sale for $8.  I was looking for a Singer 185, and asking everyone if they were selling an old sewing machine.  While Mr Snork rolled his eyes, and mumbled that if they were selling a machine, it would be on their lawn.

Naturally, as he was mumbling something to this effect at a sale in Pacifica few weeks back, the lady ran back into the house, talking about indeed having an old machine or two.  Her son/cashier, confided in me that it was the 'ugly blue/green from way back', and I probably wouldn't want it, as the Mr groaned.  "If it's ugly, she'll want it even more.  FML"

It turned out to be a Singer 338, complete with a plastic blue carrying case.  It's giant, very heavy, and generally elephant- like.  I stayed behind and petted its beautiful pastel blue enamel paint, lest someone think it's not taken as Mr Snork left to the ATM.   Not having any cash is usually a foolproof way not to buy stuff, but every once in a while, when I start petting inanimate objects, he just turns around and comes back with some money.  It's almost telepathic, and really, really endearing.  I wish I could pay him back in kind, but he just never gets excited about a screwdriver or a saw at a yard sale like that.   

Good thing I stayed, too, because two other ladies were hawk eyeing my new baby like crazy, and one asked if she could pet it also.  True story. 

The 338s were only made for a couple years, in the early 60's.  It uses cams for decorative stitches, and can even do double needle stitching.  Pretty fancy.  (I wonder if ever there arises a need for decorative stitches.)

I didn't need another machine, and I still want the 185.  But - for $8 - how do you walk away?? 

It's my very first "portable" machine, and I promptly unfolded it all at my dad's house, and imagined myself a travelling seamstress.  I mean.  It might be a little over a flight baggage allowance on most airlines, but it's such a pretty blue color.. 

It fired right up, the light and everything, and went to stitching like new.  All very, very pleasing. 

And, to crown the last yard sale of the day, while the Mr was off banking, there were these sterling earings in an old sewing box.  First I hunted down a matching pair..  and then I added them to the tab.  Total at check out: $8.25.  Win.

3 miles of treadmill on the screen

3 miles of treadmill.
You run one barely
Crawl the other two
..
3 more miles of treadmill on the screen.

Well, if we were to do 6 miles like we planned, in prepapration for the Turkey Trot 10k. (Warrior Dash has made me ambitious and delusional at once.). Its a nifty combo.

Instead, I messed with tension on Blue Elephant, ate half a loaf of bread, invented excuses, announced I was sleepy,..

And by the time Mr Snork delivered us to the gym at 10:30 pm it was a miracle I didn't stumble off at 2 mile mark, saying unladylike things.

Then I remembered the half a loaf of bread. Dammit.
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I Want Puppy

I get to borrow Henry from one of our customers a few times a week. He naps in my lap while I ignore everything work related.

It's a pretty good system. Sometimes we read emails and take walks around waiting room together. And pose for pictures a lot.

After he leaves I have to remind myself for the millionth time that
I spend about 1 weekend a month at home,
some airlines now charge full tickets for puppies,
puppies do not like being stuck in my two bedroom apartment full of sewing machines 9-6, every day
Small puppies like Henry might object being left at camp as bear bait

Insert giant theatric sigh.
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Barbara Jean's Pretty Pink Quilt

Saturday was Pacifica's annual city wide summer sweep charity organized garage sale day.  We happened to be in Pacifica.  WIN!

It is noteworthy that, unlike Southern Californians who like to start at 6 am and other disturbing hours, non of these started befroe 8, and there were only a couple of those.  Mr Snork and I (OK, I) were overly zealous with our 7 am start.  So, we had breakfast, and he gave me a quick pep talk about how we don't need a n y thing.   Hours of fun ensued, all within a few mile radius and an ocean background.

  There was even an episode involving llamas.    LLAMAS.  (they weren't for sale)

It was the home stretch, Mr Snork could see our house (well, my dad’s), and smell the chicken sandwich and a nap.. But there were two more garage sales on the block between him and the house. The first had a camp stove that we considered, but then decided we didn’t want to pay $10 for, because we might actually want a fancier one, with dual fuel options and a middle burner. This is important, we cook a lot while camping.


The last one had a sewing machine, but a plastic one, so I wasn’t interested, a giant old paper cutter that briefly intrigued me until I drew a mental parallel between it and old French guillotines. It even had a wooden platform. I decided to hold out till a newer one, with a sliding blade falls into my lap.

And, The Quilt. I picked it up, and the stern grandmotherly lady was quick to say it’s got a hole in it, her dog got to it. This was true, there was a hole. But there was also some pretty rose shaped top stitching. And it was pink. She couldn't remember if her mom or grandmother made it, then settled on an aunt called Barbara Jean.  I looked around some more, getting the most out of my last sale of the day, found nothing, and came back to the quilt. Jesse wimpered something about ending his life if he didn’t get a sandwich right then.

I asked the lady what she wanted for the quilt, and in the background, I heard the sound of Jesse melting down.  She said, “The one with the big HOLE in it”? as if she didn't have it there for sale, and I was shopping her purse for her personal effects.  Since she had no other quilts, torn or otherwise, I said yes, and traced one of the stitched roses with my finger. (Jesse maintains that she didn’t have it out there for sale at all, it was accidentally brought out with the laundry and if she did, it was c l e a r l y meant to line a dog kennel. Which only made it worse, because, c l e a r l y, the quilt needed to be saved.)

“You want to FIX it!”, the lady said with the inflection one might say, “You’re want to PEE on it!”. And, “you are a sewer” that sounded a lot like, “You smell like eggs”.  Followed by some muttering about me petting the quilt lovingly.  She also said I could have it for a buck – coincidentally, the exact amount, to the last quarter, left in Mr Snork’s pockets, who, by the way, behaved atrociously, suggested I inspect the quilt for dog poop, and asked the lady if she was also selling rope. (The quilt didn’t smell funny. It was freshly washed, and smelled like lavender Tide. My favorite.)

And, anyway, it proved my point that she WAS selling it. If she wasn’t, I’d gotten it for free. Even though I’m not really a sewer, I just like to pretend - after careful examination, its been determined only 4 squares can’t be salvaged, and will have to be replaced – I can swing that.

In Mr Snork’s defense, I had, just earlier gotten a quilt, with no holes, and a matching pillow sham, for $2. But we won’t talk about that.  I also have a bit of an obession with "saving" things from their current environment, particularly, if they are under $3.  And, a slight disconnect between the number of projects I take on and the amount of time I dedicate to them.  But, look at the stitching! -

I mean, what do dogs know about pretty rose stitching?

Vogue 8556 Part II

The bra cup idea was actually Mr Snorks, as I was prowling JoAnn's, looking for things I might need, and things I would never need but that are on clearance, therefore impossible to walk past without at least considering. 

I hadn't even considered if the back of the dress is high enough for a normal strapless bra.  I could get away without, but I like the bra cup shape and looking like I'm the sort of person who wear a bra.
Then it turned out it takes half hour to pin a cup into some lining.  Who knew.  After 8 failed trial and error episodes, where I pinned cups to lining, ran to the mirror, found out they sit 2" below my boobs, rinse repeat with varying (all unsuccessful) results,  the idea bulb finally went off.  I put on the front piece backwards, placed the bra cups on top of what is the lining in a way I thought was flattering (debatable), traced the outline with chalk, and then pinned the cups to lining before crossing my fingers and  sewing them on.  Temporarily placing a peach inside to keep the fabric curved the way I needed it.  For some reason 'more flattering' included flipping the cups upside down from the package illustration.  

I used the thin, foam cups.  Next time JoAnn's is sending out their 50% off coupons, I'm buying out the whole shelf of them and sewing them into e v e r y t h i n g.

I'm a fan. 

In an unrelated story, this fabric would make an awesome swimsuit.  I hope to have enough remnants left over to fashion something like that.  Or panties.  How awesome is it to have a dress and MATCHING panties.  Some ruffles and a quick flower headband out of the same remnants and I could totally dress myself like a 3 year old.

Vogue 8556 Part I

I'm super excited about this pattern, so I thought I'd try it, even though I should *really* be undoing and redoing my curtains with blackout fluff.  (They are currently unattractively see-through).  But, there's a pretty back strap involved, and I got sucked in.

First draft of the chest piece required a lot more boob than is available, so I read a few tutorials on Small Bust Adjustments.

I really liked someone called Gertie doing a tissue pinching thing, and coming up with a beautifully fitted bust.  I considered it, cause she made it look so good.  Then I remembered I suck, and if I pinned my tissues together and onto me, they would end up shredded before I could find my pencil, and I would be reduced to a pissed off, TP'd version of me, looking to go buy a new pattern (no longer on $3.99 sale, no doubt)

We'll call it the ghetto SBA.  I clipped, snipped, and overlapped with abandon, shortened the neckline, and the second draft was more pleasing.  It appears I also have to move the pleats two inches to the outside, either because the new pattern piece, or my shape. Original pleats are no good.  I also hacked away a half inch at the widest, in an arc in the middle to make more of a V shape. 

This doesn't include everything I did, but it looks like I know what's up with drawing fancy lines and overlapping stuff, so I'm posting it. 

Then there's interpreting the illustration on the pattern envelope as it relates to bodice length.  It appears it extends over the hips.  But when I extend 3 layers of fabric, one of them gathered, from my boobs to my hips, I lose my waist entirely and start feeling like a hippo.

I shortened the bodice piece a little, and that seemed to help a tiny bit.

Or not?  I need to start drafting muslins in a more flattering black.  In a related story, I am NOT a Vogue size 14. 

Doesn't look good for 16 either, if I ever wanna sit.  Measuring fail.  Check out the back strap situation though?! 

In a related story, I was pretty excited to find an actual model picture on Vogue site. The cartoon drawings are awesome, but then I get really discouraged when what I come up with just doesn't look the same and cause I'm not 6'3".  They ought hire someone else to do pattern caricatures.  I want to see 30" bust and 40" hips on the envelope, thanks, Vogue. 

And, finally, the two fabrics I have with enough yardage:

I'm thinking Door #2.  The red is shiny, and I don't know that I can handle shiny and slippery just yet. 

YEEP!  The project goes on.

Vogue 8552, Sack-ness, and Cute-ness.

Affectionately known as The Sack.

I think it could be super cute, on someone with lesser hips than mine. I was in love with the pockets, and overall sack-ness of it, but, turns out when I wear a sack – not SPECTACUAR. My mom would say that it's good for selling potatoes at Moscow's Central Market.  The cartoon chick on the envelope pattern does it better. Certainly not because she’s drawn on a scale of 5’11’’ height and a 10” waist.

The other problem is that inevitably, I am drawn to colours, and sparkles, and big bunches of pink. It’s like I think I might expire out of boredom, if I used a sensible, solid fabric. But, I think this dress would do well in a solid fabric, may be with some contrast topstitching, to bring out the pockets. That way they might not look like a flowery extension of my butt.

However, I made it, so I LOVE it.

Not to mention, it was my birthday, and for the Most Thoughtful, Cute Gift EVER, Mr Snork got me these:

Tell me you didn’t just fall over, overwhelmed by the adorableness. I feel overwhelmed just typing about it.  My very own labels.  I feel very Gaultier-like. 

Some other developments for this dress:

I figured out how to use an ancient “Buttonholer”.

I'm not even sure how it works, it all happens so fast.  I think it just maniacally rattles the machine, which in turn sews a buttonhole out of sheer terror.  That's what it seems like, anyway.  Although it’s entirely a crapshoot on whether it’ll make a buttonhole or chew up and spit out your fabric mangled – I bravely made a buttonhole (attempt 2). Complete with tiny, cute, glass rose buttons courtesy of JoAnn’s. I also spent a half hour with my seam ripper on ButtonHOLE Attempt 1, but I don’t like to talk about it. I will say, that is a LOT of stitches in a small area. A bit of an FML moment. But, it can’t be blamed – It came with the sewing machine I got at a garage with a receipt from the 60’s.  It’s a wonder it didn’t just crackle and fall apart. 

I decided to forgo the zipper, mostly because I wanted to use a buttonholer, and I put in two small darts in the front, under the bust. The ruffles on top translated into a ‘belly pouch” area that I found unattractive and in need of being eliminated.   It's a little evident in photo below, but its after I put in on, having eaten a loaf of bread with olive oil that it really thrives and stands out.. It would make a fantastic Maternity Sack.

The best part came in after I washed it, for the first time ever, because I forgot to preshrink.  It’s now a much shorter sack. Luckily, I kept shaving off the armholes, until I had taken off nearly an inch, because it seemed I either have behemoth arms, (I don’t) or they were cut for wrists. I worried that an inch made them too ‘gapey’. Not to worry though, the shrink job took them right back up. Speaking of armholes, I thought those sleeves would look stupid and flappy, but they’re flappy and CUTE!

Pooping Predators, and The Case of the Sad Mint Plant.

So, I bought this mint plant at farmers market, because I like mint in my tea.  I always get the $1 bunch, which lasts me a week or two, but I had visions of a giant mint bush, like my father has outside his house in NorCal.  At tea time, the children go pluck some leaves, and, voila!  Either a nice minty tea, or some mozarella/lemon/mint plate. 

Anyway, back to my plant.  So, I happily plucked some leaves on days one and two, but then it went downhill.  It got sickly.  Figuring it was too young a plant for leaf plucking, I thought I'd leave it be for a while. 

It kept getting sicklier.  Something was eating the leaves (and not me, the person who paid $5 for it!).  We moved it inside.  We watered it.  We tried sun.  We tried no sun.  Mysterious black clumps littered the leaves..  Like, bug poop.

Sad Mint Plant With Mysterious Illness:

Finally, Mr Snork warned me to stay away from it, cause he'd spray it with some bug murder spray.  It was either going to die, or recover, but otherwise, something else was gonna finish it off and poop on the remaining bald stalks.   :(

Last night, we laid in bed and wandered if whatever was eating it is nocturnal and springs up from the ground.  Cause we haven't seen anything, and there are only, like, 7 stalks to keep track of.  Severely balding stalks.  We considered sneaking up on the mint plant, to see if IT has emerged. 

But the we fell asleep, before we had a chance to ambush the plant eater. 

This morning, I went to see the (even balder) mint plant, to see if it needed water, or something, and noticed that the bug poop is now obscene.  Something has shat on my plant, shamelessly, and the leaf is weighted down by the clumps.  Whatever it is, it's getting bigger.  The shit clumps are now bigger than an ant, so it rules out ants, those tiny green bugs, or, really, anything tiny. 

(Note the half eaten leaf).  And, then, THEN, either because IT moved, or my gaze was shifted by the audible CHEWING, I SAW IT.   (Right above the poop)

Perhaps a closer look, the way it appeared in person:

I almost fainted.

Look at the size of that thing's eyeball!!!!  Check out the spiky, (probably poisonous) Freaky Hairs.  And it's stupid, clever coloring.  It could be cast in a Harry Potter sequel.  Look at how it's shamelessly eating, even as it's being discovered and camera flashes are going off like mad in its face.   It didn't even stop to consider me.

Fighting my instinct to call Mr Snork (at work, for an hour now), and scream, "OMG THERE"S A CATERPILLAR IN THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!! COME NOW" (tragically, his work arrangements are not such that he can come and go, to heroically fight rodent-bugs at the house.  Dammit.) I circled the living room in panic a few times, thinking about waking up one of the neighbors. 

I got some paper towels, to grab the THING, but then I thought the hairs might puncture the paper towel, AS it turned around and bit me.  I swear it LOOKED at me, threateningly, and anyway, I do not like being bitten or slithered upon, let alone, with something surely poisonous. 

I considered Windex, cause it does a number on ants.  But this thing lived through a hard core bug spray and came through just fine, downright famished, and pretty regular in its bowel movements.  I consdered taking the entire plant outside, until Mr got home, but at the rate THING ate and shat, not much might be left in 8 hours. 

Finally, I held the mint plant with biggest tweezers I could find, wishing I could maneuver well with BBQ tongs and carefully snipped the stem with my best sewing scissors, carrying the infested stalk to the trash, wimpering, all the while.  I kept an eye on it, while I washed the dishes, cause it looked like something that would slither out and straight across my kitchen to reclaim its pot.  Then, I'd have to leave the house, and admit defeat.  Fortunatelly, it seemed unbothered, and ate the rest of the mint stalk happily, eyeballing me, no doubt, with contempt.  All the way until I took it downstairs to the trash.  Where it's probably kicking ass as we speak.

Stupid slithery hairy side eyeing worm bugs.