The Nesting Mode is a Terrible Thing

When you have ADD. 

We got back from our late honeymoon, and the long stay at the hotel has inspired me.

 .. To throw away everything I own.   There's something about living in an empty hotel room, out of a bag with 3 dresses (and 9 bathing suits) that was really, really appealing.   This seemed really simple until I got home and remembered I really *like* all the crap I have.  But, my God.. there's so much stuff.  

So far I have simply resorted to randomly throw away various pieces of clothing as I fold laundry.  I have to be quick about it, because if they linger in a plastic 'donate' bag by the door too long, I eventually talk myself into keeping it for refashioning, using the fabric for something else.. a dusting rag..  etc.   I think what the problem *really* is, is that I do not have a walk in closet.  Clearly.

The kitchen also got hit, and I managed to toss all the ratty old spatulas, and the 5 sets of measuring cup sets.  As well as 800 packets of soy sauce.  Then I thought, what if we go camping, spur of the moment, and make rice.. and I'll have no soy sauce?!  And then I thought that's exactly how I end up with 800 packets of soy sauce, and that if I served it with rice while camping, Mr Snork would refuse to eat it anyway, citing health concerns, FDA guidelines, and average life expectancy of people who scavenge for food at the bottooms of their kitchen drawers. 

I did, however, keep the 200 ketchup packets, because parting with two perfectly edible things at once might seriously scar my psyche. 

I have also stripped down the living room curtains, and made Mr Snork put up a traverse rod we've had for ages, and am now working on making the sheers into austrian shades, of sort.  I was pretty sure getting the rod hanging was the major obstacle, but it's now been 4 curtain-less days, and an unreasonable sunny/hot living room.  Oops.

I am waiting for the mail ordered sheer austrian tape.   Had I known the sheer type can only be gotten online, Mr Snork might have gotten an extension.   Something tells me it's going to be a disaster.  Horizontal gathers just seem wrong.  I mean, I found some really good pictures online, but my sheers are looking at me with a smug smirk that tells me they will not go down easily.  It's not just their attidude, either.  I used some opaque white tape JoAnn Fabric carries for the edges, and the sheers curved in mutinously.  Something tells me that adding 5-6 more segments is not going to improve the situation.   Good thing I got a load of drapery weights at a yard sale for a nickel.  Fingers crossed.

In addition this, I'm re-making the curtains to add heading tape, pleats, hooks, etc.  This requires piecing panels together, by hand;  so, mostly, I've been staring at a giant pile of curtain.  I have a sore back that's not conducive to hours of hand sewing.  I'm contemplating Stitch-Witchery, or some other iron on adhesive.   Horrifying as it may be, it might be the only way these curtains will go up before Strawberry gets here.

Speaking of whom, I have to paint her room.  Green, with bubbles?  Or flowers?  And, may be a monkey.  Might have to stencil the monkey..   She's also going to need curtains.  I'm waiting for Mr Snork to rip out the carpet and put down flooring in that room.  He's seriously lagging on his nesting syndrome, because I sense no sense of urgency about him whatsoever.  Although, he is remarkably good at humoring me, so there's that.  Had I said today I need that room painted purple, hire an artist to paint a castle, and need him to get into the walls to wire some lights into said castle, I swear, he wouldn't bat an eyelash.  He'd pretend to look up castle painting artists adn their credentials and lay low, waiting for the nightmare to pass.

AND, in a truly exciting development, I think I have tracked down the T-Mobile dress reincarnation.  What do you think:

And, this, from McCall (#6029) with a fluffiier skirt:

Well, it's close enough.  It's closer than the other 'reincarnation' I procured on Ebay:

 Might have to make both.  After the curtains.  And room painting.  And shady sheers.  And a quilt I am making...  (true story).  And, of course, the wedding thank you cards.  (Insert very ashamed smiley face)

And, only, like, 6 weeks to go till Strawberry!  (Who is no longer breech, after 9 days of 4-hour-a-day snorkeling schedule). 

Surprise Garage Sale WIN

I'm behind on bloggying, because I've been wrestling 90 yards of velvet into some curtains every night after work, but this last weekend...

June was gonna be a “Thrift Free” month, because I can’t help myself. I guess it’s not THAT bad,  I could instead have a nasty Starbucks habit, like certain significant others..  So, if I walk out S-Boutique $4-5 later with a dress, teacup, pair of shoes, whatever – it’s not the end of the world, right? Except the Starbucks disappears into Mr Snork’s scary metabolism, and my dress pile (to make something out of) has grown considerably.


Anyway, this Saturday, Mr Snork woke me up at 6:30, for a surprise, which had me in a pretty sour mood.  He's been talking about it since Thursday night and it sounded shady.  There aren’t very many things I am receptive to that early. So, he stuffed me in the vehicle, with my mood improving tea thermos, and went off driving to me muttering “probably somewhere ridiculous”. He was positively giddy, and I was a little worried he secretly signed me up for another 5k. But then, he pulled up and unleashed me onto this driveway.. where sewing stuff was e v e r y w h e r e.   I may have squealed a little.

Mr Snork found what looked like the mother of all crafty sales on CL, and has planned to deliver me there right at 7 am on the dot.  (God forbid someone else walks away with my stuff).  It was a little amazing, and the woman hosting the sale was the most energetic, chatty garage sale haver EVER. At first it was annoying, but then it became contagious. She was selling stuff like the guy a the farmers’ market sells bundt cakes. Loudly, and with conviction. Do I need a sewing machine? How about some ribbon? How about tassels? Do I know how to use tassels? Well, if I did, I would want them for sure. Thread? Oh, I got thread? Take MORE thread! How about a snap maker? Look at this pillow!! On and on and on.

In a stroke of luck (yet again) she had a Giant Curtain Rod. This thing is meant for a place much grander than my two bedroom, it’s like a sideways palm tree, skinned. But, it just so happens, my mother gave me the most ridiculous set of curtains – something like 20 yards of 54” fabric, sewn together into one, 108” by 20 yard piece of velvet football field awesomeness. In the 1500’s, they’d make the royal tents in the field of battle out of this stuff. And it’s been sitting, all 190 lbs of it, in my closet, because the type of rod that would hold them up does NOT sell at Ross for $6.99. (I love Ross rods).

$1 Curtain Rod. I am now knee deep in sewing curtains. And then duvet covers. And table runners. And chair covers. More curtains. Who knows.

$3 Bolt of green raw silk. It’s SO pretty. The pictures really fail here.   $1 bolt of stripey green/purple silk. $1 bolt of quilt interfacing/curtain interlining stuff (Not pictured, but it's giant and brand new, in plastic).

A Trash Bag o’Thread. $1. Mostly new rolls, serger thread even, despite the fact that serger hunt has been unsuccessful, I'm preparing.  Some spray adhesive. Some snap tape for duvet covers. Some more silk (brown, dupioni).

A $1 shelf, already hung by the door, with some teacup hooks to accommodate keys. Mr Snork really took initiative on that, because every morning he hunts the house for my keys, which I leave various places the night before. On one occasion he’s found them in the fridge.   I don't care for the green color, but I guess it goes well with the dolphin theme (to be found nowhere else in my home) untill I strip and stain it. 

Mr Snork also really liked the curtain hold back things. Especially after he was told they came from a sister’s old house in Ohio. 50c. Did you know you can use them to HANG curtains? I saw pictures in a magazine. It’s true.   Mostly over triangle shaped windows, but that might not stop me..

At some point, I looked up to see the Mr holding three bolts of fabric, a giant curtain rod, and various odds and ends, just hanging out, looking at book titles. The garage saler’s neighbor shared that her husband would rather die than be there, and I felt extra lucky. And a little guilty, I don’t know if I could be that good if he decided to, say, take me to 8 auto parts shops in one day. I might snap by #2, and offer we order whatever we need online..

I offered repeatedly that he set the stuff down in a corner, and frolick freely, but he told me later, he was being stalked for the curtain rod and possibly some other loot, and setting it down didn’t seem safe, and he’d hate to see me get violent in a driveway..   Ahhh, love. 

AND, the best part of this sale is that the hostess and I exchanged phone numbers, because, apparently, if ever I need more stuff (like a fabric cutting board), there's a good chance she has it (turns out she did).  Squeal!!!

Off With the Blinds

I hate blinds. I really do. They are not soft, and they flap in the wind most ungracefully, they get tangled up and snap off, and leave me with 8 foot strips of plastic that I'm too lazy to take down to garage, afraid to throw away (can I ever find one in same colour to get my deposit back?), and don't want to store in the living room. I also object to the sound they make, the whole pulley mechanism offends me, and the fact that you can't discreetly spy on the courtyard, not that I ever would. Or have. Cause that's creepy.

One of my ongoing life projects is to replace all blinds wherever I'm at with curtains. Sometimes I get a little over zealous and replace closet doors with curtains as well, but this isn't good for the garage (storing the doors) or the not-Ikea-meets-old-Russian-lady look I'm trying hard not to project. Anyway, my mother got me some fabulous curtains at a garage sale ($20!) and they went in our bedroom. They are a silky red chiffon type stuff, backed with lining, and what I later learned is called an interlining, or, "awesome soft inside stuff that blocks out light". It also has some insulating properties, I learned later, so garage sale curtains kept getting cooler.

My grandma brought me some brilliant fabric from Ukraine. Think green, gold, bits of flowers and leopard print. 59" wide, 10 meters or so. I had enough for two panels and some throw pillows, or three panels, with a wide band of some other fabric attached. I couldn't figure out how to gracefully hang 3 panels on a window, that wouldn't look ..stupid? So, even though I violated every home design website advice of "twice the window width for proper fullness" I opted for the two panels and throw pillows. Good thing too, because no matter how much I eyeball and measure, I inevitably come up 5" or some other critical amount short.

Luckily, in the case of two panel this only meant that the rod pockets aren't as wide as I'd have liked, and the bottom hem isn't 4" like I read it ought be, unless I "fake it". Right now, 5 full evenings of blood, sweat, and tears, and living room furniture all moved around so I can have floor space to scrawl around 10 meters of fabric.. later I have them hanging up. The bottom hem is basted. The top is done, save the brown banding I need to add. There's even a good chance they are the same length. They aren't "twice the window width" full, but I told myself (and Jesse) that they'll be mostly open, so we can pleased with their appearance 80% of the time.

I wanted the awesome, Pottery Barn catalogue, Extra Length On The Floor look. But I think it was lost on the tye dye brown shag carpeting. So, until we firmly decide we dont' need our deposit back, and rip out said carpet for some nice cheap wood floors, I took up the curtains. I may take them up more, still.

I even added the lining and interlining. Hanging alone, the drapes let in too much light, and looked sad:

Interlining was a patchwork of bits, since it came in a too narrow width of 55", I had to use it width-wise. (is that a word?) And having sewn it all up, the next day, when the sun came up, and shone through the layers, I realized that the seams aren't hidden, but instead form a distinct shadow pattern on the curtain that spells out, "clueless ". It was also too short. Note for future reference: always run interlining to the bottom. Or close to. In as few pieces as possible.

Luckily, Jesse saw an impending nervous breakdown and took charge of taking seams out (3 times!) for me to go again. May be if I made use of things like, ..basting. And not, like, holding a ruler at bottom, and eyeballing a straight line, and imagining all four layers have maigcally lined up perfectly straight as I stitch them together. (3 times). Interlining came from JoAnn's, and went on sale to 2.99/yd promptly after I bought it, so I dispatched Jesse to get a price adjustment. I LOVE this country. Price adjustments! Who would have dreamed?

Lining was going to be JoAnn's but got beat out by Ikea's Lenda Curtain:

For 19.99 they already had the side hems, (that I had to unstich, to fold interlining into and stitch back up), and that pre folded, factory - likely -to -be -straighter -than -anything -the -irnong -board -and -I come -up -with -line, made me very happy. I had already folded, ironed, came up wrong, and refolded, reironed various hems on the curtains (there are really ONLY 4) far too many times. Not too impressed with the quality of Ikea linen (looks to be thread count of about.. 4.. ) but it's a lining, and i'ts a pretty beige colour that doesn't look offensive from the outside, and did I mention the hems? I cut off the tab top, folded it into the rod pocket fold in the back of the curtain on top, and hemmed the bottom folded over interlining on bottom.

Semi Finished Living Room Drapes:

Next to come, Brown Banding, and the making of green See Through Tulle Fluff (that currently sadly hangs from clips in picture)