Once upon a Snork..

Baby Mouse Wants to Play, Too.

2011-11-14T23:47:00.000-08:00

She came to be almost 6 months ago, and if she knew she wasn't even mentioned in this blog, she'd be pissed. Although, to be fair, nothing's been mentioned in this blog in about 6 months, give or take (give) the last two long months of pregnancy where I couldn't feel my ribs anymore and nothing seemed fun.

She went from this tiny, unimpressed, lip pursing creature (that we were all scared of):

To this:

Still tiny, but a whole little person, with a personality, likes (Mr Snork, baths, her toes), dislikes (she changes these up frequently to keep me on my toes, but always greeted with a ridiculous for her size angry grunt), and all types of skills (that we're still scared of, but not as much).

Like this whole foot in the mouth business. She couldn't do this couple weeks ago. I got probably 80 shots on my camera during this toe discovery business. My hard drive at 6 months post partum is groaning with the weight of thousands of baby pictures. Some taken in continuous action mode. Which makes me think, I have a couple pictures of my great grandma. Baby Mouse's great-grandchildren will be able to see her every day since birth, until Mr Snork confiscates my camera, like he's been threatening.

She's amazing all over, of course, because I m a d e her (with some help from Mr Snork) but she has been particularly amazing in two respects. One is her standing. She started doing it at about 4 weeks old, she'd straighten herself and we thought it was gas, until it turned out she just really likes to stand upright. At about the same time we learned that she did not like being cradled, which to this day, makes for a feeding challenge.

And the other is her face. She's been giving us dirty looks from Day 1. They say babies can't focus well the first couple weeks.. I'm here to tell you, if there's was a reason to focus (milk not in mouth soon enough) she managed to focus. I read an article that said tiny babies don't know what hunger is, and they don't know when it hits, that their parents will be there shortly to relieve it, hence the massive freak out. She may not know I'll be there to relieve it, but she looks at me like she KNOWS I could've been there sooner. It's pretty amazing. And, for Mr Snork, there are also looks of complete and utter adoration. The first bunch of actual, real smiles were actually directed at Mr Snork. Of course. And his ribs didn't even feel a thing. Typical.

Please welcome Baby Mouse (formerly referred to as Strawberry. Turns out she's less of a fruit and more of a tiny animal in person.) My new, tiny, adorable, temperamental sidekick. Who loves her Papa a little more than me, but I'm not bitter or anything. It's probably a baby thing.

The Nesting Mode is a Terrible Thing

2011-04-19T23:24:00.000-07:00

When you have ADD.

We got back from our late honeymoon, and the long stay at the hotel has inspired me.

.. To throw away everything I own.   There's something about living in an empty hotel room, out of a bag with 3 dresses (and 9 bathing suits) that was really, really appealing. This seemed really simple until I got home and remembered I really *like* all the crap I have. But, my God.. there's so much stuff.

So far I have simply resorted to randomly throw away various pieces of clothing as I fold laundry. I have to be quick about it, because if they linger in a plastic 'donate' bag by the door too long, I eventually talk myself into keeping it for refashioning, using the fabric for something else.. a dusting rag.. etc.   I think what the problem *really* is, is that I do not have a walk in closet. Clearly.

The kitchen also got hit, and I managed to toss all the ratty old spatulas, and the 5 sets of measuring cup sets. As well as 800 packets of soy sauce. Then I thought, what if we go camping, spur of the moment, and make rice.. and I'll have no soy sauce?! And then I thought that's exactly how I end up with 800 packets of soy sauce, and that if I served it with rice while camping, Mr Snork would refuse to eat it anyway, citing health concerns, FDA guidelines, and average life expectancy of people who scavenge for food at the bottooms of their kitchen drawers.

I did, however, keep the 200 ketchup packets, because parting with two perfectly edible things at once might seriously scar my psyche.

I have also stripped down the living room curtains, and made Mr Snork put up a traverse rod we've had for ages, and am now working on making the sheers into austrian shades, of sort. I was pretty sure getting the rod hanging was the major obstacle, but it's now been 4 curtain-less days, and an unreasonable sunny/hot living room. Oops.

I am waiting for the mail ordered sheer austrian tape.   Had I known the sheer type can only be gotten online, Mr Snork might have gotten an extension. Something tells me it's going to be a disaster. Horizontal gathers just seem wrong.  I mean, I found some really good pictures online, but my sheers are looking at me with a smug smirk that tells me they will not go down easily.  It's not just their attidude, either.  I used some opaque white tape JoAnn Fabric carries for the edges, and the sheers curved in mutinously. Something tells me that adding 5-6 more segments is not going to improve the situation.   Good thing I got a load of drapery weights at a yard sale for a nickel. Fingers crossed.

In addition this, I'm re-making the curtains to add heading tape, pleats, hooks, etc. This requires piecing panels together, by hand; so, mostly, I've been staring at a giant pile of curtain. I have a sore back that's not conducive to hours of hand sewing. I'm contemplating Stitch-Witchery, or some other iron on adhesive. Horrifying as it may be, it might be the only way these curtains will go up before Strawberry gets here.

Speaking of whom, I have to paint her room. Green, with bubbles? Or flowers? And, may be a monkey. Might have to stencil the monkey.. She's also going to need curtains. I'm waiting for Mr Snork to rip out the carpet and put down flooring in that room. He's seriously lagging on his nesting syndrome, because I sense no sense of urgency about him whatsoever. Although, he is remarkably good at humoring me, so there's that. Had I said today I need that room painted purple, hire an artist to paint a castle, and need him to get into the walls to wire some lights into said castle, I swear, he wouldn't bat an eyelash. He'd pretend to look up castle painting artists adn their credentials and lay low, waiting for the nightmare to pass.

AND, in a truly exciting development, I think I have tracked down the T-Mobile dress reincarnation. What do you think:

And, this, from McCall (#6029) with a fluffiier skirt:

Well, it's close enough. It's closer than the other 'reincarnation' I procured on Ebay:

Might have to make both. After the curtains. And room painting. And shady sheers. And a quilt I am making... (true story). And, of course, the wedding thank you cards. (Insert very ashamed smiley face)

And, only, like, 6 weeks to go till Strawberry! (Who is no longer breech, after 9 days of 4-hour-a-day snorkeling schedule).

Vogue 8438 Complete!

2011-03-27T11:22:00.000-07:00

The previous attempt to shame myself into finishing the coat has been successfull. It's missing the snaps, or more likely, hooks that I'll use for closure, because I'd like to be able to put it on before I position them. And I am about 3 months from being able to put it on.

I also hadn't topstitched the two front panels, because I haven't decided if I want to do a running stitch by hand instead of a machine stitch (in pink!). I added a belt thingy in the back, and had topstitched the edges, so if I decide to hand stitch the front, the back would have to be re-done to match.

I love the 'flower petal collar'. I wanted it tighter around my neck, to make it warmer for the windy Chicago/NorCal trips, and I wasn't sure how to do that, so I just added 1/2" all around the neckline. It worked beautifully.

I also moved in the princess seams 1/2" in towards the center by redrafting the side front pieces [wider] and the cetner front pieces [narrower]. In retrospect, I should have done it for the back as well.

I lined it in some rad $1 JoAnn's clearance Simply Silky print I had laying around. It was a little vile to work with, but I love the end result. I used the Threads tutorial on bagging the lining, instead of the pattern direction to leave it hanging free, though I left an opening at bottom for outside pleat.

It's also interlined with cotton flannel. A giant industrial sized bolt of it that I got for $3 at a garage sale, while Mr Snork kicked and screamed, and that has been an endless supply of interlining for all drapes in my house, and now this jacket. I cut the pieces with lining, and serged the lining + interlining edges together, and then worked with with them as one piece. I omitted the center back pleat in the interlining though, it was looking a little bulky. Mr Snork gifted me my clothing labels, and I used a scrap of raw silk to 'frame it' a la RTW stuff:

I drafted a back facing piece for a more RTW look, and to offset the 6 layers of collar/interfacing/coat that it was to be sewn onto. I had a hard time pressing seams because of the 'velvet like' pile of the uncut cordiroy, but I think they turned out OK. I used sew-in interfacing, heavy for the collar band and medium for the facings, but I wish I had used something even more burly for the collar band. Although it falls kinda nicely as is:

It feels nice and heavy like a jacket should, and I am pretty pleased with the end result. I think a matching hat is in order. Lined in same bright fabric. I wonder what type of a hat wouldn't have a hard time competing with a giant collar. Would a matching purse be too much? :D

Phases of a Project (that lead to its failure)

2011-03-21T15:00:00.000-07:00

- OMG! Look at this pattern! I must make it immediately. (Vogue 8438, currently)

- Stalking and purchase of all related materials, that aren't already stockpiled during the weekend dumpstering sprees.

- Hanging up the material in some prominent spot, to look at and envision the coat once it's made. Reading pattern instructions 8 times, and meticulously preparing.

- Making of the muslin.

That's when it kind of start falling apart. I'm really driven to make it, cause it's going to be super awesome, and I'm going to wear it everywhere. Then, once a muslin comes together, it's like, "Oh, there you are. I see. Next."

In this case, I still wanted to see the finished coat in the purple cordiroy, so I pressed on. But once that came together, it's like ADD kicks in, and I will do anything but finish. It has taken more than 3 weeks now to complete the lining. During which I have:

- gone camping, and taught my little brother about intricacies of riding a dirt bike:

That was fun, except a brief episode where he got either stabbed by an evil plant or bitten by a rattlesnake, and we didn't know which.. (evil plant must have won, since his arm was still intact after the longest. 20. minutes. ever.)

- Mutliated an unused bridesmaids' dress I had hanging around from my wedding into a Princess Aurora skirt for giraffy (to gallop in a race in, of all things):

(Some gold bias tape and a bit of sparkly kitchen curtain really princessed it up!)

- Possibly inspired by giraffy, taken up running again. Really, really slow running. That looks a lot like walking from distance. But supplemented by swimming. I heard this speeds up labor. And I'm pretty freaked out about the whole labor/birth thing. Plus, the 'Diet-Cause I'm Puky' phase was replaced byt the 'Eat EVERYthing' phase somewhere in the 5th month, and it's not pretty. I actually have walked into the gym on several occasions, shaking out the remainder of Chocolate Chex cereal from the bag into my mouth..

- And, finally, taken up golfing, having found a brand new set of (puprle) golf clubs at the S-Boutique, to replace ones I lost somewhere.

I will say Strawberry does not enjoy golfing. No matter how gracefully I tried to squat when setting up the balls.

And, then, there was the 50's dress obsession, and Ebay/Etsy stalkage of any and all 50's patterns that I might find appealing, despite the fact that Vogue 8438 has been spread out on my dinner table, effectively preventing anyone from eating dinner there for a month now.

Additionally, during the super excited stage, I decide to make all these additions and modifications to the garment, which surpass my sewing skills by leaps.. and then seams start to not match up, it gets really frustrating, and I frolick off to consider other, more pleasing projects.

FAIL.

I'm hoping to shame myself into finishing it, by posting a public goal. The coat itself is done. Unless I want to add pockets, which I decided I might want.. The lining is done if you don't count the sleeves. ALL that is left (other than the unfortunate pockets) is the sleeves, and then joining them into one garment.

I added the insert in back with label, to mimic the RTW coats. The lining fabric was in my stash from a previous JoAnn's clearance, and it's slippery, ravels on eye contact, and absolutely vile to work with, but I loved the colors.. I chose to interline the coat in cotton flannel, which is super ...bendy. I cut it and the lining in one go, and by the time I turn around, the underlining is a totally different shape. All these contribute to its undone-ness.

Anyway. I would like to finish this coat tonight. Not for wearability - there's no room for a 7 month Strawberry-belly in it, but as a matter of decency.

Obsession Du Jour: Impractical Dresses

2011-03-12T21:22:00.000-08:00

What's a girl to do to pass time once she sprouts a formidable 6 month fetus belly? Why, shop for hourglass figure dresses, of course. And it's all TMobile's fault.

I saw one in their commercial (with whom I'm not even on speaking terms, because their upgrade policy is awful. New customers get shiny, pretty phones, and meanwhile, my Blackberry looks like it suffered a from a 5 story window. Twice. Into a dump truck. With tree mulching capabilities.) But, their insistence on charging me hundreds of dollars for a new phone is less annoying than putting pretty dresses on their TV models, and having me find out they were custom made.

I don't recall how exactly, but this has led to a massive, unreasonable in its span, search for 50's dresses on Ebay, Etsy, this weekends' yard sales and favorite GMarts. It's still ongoing. I am seeing a whole lot of ugly 80's, and none of pretty 50's.

Meanwhile, I might have purchased this:

Which I was hoping to alter into the TMobile dress, but there pretty buttons in the back:

Mr Snork has repeatedly expressed his hope that if I *were* to wear this out (he says incredulously) I would "at least take those sleeves off". If he keeps it up, I'm gonna wear it, with sleeves, to his office to drop off lunch.

Also currently stalking this wrap dress:

Not a huge fan of the colouring, but I want to make one like it, out of some fabric I have, that's scary close to the cabbage rose pattern fabric in the above dress.

And, possibly this one:

The front!!

So, essentially, not only has TMobile wronged me in their handling of my phone needs, I am now possibly three dresses deep into a dress, and the toll is rising, since none of them so far look anything like THE dress. Which is fine, really, cause I can't fit into anything with a waist for another 3 months, and it's questionable thereafter, with the amount of cake I have been throwing down my throat. Stupid TV.

Pelmeni - Siberian Potstickers

2011-03-04T00:33:00.000-08:00

I have finally found a perfect dough recipe that must be documented for my (and possiby yours?) future use. Typically, the dough part leaves me rockign back and forth in the corner at the end of the night. It's either too sticky, or too crumbly, too stretchy, or not stretchy apart. Ghastly, really.

I picked this up off a Russian message board, where a woman allegedly got it from an old Siberian babushka. After seeing 70 more women chime in, I figured I had nothing to lose. If it failed, I'll resort to eating crappy dough or buying them at $8 a package (small package) at the Russian gorcery shop.

Stories have it that in the old times a village would gather to make these potsticker type things for the winter. They would then store them in their cold attics and survive a winter on them. My mom used to make the family gather, because traditionally, to do them entirely by hand, you do need a small army. (Of obedient children, typically)

I cheat, with a little aluminium form. The look isn't quite the same, but it cuts prep time by 2/3rds, if you're working alone.

For the magical, possibly Siberian dough:
half cup hot water
half cup hot water with tablespoon of full fat sour cream dissolved. (Or just half cup milk)
3 cups flour
tsp salt
1 egg
1 tsp olive/vegetable/sunflower oil

For filling:
1/2 lb beef
1/2 lb pork
one (grated) onion
salt and pepper

I made a mountain of 3 cups of flour on the table, with a well in the middle, into which an egg is dropped, with the hot water/milk mixture and salt and kneaded a quick doug. I've watched my grandma do this, so I like the tabletop method, but a bowl is probably safer. Less space for a runny milky floury egg disaster that way. I know this for a fact..
I wiped tiny bit of oil on top of the dough ball, and stuck it in a plastic bag to hang out at room temperature for 40 minutes. When it came out of the bag, it was like dough magic. I didn't even need to knead it anymore.

The rest is..

The thinner the better. About 2mm is just right.

This was my last batch, so I have some empty spaces in the form. The recipe yielded 4 forms of pelmeni.

It needs a tap to get them to come out.

They hang out on a floured baking sheet in the freezer for a few minutes, until the dough gets hard enough to pile them into plastic bags for storage.

I drop them in salted boiling water (with bay leaf) and 7 minutes later, plus some sour cream - dinner is served.

And then this bird...

2011-02-26T17:52:00.000-08:00

Mr Snork pulled off the I-5 to drop into our favorite GMart in Laguna Niguel, and there, along the off ramp, was the most beautiful stork looking bird. Like this one:

Except, not by a lake, and far from the ocean. Well, a 10 minute flight anyway. I get super frantic, trying to figure out how to rescue the clearly lost confused bird. (By stuffing in it in the back of the trucklet, of course, and taking it down to Dana Point swamps, from which we just came, and where it clearly belongs. )

Mr Snork, who's gotten creepy good at mind reading, gets frantic in turn, with, "Do you know what will happen to us with that bird in the vehicle??!" He's also gotten wicked good with thwarting any good plan I have, and generally raining on my parades.   He got downright dramatic with, "It'll peck our eyes out, and beat us with its wings and claws". Seriously. I mean, it's a bird. How hard could it be. We could keep the windows open, and the wind G forces should keep it in the back.

So, I try to appeal to his apparently nonexistant humanitarian side - He's lost! And confused! Look at him!! His beak is made for fish, and here he is, on the side of the highway. He is sad, and hungry, and he needs to be taken to a swamp, to eat!

In all fairness, it really did look out of place, stalking around gingerly, like he was trying to step around broken glass and cigarette butts, shaking his tiny head.. Until.. and phawk if, in the middle of my bird saving tirade, he didn't gracefully bend his tiny sad head into the grass, and come up with the biggest mouse ever. With a wiggling tail, and everything. And ATE it, with his skinny fish beak, and delicate throat, that apparently expands to fit mice size of sewer rats.

The look Mr Snork gave me as the light turned green was something special.  I can tell my credibility as a wildlife expert has suffered a setback today it might take years to recover from, to say the least.

Vogue 8438 Part II (The Good)

2011-02-04T00:35:00.000-08:00

Coming together.

Kinda nicely. Especially on Nora, who still has a waist..

I tried to use the bias tape sleeve setting method I picked up on Gertie's sewing blog, but somehow failed and they still look 'gathered' at the caps. Could be because for lack of other wool materials, I used a stretchy old sock. It acted like an elastic would..

Channeling skinny thoughts to Strawberry:

I just noticed another bit of unfairness in the pattern illustration. The drawing's neck sticks out for a good 3" out of the collar. I have decided this is an anatomical impossibility, unless you are part swan. Or giraffe.

Their drawings really bug me.

The waist still hasn't been moved up, and the whole thing needs to be lengthened, but I'm thinking it's Bright Purple Cordiroy time!

Vogue 8438, Part I (The Ugly)

2011-02-03T01:26:00.000-08:00

I had all these dresses I meant to make, to take advantage of my new temporary boob situation, empire waists, strappy, good for belly, good for boobs, etc. Then I came across (during pattern sale) and decided I must. make. this coat.

Even though it's fitted, and therefore progressively less and less wearable for the next at least 4 months. By then it'll be June, in SoCal, so, can safely add another 3 months. I think it was the giant collar that drew me in. And, when there was a corresponding purple cordiroy in the clearance isle, it was like it's meant to be, so I set out to make pretty coat.

The instructions seemed easy, easier than dress bodice instructions, actually. So, I thought I'd cut a straight size 12 and see where we go from there. Here's take one:

I mean. No words are needed. Even if we ingored the uni-sleeve (what was the point of doing the other one at this point..), and the collar that I pressed wrong (it doesn't need to be pressed at all), and stitched on wrong twice, and the belly. Mr Snork sensing a huge meltdown, kindly volunteered himself to rip the seam the second time. I should have lined up the center front together for the picture, but I was pretty sure I will never sew again, and didn't really feel like documenting this last adventure. It didn't make much difference anyway, it hung like a bathrobe.

Here's a back view.

Sensing my sizing was a little off, I asked Mr Snork to put it on. -->

It actually looked like it had potential on him. (Minus the collar. It would look good on nobody, ever)

I swore off sewing, and went to bed after this picture. Pity, too, I wish I had taken more for comparison.

It even looked terrible on Nora, and nothing, ever, looks bad on Nora. Everything I have ever made, no matter how crappy on me, has looked spectacular on Nora.

This morning, I tried to talk myself into just winging it, figuring it's a coat, and therefore, should be baggy. I *really* want to get into that purple cordiroy. But then I looked at pattern envelope.

I hate when they draw pictures instead of having real people model it. It always gives me hope, like, "well.. that's what it looks like on Barbie.. but, on a *real* person, like me, it should probably look like this.." pan to me wearing a hobo sack, looking hopefully in the mirror, stiffly holding my arms 1" higher in their sockets, to keep the sack from falling off.

Then I pictured hobo sack in bright purple, and it just didn't do it for me. A quick scan on PR revealed the 3 people who've made it don't look like potato sack wearers either. Must not be part of the design element. Bummer.

Newly energized by the helpful people on PR, who kindly informed me about the princess seams, and where they should lay (not under the armpits), I tore off the offensive muslin collar and trashed it along with the sleeve, tore the bodice down every seam, and redrew a size 10.

After this picture, I let it out 1/4" at the sides. I can't really suck in 5 month fetus in enough to gauge what it would look like post baby, but it seemed a wee snug. I still have to smuggle a lining under there, and I don't like my coats super tight.

There. I might not give up sewing after all. The waist needs to be brought up 1/4", and will add 2" or 3" to the length.

I think I might be OK with it enough to make another collar and a sleeve. If I managed to make this in the next couple weeks, I might still fit into it at completion time.

If not, I'll let Nora wear it until next winter.

Now I'm back to fantasizing about what color lining I can put in. Bright pink? Teal? Green? Something with frogs on it??

A DIY Doughnut Pillow for the Pregodactyl.

2011-01-28T00:50:00.000-08:00

I had all those trash bags of couch stuffing I rescued from the dysfunctional couch cushions, to trip over in the bedroom, where I hid them from the rest of the world. Because I knew I would find a use for them. Meanwhile, disposable space in my bedroom = about 5 trashbags of couch fluff. I had 4 bags. 1 trash bag worth of square footage in a bedroom is not pretty. They'd been in there for a month, and Mr Snork started acting positively homicidal towards them, so I finally got creative and made a U shaped pillow, for all my pregodactyl woes.

I have the actual Snoogle or whatever pillow someone kindly donated to me, and it's nice, but I don't like that it also goes under your head. I like my feather pillows under my head. So, I wanted something similar, and may be a little firmer, to prevent me from rolling on my back. (For some creepy reason that I'm sure is explained somewhere in "What To Expect While You're Growing A WHOLE Other Person Inside YOU", if I end up on my back during the night, I wake up with numb extremities. This makes me think Strawberry isn't getting enough blood either, and then I freak out, and stay up for an hour googling things like "decreased placenta bloodflow" and "blood deprived fetus".)

I found some nice almost denim-like fabric in my stash, and drew what I thought would be an acceptable pillow on fold:

The shape turned out OK. I wanted more of a straight U shape, but I think I ended up free-handing with the rotary cutter too much. It works out, because the resulting shape can be curled into a doughnut of sorts, which is useful.
It was too wide, at first, so I stitched the center taking in 2":

I FINALLY had a use for one of the 80 million zippers I picked up at some garage sale for a dollar. Zipper, inserted, two trash bags of couch fluff later:

I can arrange it into a doughnut and lay on my belly, having it hang into the doughnut 'hole'. It's been pleasing for my back, which is currently jacked up. I was really picturing myself to be the pregnant chick that runs all the way into the 9th month, but apparently, I'll be the pregnant chick that swims every once in a while mostly sitting on her ass, sewing things, drinking tea and crumpets, and laying around wrapped up like a cat in a pillow doughnut. (Some pelvic joint thing I'm hoping is a fluke and will resolve any.day.now.)

Next up, a reading wedge pillow, and I should be couch- fluff- trash- bag- free!

I don't always use it to hang out on living room floor.. but I guess I could?

Simplicity 2364 / Tshirt ReCycle

2011-01-25T10:36:00.000-08:00

The 99c sale came and went, so I stocked up some more, despite Mr Snork's objections. Cause, for 99c, I think I should actually get 2 of each pattern.. just in case.

I made view D, out of an XL Tshirt in the "rag pile", to test it out.

Before:

After:

I know, you're thinking, 'doesn't she know she looks fat in that?' But that's only because I'm slightly pregnant. The 'special diet' I mentioned couple months ago referred to the complete lack of interest in food (and most other things, except naps).

Here it is on Nora, looking pretty spectacular:

I really should have made this top that one week when my boobs grew all of a sudden, and for once, were bigger than my belly in profile. But, other than the timing it turned out cute. I didn't need the elastic, because of Tshirt used, - I cut size 12, which seems to work out for 34 bust and formerly 28 waist. I would definately cut a larger size if I wasn't using stretchy fabric though. I used one of the sleeves, cut off, to extend the top front view, to be able to include the Octopus (Yay, California Coast Clean Up Day!), and the back worked out just fine, cut off center:

I like that its length, I hate, HATE short shirts that ride up. Overall, it's a neat way to recycle old shirts, the only catch being, they should generally be couple sizes too big. Although I had a whole other sleeve to work with, it makes for a lot of extra seams. The facing had to be made from another tshirt entirely, from Mr Snork's TShirts For Rags Pile, and I cut it using the gathered front and back as templates, to avoid gathering it and having a bulky shoulder seam (for a TShirt, anyway, might be fine in other fabrics)

For what its worth, it's not a terrible maternity shirt, when I stop sucking my stomach in for modeling pictures, even if the octopus gets lost a bit.

Next up either more quilting (I'm a quilter now, a really, really bad one), or Simplicity 2587, to see if I can make use of my new boobs, while mutilating the pattern waist size to make room for Strawberry.

Mr Snork has also requested a gun cleaning mat and a rifle sack, out of some manly camo fabric I have laying around left over from the manly yoga bag, but he's yet to present me with his full concept. I found that the big four are lacking in their gun/ammo pattern selection, so he's gotta be pretty specific.

Saggy Couch Cushion Clinic.

2010-12-31T00:33:00.000-08:00

It has the most ridiculous stuffing structure ever - microfiber covers, stuffed with popcorn like bits of wadding. May be at one time it was a glorious one piece wadding, in shape of the cushion.. But, as it was, if I wanted to wash the cushion, I had to empty out it's contents into a giant trash bags getting it all over the house in the process.

And then there was the sag. Since the cushion resembled loosely a potato sack, they lost their shape way before you ever leaned back on them. And got worse from there.

We tried overstuffing them to cure the problem, and ended up with giant vienna sausages of cushions that ricocheted you across the room if you sat down too enthusiastically. And no couch room for your butt. Both not good things. I set out to make some internal cushions, to hopefully hold the stuffing in a more rectangular shape, with the motto "it can't possibly make it worse". May be at least smooth it out, so it doesn't look like I store vegetables in them.

Mr Snork inspected a lone couch cushion we found at Salvation Army and informed me we needed baffle channels in the internal cushions. It would also help if we had 4 giant trash bags of premium down as opposed to JoAnn's grade stuffing, but sometimes finer things, like, say, AG dolls, or down of any grade are just out of my reach. Still, their stuffing is better than a giant piece of foam, cut to shape (my back up plan), so I crossed my fingers and sewed the cushions out of double layers of some muslin I have about 200 yards of around.

There's a glimpse of the last remaining sad cushion, and two 'fixed cushions beside it'. I am pretty pleased with the final outcome. See how even the back of couch is showing? It was really disgraceful.

The homemade cushions in background seem to retain their cushion shape, lean back against the couch appropriately, and generally behave in a way a good cushion might.

I made the internal cushions 3" longer than that microfiber cover, that seems to fill them out nicely, following the Salvation Army cushion measurements. I have no idea how channels are regularly sewn, so I made the top seam, on the wrong side, made the 3 channels, 7" each, and the remaining seams on the cushions are sewn on the outside. The top seam makes the top of the cushion round, as opposed to boxy, and that way molds into whatever top seams the cushion cover has. This is how the commercial cushion was made, so I copied it.

I was a little in love with the serger for finishing the outside seams. I don't know that it's necessary for the inside cushion, what with it never seeing the light of day, ever, but it pleased me anyway. I left one side machine basted closed, in case I want to get in there and add/take away/readjust stuffing.

The original cushions were 41" by 22" by an unspecified width, may be 4".. (shapeless, and all) My inserts were cut at 43" x 21.5 x 6.5, with half inch seam allowances on all sides. Since the top seam is traditional "turn inside out" type, to lay flat at tops of cushions and not show, I added 3.25" on each side of the cushion to the top, plus seam allowance, to make room for the ~6.5 width. The channels are 6.5" each, cut at 7.5". (I serged these too, for fear they'd unravel indignantly at the weight of the crap I was making them hold, and I'd be back where I started. In retrospect, probably not a valid concern. The insert looks a lot bigger than covered cushions, but I think it needs to be to fill it out right.

After I had already measured out and cut my cushion parts, I read on an upholstery message board somewhere, that they make their channels wider than the cushion, so they don't 'pull in'. But the same people also fill them with down and wrap them with down, so they are clearly overachievers.

Mr Snork went over with nicer bits of batting over the cushion, to smooth it out. It took a lot less lumpy stuffing to full these cushions, then it did to fill the cushion cover originally. I still have 3 giant trashbags of lumpy stuffing that I can't seem to part with. There's GOTTA be something else I can sew. Backrest pillow? Body pillow.. Floor pillow? There must be something, and it will occur to me the second I throw away all the batting, I just know it. If all else fails, I can spread it around the Xmas tree, snow-like, and drive Mr Snork mad for a couple weeks. So, if you're local and need a lot of poor quality wadding.. do let me know.

I am pretty pleased with the outcome. And with the fact that no additional funds had to be added to the couch's original cost. (Even my serger thread was a yard sale box find) Although, for a Pottery Barn look (ha) I would probably use some nice, stiff duck canvas. I think the channels would show less, and the lumpy factor in the stuffing wouldn't matter at all. But then we get into that whole, 'buy a $90 Craigslist couch, spend $200 'working on it' phenomenon, and anyway, at the rate I sew, there's no way I'll ever use up the 8 football fields of muslin I once got at Goodwill for $5, unless I implement it every chance I get.

It's been about two weeks between this project and the time it took me to post this, and I am happy to report the couch cushions are behaving very nicely. I also occured to me I have a bolt of thick curtain interlining, that I could 'wrap' the inside cushions with to get rid of any left over lumpyness, but I'm a little too lazy for revisions like that.

Obsession Du Jour - Dolls, (and getting them for freeee.)

2010-12-13T11:33:00.000-08:00

Also known as obsession #478567.

I have a bit of an obsessive compulsive personality. When I was little I thought the world would come crashing down if I stepped on a crack between cement tiles, and it made for very long travel times to the playground. So, it could be worse, I could be compulsively licking lamp posts and other random objects, and instead I cultivate the obsessive side of my personality.

I'm on the fence, between thinking it's creepy and unseemly for a woman my age, but then I think of all the old ladies who collect dolls, who,granted, I think are creepy, and it seems alright that I just want one little doll, mostly to practice my tiny doll sewing for.

Not just any dolls. What I wanted was a Magic Attic doll. Partially because I stumbled upon my little sister's American Girls catalogue, and Mr Snork informed me we could afford nothing in there. (Not even the stuffed raccoon that comes in a tiny tin trash can, for $40, to accompany the $300 camping trailer with a fold down bed).

And partially because after that I decided their dolls are dumb anyway. They all look the same. Poo on you, $95 doll with no personality and funny looking thighs. I don't care that you come with a book. Your outfits cost more than mine, and it's just not good for my self esteem.

My stepmother had dug out a no name but pretty doll for $3 at Goodwill, and long, methodical Saturday morning Google image search of every doll image available (on the worldwide web) turned out it is Megan, of the Magic Attic Club. An obsession was sparked.

This is my sister's Megan. (My sister is 11, so only one of us is creepy).

A quick Craigslist search turned up a couple Megan's in New York and Ohio, and a couple of her sisters a little closer to to home, but not quite. I also stalked Ebay, but it's hard to shell out $40 for a doll when my stepmother paid $3. It's not good for my psyche. AND, I'm almost 30, so my dolls would really need to be free, so I can tell people it was an accident.

"I don't know how I ended up with that.. I bought a car, and it was rolling around in the back seat..."

Fast forward to this last weekend, when a doll surfaced in Oceanside. After some mild haggling, for $20. With 'extras'. Extras, is doll speak for all the doll crap that should naturally come WITH the doll, because there's no other use for it, but instead, people will charge you $10-$30 per outfit, shoe, and anything that doll's ever touched and that originally probably came in the box with her. Not that I'm bitter.

But this Oceanside lady was very reasonable, and for $20, she set a trash bag of doll, and all her worldly belongings on her porch with an empty envelope for payment. Like every good Craigslist transaction should be.

Meet Alison:

I found that Mr Snork gets really creeped out when he finds the doll staring at him, so naturally, I've spent larger portion of the weekend staging the doll off to his side, or behind him, with an inquisitively tilted head aimed right at him. When he's watching football..washing dishes...stripping some furniture..googling Ebay rates for doll sales...

And, speaking of Ebay, ridiculously priced doll accessories, and American Girl phenomenon. Couple blocks down after we picked up the doll trashbag, was an estate sale, where I picked up a pink doll trunk, and a shoe box filled with doll crap. Mr Snork almost stopped talking to me, in a "are you seriously going to fill our house with doll shit in your old age" kind of way, but I was too busy mourning a doll bed someone swiped right from under me to pay him any attention.

Last night, I put some doll stuff on Ebay. 3 people have excersized the Buy it Now Option, and as of last night, Alison was officially free and paid for. The doll trunk and the shoe box of doll crap, also paid for. Couple other items have bids. I have a feeling our gas and lunch expenses that day will be paid for shortly as well. And, I have more doll crap to list. Woot.

Apparently, I arrived at the sale too late for a doll bed, and possibly a doll (I'm assuming there was one), but just in time for shoe box of "extras". It appears that AG 'extras' not only sell at stupid prices, but after they become discontinued and replaced by more ridiculous extras, they become "retired" and even more sought after. Score.

Needless to say, Mr Snork is talking to me again. Now I gotta go ship some stuff.

I Made a New Friend

2010-11-04T10:40:00.000-07:00

And she made me this picture. I think the inspiration came from this cartoon man guy, whose name I forget. But whose books I picked up at a yard sale in Pacifica this summer. Clearly, it was meant to be.

Its been a while.

2010-10-21T11:36:00.000-07:00

I am trying a new diet of sorts.. It's temporary, and will undo itself shortly.. But, meanwhile I have no energy to sew, garage sale, or even, *gasp* do a sweep by the G-Mart on the way home from work.

I'm feeling better this week though, and fortified by a nice dinner of chicken livers last night (plain, fried with salt, while Mr Snork hid in the other end of the house, pinching his nose), I think it's sew time.

I wonder if I can pull it off before Halloween:

I also like these two:

I wonder how speedy I can be..

I Have, and I Have Not.

2010-09-27T00:08:00.000-07:00

As in, have you come here of your own free will,

and

Have you promised yourself to anyone else.

It was beautiful.

Mr Snork and I would like to make it an annual affair. Vow renewal same time next year, anyone?

Details to follow. They're not for the weak and well planning types.

September was the Month of Wedding and Recovery. October will the Month of Recap. Had I made June, July and August be the Months of Planning and Preparation, the recovery period might have been shorter. But that would have been no fun. No fun at all.

- Mrs SnorkM

The Blue Elephant (Singer 338)

2010-09-01T16:34:00.000-07:00

I picked her up, with manual and all extra parts at a yard sale for $8. I was looking for a Singer 185, and asking everyone if they were selling an old sewing machine. While Mr Snork rolled his eyes, and mumbled that if they were selling a machine, it would be on their lawn.

Naturally, as he was mumbling something to this effect at a sale in Pacifica few weeks back, the lady ran back into the house, talking about indeed having an old machine or two. Her son/cashier, confided in me that it was the 'ugly blue/green from way back', and I probably wouldn't want it, as the Mr groaned. "If it's ugly, she'll want it even more. FML"

It turned out to be a Singer 338, complete with a plastic blue carrying case. It's giant, very heavy, and generally elephant- like. I stayed behind and petted its beautiful pastel blue enamel paint, lest someone think it's not taken as Mr Snork left to the ATM. Not having any cash is usually a foolproof way not to buy stuff, but every once in a while, when I start petting inanimate objects, he just turns around and comes back with some money. It's almost telepathic, and really, really endearing. I wish I could pay him back in kind, but he just never gets excited about a screwdriver or a saw at a yard sale like that.

Good thing I stayed, too, because two other ladies were hawk eyeing my new baby like crazy, and one asked if she could pet it also. True story.

The 338s were only made for a couple years, in the early 60's. It uses cams for decorative stitches, and can even do double needle stitching. Pretty fancy. (I wonder if ever there arises a need for decorative stitches.)

I didn't need another machine, and I still want the 185. But - for $8 - how do you walk away??

It's my very first "portable" machine, and I promptly unfolded it all at my dad's house, and imagined myself a travelling seamstress. I mean. It might be a little over a flight baggage allowance on most airlines, but it's such a pretty blue color..

It fired right up, the light and everything, and went to stitching like new. All very, very pleasing.

And, to crown the last yard sale of the day, while the Mr was off banking, there were these sterling earings in an old sewing box. First I hunted down a matching pair.. and then I added them to the tab. Total at check out: $8.25. Win.

3 miles of treadmill on the screen

2010-08-27T23:23:00.000-07:00

3 miles of treadmill.
You run one barely
Crawl the other two
..
3 more miles of treadmill on the screen.

Well, if we were to do 6 miles like we planned, in prepapration for the Turkey Trot 10k. (Warrior Dash has made me ambitious and delusional at once.). Its a nifty combo.

Instead, I messed with tension on Blue Elephant, ate half a loaf of bread, invented excuses, announced I was sleepy,..

And by the time Mr Snork delivered us to the gym at 10:30 pm it was a miracle I didn't stumble off at 2 mile mark, saying unladylike things.

Then I remembered the half a loaf of bread. Dammit.
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I Want Puppy

2010-08-11T13:32:00.000-07:00

I get to borrow Henry from one of our customers a few times a week. He naps in my lap while I ignore everything work related.

It's a pretty good system. Sometimes we read emails and take walks around waiting room together. And pose for pictures a lot.

After he leaves I have to remind myself for the millionth time that
I spend about 1 weekend a month at home,
some airlines now charge full tickets for puppies,
puppies do not like being stuck in my two bedroom apartment full of sewing machines 9-6, every day
Small puppies like Henry might object being left at camp as bear bait

Insert giant theatric sigh.
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Barbara Jean's Pretty Pink Quilt

2010-08-09T14:35:00.000-07:00

Saturday was Pacifica's annual city wide summer sweep charity organized garage sale day. We happened to be in Pacifica. WIN!

It is noteworthy that, unlike Southern Californians who like to start at 6 am and other disturbing hours, non of these started befroe 8, and there were only a couple of those. Mr Snork and I (OK, I) were overly zealous with our 7 am start. So, we had breakfast, and he gave me a quick pep talk about how we don't need a n y thing. Hours of fun ensued, all within a few mile radius and an ocean background.

There was even an episode involving llamas. LLAMAS. (they weren't for sale)

It was the home stretch, Mr Snork could see our house (well, my dad’s), and smell the chicken sandwich and a nap.. But there were two more garage sales on the block between him and the house. The first had a camp stove that we considered, but then decided we didn’t want to pay $10 for, because we might actually want a fancier one, with dual fuel options and a middle burner. This is important, we cook a lot while camping.

The last one had a sewing machine, but a plastic one, so I wasn’t interested, a giant old paper cutter that briefly intrigued me until I drew a mental parallel between it and old French guillotines. It even had a wooden platform. I decided to hold out till a newer one, with a sliding blade falls into my lap.

And, The Quilt. I picked it up, and the stern grandmotherly lady was quick to say it’s got a hole in it, her dog got to it. This was true, there was a hole. But there was also some pretty rose shaped top stitching. And it was pink. She couldn't remember if her mom or grandmother made it, then settled on an aunt called Barbara Jean. I looked around some more, getting the most out of my last sale of the day, found nothing, and came back to the quilt. Jesse wimpered something about ending his life if he didn’t get a sandwich right then.

I asked the lady what she wanted for the quilt, and in the background, I heard the sound of Jesse melting down. She said, “The one with the big HOLE in it”? as if she didn't have it there for sale, and I was shopping her purse for her personal effects. Since she had no other quilts, torn or otherwise, I said yes, and traced one of the stitched roses with my finger. (Jesse maintains that she didn’t have it out there for sale at all, it was accidentally brought out with the laundry and if she did, it was c l e a r l y meant to line a dog kennel. Which only made it worse, because, c l e a r l y, the quilt needed to be saved.)

“You want to FIX it!”, the lady said with the inflection one might say, “You’re want to PEE on it!”. And, “you are a sewer” that sounded a lot like, “You smell like eggs”. Followed by some muttering about me petting the quilt lovingly. She also said I could have it for a buck – coincidentally, the exact amount, to the last quarter, left in Mr Snork’s pockets, who, by the way, behaved atrociously, suggested I inspect the quilt for dog poop, and asked the lady if she was also selling rope. (The quilt didn’t smell funny. It was freshly washed, and smelled like lavender Tide. My favorite.)

And, anyway, it proved my point that she WAS selling it. If she wasn’t, I’d gotten it for free. Even though I’m not really a sewer, I just like to pretend - after careful examination, its been determined only 4 squares can’t be salvaged, and will have to be replaced – I can swing that.

In Mr Snork’s defense, I had, just earlier gotten a quilt, with no holes, and a matching pillow sham, for $2. But we won’t talk about that. I also have a bit of an obession with "saving" things from their current environment, particularly, if they are under $3. And, a slight disconnect between the number of projects I take on and the amount of time I dedicate to them. But, look at the stitching! -

I mean, what do dogs know about pretty rose stitching?

Vogue 8556 Part II

2010-07-23T10:59:00.000-07:00

The bra cup idea was actually Mr Snorks, as I was prowling JoAnn's, looking for things I might need, and things I would never need but that are on clearance, therefore impossible to walk past without at least considering.

I hadn't even considered if the back of the dress is high enough for a normal strapless bra. I could get away without, but I like the bra cup shape and looking like I'm the sort of person who wear a bra.
Then it turned out it takes half hour to pin a cup into some lining. Who knew. After 8 failed trial and error episodes, where I pinned cups to lining, ran to the mirror, found out they sit 2" below my boobs, rinse repeat with varying (all unsuccessful) results, the idea bulb finally went off. I put on the front piece backwards, placed the bra cups on top of what is the lining in a way I thought was flattering (debatable), traced the outline with chalk, and then pinned the cups to lining before crossing my fingers and sewing them on. Temporarily placing a peach inside to keep the fabric curved the way I needed it. For some reason 'more flattering' included flipping the cups upside down from the package illustration.

I used the thin, foam cups. Next time JoAnn's is sending out their 50% off coupons, I'm buying out the whole shelf of them and sewing them into e v e r y t h i n g.

I'm a fan.

In an unrelated story, this fabric would make an awesome swimsuit. I hope to have enough remnants left over to fashion something like that. Or panties. How awesome is it to have a dress and MATCHING panties. Some ruffles and a quick flower headband out of the same remnants and I could totally dress myself like a 3 year old.

Vogue 8556 Part I

2010-07-21T09:39:00.000-07:00

I'm super excited about this pattern, so I thought I'd try it, even though I should *really* be undoing and redoing my curtains with blackout fluff. (They are currently unattractively see-through). But, there's a pretty back strap involved, and I got sucked in.

First draft of the chest piece required a lot more boob than is available, so I read a few tutorials on Small Bust Adjustments.

I really liked someone called Gertie doing a tissue pinching thing, and coming up with a beautifully fitted bust. I considered it, cause she made it look so good. Then I remembered I suck, and if I pinned my tissues together and onto me, they would end up shredded before I could find my pencil, and I would be reduced to a pissed off, TP'd version of me, looking to go buy a new pattern (no longer on $3.99 sale, no doubt)

We'll call it the ghetto SBA. I clipped, snipped, and overlapped with abandon, shortened the neckline, and the second draft was more pleasing. It appears I also have to move the pleats two inches to the outside, either because the new pattern piece, or my shape. Original pleats are no good. I also hacked away a half inch at the widest, in an arc in the middle to make more of a V shape.

This doesn't include everything I did, but it looks like I know what's up with drawing fancy lines and overlapping stuff, so I'm posting it.

Then there's interpreting the illustration on the pattern envelope as it relates to bodice length. It appears it extends over the hips. But when I extend 3 layers of fabric, one of them gathered, from my boobs to my hips, I lose my waist entirely and start feeling like a hippo.

I shortened the bodice piece a little, and that seemed to help a tiny bit.

Or not? I need to start drafting muslins in a more flattering black. In a related story, I am NOT a Vogue size 14.

Doesn't look good for 16 either, if I ever wanna sit. Measuring fail. Check out the back strap situation though?!

In a related story, I was pretty excited to find an actual model picture on Vogue site. The cartoon drawings are awesome, but then I get really discouraged when what I come up with just doesn't look the same and cause I'm not 6'3". They ought hire someone else to do pattern caricatures. I want to see 30" bust and 40" hips on the envelope, thanks, Vogue.

And, finally, the two fabrics I have with enough yardage:

I'm thinking Door #2. The red is shiny, and I don't know that I can handle shiny and slippery just yet.

YEEP! The project goes on.

Vogue 8552, Sack-ness, and Cute-ness.

2010-07-19T15:06:00.000-07:00

Affectionately known as The Sack.

I think it could be super cute, on someone with lesser hips than mine. I was in love with the pockets, and overall sack-ness of it, but, turns out when I wear a sack – not SPECTACUAR. My mom would say that it's good for selling potatoes at Moscow's Central Market. The cartoon chick on the envelope pattern does it better. Certainly not because she’s drawn on a scale of 5’11’’ height and a 10” waist.

The other problem is that inevitably, I am drawn to colours, and sparkles, and big bunches of pink. It’s like I think I might expire out of boredom, if I used a sensible, solid fabric. But, I think this dress would do well in a solid fabric, may be with some contrast topstitching, to bring out the pockets. That way they might not look like a flowery extension of my butt.

However, I made it, so I LOVE it.

Not to mention, it was my birthday, and for the Most Thoughtful, Cute Gift EVER, Mr Snork got me these:

Tell me you didn’t just fall over, overwhelmed by the adorableness. I feel overwhelmed just typing about it. My very own labels. I feel very Gaultier-like.

Some other developments for this dress:

I figured out how to use an ancient “Buttonholer”.

I'm not even sure how it works, it all happens so fast. I think it just maniacally rattles the machine, which in turn sews a buttonhole out of sheer terror. That's what it seems like, anyway. Although it’s entirely a crapshoot on whether it’ll make a buttonhole or chew up and spit out your fabric mangled – I bravely made a buttonhole (attempt 2). Complete with tiny, cute, glass rose buttons courtesy of JoAnn’s. I also spent a half hour with my seam ripper on ButtonHOLE Attempt 1, but I don’t like to talk about it. I will say, that is a LOT of stitches in a small area. A bit of an FML moment. But, it can’t be blamed – It came with the sewing machine I got at a garage with a receipt from the 60’s. It’s a wonder it didn’t just crackle and fall apart.

I decided to forgo the zipper, mostly because I wanted to use a buttonholer, and I put in two small darts in the front, under the bust. The ruffles on top translated into a ‘belly pouch” area that I found unattractive and in need of being eliminated. It's a little evident in photo below, but its after I put in on, having eaten a loaf of bread with olive oil that it really thrives and stands out.. It would make a fantastic Maternity Sack.

The best part came in after I washed it, for the first time ever, because I forgot to preshrink. It’s now a much shorter sack. Luckily, I kept shaving off the armholes, until I had taken off nearly an inch, because it seemed I either have behemoth arms, (I don’t) or they were cut for wrists. I worried that an inch made them too ‘gapey’. Not to worry though, the shrink job took them right back up. Speaking of armholes, I thought those sleeves would look stupid and flappy, but they’re flappy and CUTE!

Pooping Predators, and The Case of the Sad Mint Plant.

2010-07-16T10:58:00.000-07:00

So, I bought this mint plant at farmers market, because I like mint in my tea. I always get the $1 bunch, which lasts me a week or two, but I had visions of a giant mint bush, like my father has outside his house in NorCal. At tea time, the children go pluck some leaves, and, voila! Either a nice minty tea, or some mozarella/lemon/mint plate.

Anyway, back to my plant. So, I happily plucked some leaves on days one and two, but then it went downhill. It got sickly. Figuring it was too young a plant for leaf plucking, I thought I'd leave it be for a while.

It kept getting sicklier. Something was eating the leaves (and not me, the person who paid $5 for it!). We moved it inside. We watered it. We tried sun. We tried no sun. Mysterious black clumps littered the leaves.. Like, bug poop.

Sad Mint Plant With Mysterious Illness:

Finally, Mr Snork warned me to stay away from it, cause he'd spray it with some bug murder spray. It was either going to die, or recover, but otherwise, something else was gonna finish it off and poop on the remaining bald stalks. :(

Last night, we laid in bed and wandered if whatever was eating it is nocturnal and springs up from the ground. Cause we haven't seen anything, and there are only, like, 7 stalks to keep track of. Severely balding stalks. We considered sneaking up on the mint plant, to see if IT has emerged.

But the we fell asleep, before we had a chance to ambush the plant eater.

This morning, I went to see the (even balder) mint plant, to see if it needed water, or something, and noticed that the bug poop is now obscene. Something has shat on my plant, shamelessly, and the leaf is weighted down by the clumps. Whatever it is, it's getting bigger. The shit clumps are now bigger than an ant, so it rules out ants, those tiny green bugs, or, really, anything tiny.

(Note the half eaten leaf). And, then, THEN, either because IT moved, or my gaze was shifted by the audible CHEWING, I SAW IT. (Right above the poop)

Perhaps a closer look, the way it appeared in person:

I almost fainted.

Look at the size of that thing's eyeball!!!! Check out the spiky, (probably poisonous) Freaky Hairs. And it's stupid, clever coloring. It could be cast in a Harry Potter sequel. Look at how it's shamelessly eating, even as it's being discovered and camera flashes are going off like mad in its face. It didn't even stop to consider me.

Fighting my instinct to call Mr Snork (at work, for an hour now), and scream, "OMG THERE"S A CATERPILLAR IN THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!! COME NOW" (tragically, his work arrangements are not such that he can come and go, to heroically fight rodent-bugs at the house. Dammit.) I circled the living room in panic a few times, thinking about waking up one of the neighbors.

I got some paper towels, to grab the THING, but then I thought the hairs might puncture the paper towel, AS it turned around and bit me. I swear it LOOKED at me, threateningly, and anyway, I do not like being bitten or slithered upon, let alone, with something surely poisonous.

I considered Windex, cause it does a number on ants. But this thing lived through a hard core bug spray and came through just fine, downright famished, and pretty regular in its bowel movements. I consdered taking the entire plant outside, until Mr got home, but at the rate THING ate and shat, not much might be left in 8 hours.

Finally, I held the mint plant with biggest tweezers I could find, wishing I could maneuver well with BBQ tongs and carefully snipped the stem with my best sewing scissors, carrying the infested stalk to the trash, wimpering, all the while. I kept an eye on it, while I washed the dishes, cause it looked like something that would slither out and straight across my kitchen to reclaim its pot. Then, I'd have to leave the house, and admit defeat. Fortunatelly, it seemed unbothered, and ate the rest of the mint stalk happily, eyeballing me, no doubt, with contempt. All the way until I took it downstairs to the trash. Where it's probably kicking ass as we speak.

Stupid slithery hairy side eyeing worm bugs.

This is What Happens When Vons Closes

2010-07-15T09:54:00.000-07:00

And has a 5o% off sale.

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Hello, Baby (Craigslist WIN)

2010-06-29T16:03:00.000-07:00

I have a Craigslist obsession. It's bordering on unhealthy. I know it's a problem, and I'm trying to deal with it. Unsuccessfully.

Introducing, my newest toy:

I have been diligently stalking Craigslist and garage sales for a serger, with not much luck, for a few months now.  Just when I was resigned to buying whatever I could get my hands on for $40, and mastering french seams (check) this came up. For $50, I have the BabyLock Protege (BL 402), with a carry case, although no manual.   It's got 4 scary needles, differential feed, and works faster than I think.

I was a little intimidated, because I had called a local sewing shop last week - to see about their used/floor models - and the sales guy dropped some unsettling knowledge on me regarding sergers. Most of it had to do with me needing the self threading serger, because they are otherwise impossible to thread. Impossible. It takes professionals 15 minutes, he said, and it blew the wind out of my serger sail significantly. The magical serger starts at $1,000. I mean.  I love this sewing thing, but if I had an extra thousand Snorkcoins, I might allocate it to Mr Snorks' New Dirtbike Fund. Or something that involves an exotic country. Not a sewing machine. Time for those french seams.

However, The Baby has a tiny handy color coded threading diagram right on it, and Mr Snork downloaded a copy of a similar Brother 1034D serger for me, and played a few YouTube videos of the threading process. Even without the YouTube videos, I had the thing threaded in 5 minutes. That includes a couple of choice words and looking in the bathroom for my tweezers (they come in handy).

I think I will call the salesman back and call him a dirty, dirty liar.

It's stupid fast. A lot of scraps later..  I have the tension thing eyeballed. Not so good:

Pretty bad:

Pretty good:

A 'chain' !!:

The lady I got it from had bought it off her friend and never ordered a manual and learned to use it. She thought it might need a new blade, but wasn't really sure if it was missing, or broken, or what. (Blade seems to cut fine). There was really no way to test it - since neither one of us had any idea about threading it, so she told me - "If it doesn't work, you can bring it back, I'm not a jerk or anything". There are some super nice people floating out there.

McCalls 5081 aka Men's Shirt Refashion. (Fail)

2010-06-21T11:53:00.000-07:00

I mean. I guess it’s not terrible. The concept is nice. It occurred to me I don’t like halter tops, especially ones that weave in front of your neck, when I tried on the semi finished version.

The second I slithered into it, and pinned the back together together, I looked in the mirror and understood the importance of making a muslin. Those chicks on Pattern Review aren't kidding.

I also object to the optical illusion the stripes give, narrowing at the top like that. I do not have the shape to be narrowed at the top. Pattern cutting out fail.

I used an old mens’ shirt, and I ended up with just enough fabric after I had ripped open French cuffs, the collar, and the back facing, and took out the label. Just. Enough. But I could have probably flipped these upside down or something, to get the lines to diverge at my chest. I guess that's what happens when you cut out your patterns in the garage, keeping company to an oil changing Mr Snork.

But, most offensive of all is the Pancake Boob phenomenon (look at the profile).

Yeah. It looks JUST like that when I put in. I have yet to find a fix for it on Pattern Review. There’s something called the Full Bust Adjustment, but the name leads me to believe I’m not a candidate. I’m not really sure where I went wrong:

Having no boobs? (likely)

Cutting too big a size? (12) (unlikely?)

Cutting too big a size in boob area? (likely).

The weight and texture of the fabric? (likely)

The gathering needs to be placed elsewhere? (I followed the pattern to the dot..)

The top is interfaced, and has facings, so it’s three layers of pretty stiff fabric. I think may be, in a nice fluid-y knit or one of those Spring “Silks” at JoAnns, it might have a chance. Which is too bad, I really like the concept of a refashioned men's shirt. But. Not like this.

It doesn’t look to bad on Nora, (save the profile view) but when I put it on I look like I’ve decided to creatively choke myself with Mr Snork’s apparel while making my boobs look weird. AND, I know I’m not being paranoid, because Mr Snork, who always treats my experiments with nothing but praise, to avoid any sort of a breakdown on my part, looked at my fitting, and asked, “What’s wrong with it?”.

Just like that.

I think I’ll rip it apart, and try a smaller size in muslin, see what that does for me. But first, I'll get the biggest bra I own, and stuff it with my fluffiest dirtbike socks, and try it on. Just to see if it makes a difference. I doubt I’ll ever wear it, cause of the weird halter phobia, but I do want to see if I can make it fit.
The lady in pattern picture doesn't look like she's having issues. (This was one of my 10c garage sale acquisitions, circa 1970).

It’s going in the "later" pile though, I have another pattern (Vogue’s 8552), that I had cut out months ago, also without a trial muslin, so I can’t wait to see how that goes. I guess I could quickly whip up a trial dress, since I haven’t sewn anything. Hmm. Now that I've typed that out, I'm pretty sure I ought.

Surprise Garage Sale WIN

2010-06-17T16:41:00.000-07:00

I'm behind on bloggying, because I've been wrestling 90 yards of velvet into some curtains every night after work, but this last weekend...

June was gonna be a “Thrift Free” month, because I can’t help myself. I guess it’s not THAT bad, I could instead have a nasty Starbucks habit, like certain significant others.. So, if I walk out S-Boutique $4-5 later with a dress, teacup, pair of shoes, whatever – it’s not the end of the world, right? Except the Starbucks disappears into Mr Snork’s scary metabolism, and my dress pile (to make something out of) has grown considerably.

Anyway, this Saturday, Mr Snork woke me up at 6:30, for a surprise, which had me in a pretty sour mood. He's been talking about it since Thursday night and it sounded shady. There aren’t very many things I am receptive to that early. So, he stuffed me in the vehicle, with my mood improving tea thermos, and went off driving to me muttering “probably somewhere ridiculous”. He was positively giddy, and I was a little worried he secretly signed me up for another 5k. But then, he pulled up and unleashed me onto this driveway.. where sewing stuff was e v e r y w h e r e. I may have squealed a little.

Mr Snork found what looked like the mother of all crafty sales on CL, and has planned to deliver me there right at 7 am on the dot. (God forbid someone else walks away with my stuff). It was a little amazing, and the woman hosting the sale was the most energetic, chatty garage sale haver EVER. At first it was annoying, but then it became contagious. She was selling stuff like the guy a the farmers’ market sells bundt cakes. Loudly, and with conviction. Do I need a sewing machine? How about some ribbon? How about tassels? Do I know how to use tassels? Well, if I did, I would want them for sure. Thread? Oh, I got thread? Take MORE thread! How about a snap maker? Look at this pillow!! On and on and on.

In a stroke of luck (yet again) she had a Giant Curtain Rod. This thing is meant for a place much grander than my two bedroom, it’s like a sideways palm tree, skinned. But, it just so happens, my mother gave me the most ridiculous set of curtains – something like 20 yards of 54” fabric, sewn together into one, 108” by 20 yard piece of velvet football field awesomeness. In the 1500’s, they’d make the royal tents in the field of battle out of this stuff. And it’s been sitting, all 190 lbs of it, in my closet, because the type of rod that would hold them up does NOT sell at Ross for $6.99. (I love Ross rods).

$1 Curtain Rod. I am now knee deep in sewing curtains. And then duvet covers. And table runners. And chair covers. More curtains. Who knows.

$3 Bolt of green raw silk. It’s SO pretty. The pictures really fail here. $1 bolt of stripey green/purple silk. $1 bolt of quilt interfacing/curtain interlining stuff (Not pictured, but it's giant and brand new, in plastic).

A Trash Bag o’Thread. $1. Mostly new rolls, serger thread even, despite the fact that serger hunt has been unsuccessful, I'm preparing. Some spray adhesive. Some snap tape for duvet covers. Some more silk (brown, dupioni).

A $1 shelf, already hung by the door, with some teacup hooks to accommodate keys. Mr Snork really took initiative on that, because every morning he hunts the house for my keys, which I leave various places the night before. On one occasion he’s found them in the fridge. I don't care for the green color, but I guess it goes well with the dolphin theme (to be found nowhere else in my home) untill I strip and stain it.

Mr Snork also really liked the curtain hold back things. Especially after he was told they came from a sister’s old house in Ohio. 50c. Did you know you can use them to HANG curtains? I saw pictures in a magazine. It’s true. Mostly over triangle shaped windows, but that might not stop me..

At some point, I looked up to see the Mr holding three bolts of fabric, a giant curtain rod, and various odds and ends, just hanging out, looking at book titles. The garage saler’s neighbor shared that her husband would rather die than be there, and I felt extra lucky. And a little guilty, I don’t know if I could be that good if he decided to, say, take me to 8 auto parts shops in one day. I might snap by #2, and offer we order whatever we need online..

I offered repeatedly that he set the stuff down in a corner, and frolick freely, but he told me later, he was being stalked for the curtain rod and possibly some other loot, and setting it down didn’t seem safe, and he’d hate to see me get violent in a driveway.. Ahhh, love.

AND, the best part of this sale is that the hostess and I exchanged phone numbers, because, apparently, if ever I need more stuff (like a fabric cutting board), there's a good chance she has it (turns out she did). Squeal!!!

CDM5k "Success"

2010-06-09T11:55:00.000-07:00

I was pretty psyched that I came in 518th. Out of like, 3,000 people. Nope. Out of 680.

76th percentile. As in, not even in the top three quarters.

And, why is it that every 'official' picture of me looks terrible? I was really hoping for a Baywatch type slow - motion captured on film, long flowing hair, bouncy boobs and everything. Fail.

Giraffy looks super awesome, and totally in Baywatch mode, and I look like I'm reciting the little drummers part in the Nutcracker.

36:32 minutes.

More training in order.

On the bright side, Mr Snork's pictures look like he's taking a poop, so that's pleasing. Does that make me a bad partner?

Aside from the Giraffy household being definately more in motion photogenic, it was very scenic. That there is Pacific Ocean in the background, my friends.

And some creepy awesome flowers.

And, there was creme brulee at the end. AND, chicks stopped me to ask what I did to my shirt, cause I shortened it, did a swirly embroider thing on the sleeves and gathered the shoulders. So, it's almost like I had fans. I felt very celebrity like.

Also, let's dicuss this look:

I think I might like it. I think I want those boots.

I do.

I definately do.

Friday Goodies.

2010-06-04T16:56:00.000-07:00

First, my coworkers' parents came from Germany, and "Omi" brought me a teacup she's had in her cupboard in Germany for a while. It's Japanese and super dainty and see through. I've had my thermos tea today from it, and I'm pretty pleased. That's the second time I've sat around at work and had a tea cup dropped onto me. A trans atlantic teacup, even.

Then at lunch I kidnapped Mr Snork and dragged him to an estate sale, conveniently on the way. Everything was really pretty but expensive. I fell in love a little with an iron, the kind you put coals into, and it irons.. But everything was priced a la antique shop in Orange County, CA, so I let that dream go. For $65 that iron needs to be fully functional and I can't expect Jesse to make with BBQ coals every morning before work..

But, I did find and dig through a cup of silver tea spoons - an obsession relation to teacups, but a lot less space consuming, so, yay? I found two I really liked, and had to talk the hostess into getting them - they were being sold as a 12 piece lot for $68, and she was reluctant to sell separately, but eventually, I got 2 for $10.

I deciphered one hallmark to be Wallace and Sons,

the spoon with the pretty pine cones.

The other seems to be "IS" in some wings, or feathers, or may be just an "S"?

a "Pat .88",

and a "sterling" on it.

It looks pretty old, or "haunted" as my little brother says, so naturally, it appeals to me even more. As does this kind of research, on some obsessive compulsive level. There is an International Silver Co, but it seems that all their hallmarks spell out the name.

PS, after I typed up this blog, I went back searched just the "S" letter, and came up with George Shiebler & Co. They were dissolved in 1910, which explains the rubbed out hallmark and its general 'haunted-ness'.

PPS, after some more nosing around, I found the pattern. Discontinued in 1888! Extra haunted. I might take it up to NorCal with me next time, to drink tea with and freak out the small anti-antique siblings.

I think I'll go back tomorrow and check out the other spoons I left behind. Shhh. Don't tell the Mr. It's the most haunted thing I have, after the Russian imperial silver spoons my dad brought me for my birthday. Monogrammed with "K", conveniently, for my Russian nickname - 'Kuzya'. Kuzya is a small, very dirty unbehaved housekeeping troll in a popular Soviet time cartoon, but never mind the details. The spoons are pretty rad.

Three Fast Food Fails

2010-05-31T23:42:00.000-07:00

1. Quiznos chick in San Fernando considered me quizzically when I ordered the Black and Blue, a steak and gorgonzola cheese salad. Luckily, her counterpart knew what it was and guided the making of the salad. Phew. Tragedy averted. I hate when I get thwarted on long drives (SoCal-Norcal). Is it discontinued? And nobody rang me? No email. No, "last chance coupon"?

2. I ordered and fell in love with Apple cranberry.. Chicken.. Gorgonzola cheese ... Walnut Salad at Wendy's in Utah. I vowed to eat it whenever there is a Wendy's in sight (on long drives, when fast food is fair game). Not so much, said Wendy's in Newport Beach. And, they do not keep dried craberries and candied walnuts in stock, I guess, cause nobody offered to make me my salad. The manager offered that they are probably "rolling out new menu items". I guess the rolling starts on the east coast? It's a damn tragedy is what that is.

3. McDonalds is now charging for sauce? Butter my butt and call me a biscuit.

Listen. I was all types of on board when they stopped stocking barrels of ketchup packets out in the lobby. Even if it thwarts my camping condiment preparation (KFC has butter packets that go seriously well with mashed potatoes. Couple half and half creamers from a gas station, the liquid kind, and it's out of this world.).
But, I was supportive. Be good, be green, McDonalds, yay. But they have crossed the line.

Mr Snork orders his sad little sandwiches plain - no mayo, no tomato (which I hear got crop-screwed this year) - and with BBQ sauce. Which now costs extra. Seriously? Spring for a giant bottle, McD, and keep it chained to the counter.

I don't even know what they cost, cause we didn't get to that point - I traded in one of my Honey Mustards (as a 10 piece chicken nugget haver, I am rationed 2 sauces, per giant plastic sign) for a BBQ. You'll be relieved to know that half a container of Honey M is enough for 10 McNuggets, although I pluck off 90% of the batter, so it reduces the surface area. But price isn't the issue. It's Mr Snork ordering his sad little vegetable-less chicken sandwhich, on the 6th hour of our drive (when we've run out of word games, gossip, weekend recap, and taking turns googling stuff on our phones) and having to go into this whole "are you sure you want sauce, cause it costs extra" deal.

Ok, so now that I've typed it out may be it doesn't sound like a huge deal, but it's a 12 out of 10 on the annoying scale. Yeah, I want my sauce on his sad little sandwhich. I also want my 10c worth of tomato and .02c worth of Mayo refunded, thanks.

Speaking of stocking up on camping condiments, do you remember when KFC (in addition to the delicious butter packets) had honey packets? They went well with camp tea. Well, I noticed the other day that my chicken in puddle of honey tasted like crap - and - another dream shattered - it turns out the honey is now "Colonel's Honey Sauce". It's mostly High Fructose Corn Crap, with sugar, and more corn syrup, and coloring, that at one point laid next to a jar of honey before getting shipped out. You have made me sad, Colonel. I want the honey back. With little bees on packets and everything.

Sigh.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

I think I will.

2010-05-25T17:16:00.000-07:00

If the Future Mr Snork and I decided, spur of the moment, to keep our initial (but unmaterializable for many reasons, like, say, our lack of planning) date of 21.v.10, and, say, ran to the court house on our lunch hour to get a license, and sweet talked our hairdresser, whom we once overheard saying was an officiant, because he's preparing to conduct the marriage ceremony for his best friend in July, into marrying us, despite the fact that he already had friday night plans that did not include our lack of planning, and ran to the beach after work on Friday night, AND if we could also sweet talk a Giraffy into running down to same beach, after work, to take pictures, it would look something like this:

But, you say, where might you get such pretty flowers, running after work to the beach (stopping by to pick up mini-giraffys, since there was no way adult giraffy could make it to two places at once)?

A thoughtful Giraffy might show up with some. Pink ribbon, and sweet pea smell. She must have remembered me sniffing every sweet pea bunch at the Farmers Market on Saturdays and falling all over them.

If any such thing happened. Which, of course, is craziness, because we are about to send out invitations for a September wedding. *shifty eyes*.

Chandeliers and Trickery and How I'm Always Right

2010-05-19T16:01:00.000-07:00

So, while I was milling about the courtyard #3 of the Giant Rummage Sale, waiting for Jesse to come join me in rummaging, I spotted the dusty mini chandelier.

The guy in charge of courtyard #3 kept offering to 'work with me on prices', and I was simply curious if I could get the dusty chandelier for $5, as opposed to $10. Knowing full well Jesse has an aversion to chandeliers, even the free ones. Turned out I could have it for $5 so I quickly handed him the money, and when the the future Mr SnorkMaiden f i n a l l y got there, I asked him non chalantly what he thought of that cute little chandelier, over there, on the table (in the 'sold' goods section, but he's not very observant like that).

That's when I, the guy in charge of courtyard #3 and innocent shoppers nearby got an earful. About how:

- Nobody needs a chandelier
- I certainly don't need a chandelier
- I certainly don't need another chandelier (The first one doesn't count btw, my stepmom gave it to us)
- Am I trying to live on the set of Sanford and Son?
- Am I serious?
- A demand to hear a list of three things that can be taken OUT of the house before this one can be brought in (not even fair, I mean, the lamp takes up one square foot..)
- Where in the world would I hang it.
- And, finally, about how he's about to have to staple furniture to the ceiling to have any kind of walking space (dirty lies) so, there won't be any room for chandeliers anyway (wild exaggerations).

At this point I figured everyone has had enough laughs, so I picked up my chandelier indignantly, informed him it was already paid for, and that he'd have to finish his meltdown at home, thanks. (To his credit, he resigned quietly, and offered to take it to the truck, probably hoping to 'accidentally' drop it a few times en route)

I washed it, and took it apart, and gave the crystals a Dawn bath. I started to spray paint it green (bad idea) so, I finished it in black. White/ivory might have also been cool, but I had green and black on hand, so black it was. It came out exquisite. It's missing a few crystals, but in all the sparkle-ness, you can't really tell.

I could not find a setting on my camera that would take a picture of it, the way the Swarovski Chandelier Place down the street has them in their brochures, sigh. But it's pretty magical. Jesse apparently worked through his grief while he was wiring it, and while I was off drinking margaritas with Giraffy, he hung it up for me in our hallway. Yeep! On top of that, when I got home he conceded that it wasn't the worst $5 purchase I'd ever made. Ha!

Would you like to follow me through the 80 million chandelier pictures, that depict 1/10th of its sparkle-ness? Of course, you do. Meet my hallway:

And a close up?

And a different light setting, in case you haven't really fallen over just yet: (Note the sparkly-ness)

It's even pretty when it's not lit up:

Ok, last one.

I have a 4g memory card full of these, if anybody needs a myriad chandelier pictures, btw. I'm also on the market for a cooler camera that can capture sparkling better. Don't tell Jesse.

Rummage Saling.

2010-05-18T11:17:00.000-07:00

Gr. I can't format this post right at all...

I have previously stayed away from rummage sales, because the word 'rummage' is kind of unattractive as is the mental image it conjures up. Not that 'dumpstering' is a better word, but my 8 year old sister made it up, so it's cute. Rummage is not. Then I read on Moderate Means how she went to one, and even got free stuff, and I'd hate to think there are free things being handed out somewhere without me present. That just wouldn't be fair.

Actually, I went to TWO rummage sales (the churches were practically next to each other, and couple blocks from my work) a couple times, because I felt that the future Mr Snork should experience it as well, and there was a half off day the next day. How can you not??

It was terrible. They had, like 2 halls and 3 courtyards full of stuff. There was a rack of fur coats ($175-$500). A rack of them, not just the scraggly one or two. We live in SoCal, by the way. I asked the stern volunteer lady where they got their stuff, and was sternly informed it is all donated.

There was a whole 'designer' clothing and shoes section, in addition to the Hall of Clothes and Courtyard of Shoes. I saw 12 pairs of skis. I asked where all this stuff goes when it doesn't sell - seriously - who buys fur coats in SoCal - and was sternly told it is either donated to S-Boutique, or various charities. Pretty cool. I picture a fireplace at a children's ministry somewhere with a cozy rabbit fur rug, for children to sit and read books on, courtesy of rummage sale fur coat donations.

I was slightly obsessed with this $10 chair. The fabric is ugly, probably original. I don't even like mid century modern stuff (except my awesome chairs) but I like the lines. And the fact that I could change the cushions to the Alexander Henry fabric I've been dreaming about. And then I could probably resell it. On the downside, I have two danish modern tables in garage I'm supposed to be refinishing. Jesse is getting suspicious over my intent with those.

I know, I already have a wedding dress.

But may be this one could be like an artsy photo project?

Or may be I could use it in case Jesse and I decided to secretly elope before the actual wedding.

Plus, once the wedding is done with, I probably can't keep shopping for wedding dresses, so I may as well, yes?

See how I added a shawl for a belt there? Artsy in progress. $10

I am not sure what this is, but look at the colors! And, they're dancing! It's on a piece of fabric and it's signed. ..Marcot? My dad really likes tribal stuff, so I thought he'd enjoy it if my mom lets him hang it on a wall. Ha. $2.50

This $5 chandelier deserves a post of its own. Don't let its dustyness fool you.

There was also photo/history book about Soviet Union, 3 patterns for 10c each, a $1 ziplock baggy of plastic indians that my dad collects, and a very very soft cashmere blazer for the future Mr Snork. He looks and feels like a very soft kitten in it, and it pleases me.

The Things I Didn't Get But Eyeballed Gallery:

I want to hug and hold anything with ball and claw feet. Literally. If Ikea started attaching wood ball and claw feet to their fake wood stuff, I'd probably be all over it. May be if I hadn't drug home a ball and claw alley table that one time.. I could have gotten this one. (The alley table that I'm supposed to refinish is still utouched in garage. Sigh)

Another awesome chair to feed my chair obsession. No balls or claws, but almost. And the flowers. !!

I wanted this kind of badly, it's got the original tapestry seat under the needlepoint fruit. Note the tiny ball and claw feet. And, it's practically a chair, which explains the magnetic pull it had. When I came back the half off day (that would make $7.50) it was gone. Jesse did a little dance. Sigh. So much potential..

It's not quite as cool as the Amish Cat I stalked at a San Clemente thrift shop, but it has cool potential.

I also ate a jar of cookies this weekend, and accompanied Giraffy to Farmer's Market, so it wasn't ALL running around, rummaging and taking pictures, just so you know.

Gateway Fabrics and Misc Salvation Army Weaknesses.

2010-05-14T16:52:00.000-07:00

Firstly, and most importantly, Giraffy and I ran/walked our 3 miles yesterday, with a quicker pace. Because we're rockstars.

Prior to that, Future Mr Snork and I dropped into the S-Boutique, having made a 'do not buy anything' pact in the parking lot. Because we must be stopped. Or I must up my Ebay-ing.

It doesn't help that we've made friends there, and my haggling is well received and successful. So, pact and all, for a grand damage total of $16:

- Jesse's green suit jacket. It appears it is unworn, cause that's how Jesse likes them. By Oscar De La Renta. At 6.99, it was the most expensive item. He's not very good at the haggling thing. Sucker.

- Body shop wax/oil melter/sniffy thingy. I used to have one, and it broke, and I have had wax tarts from BlueBonnet Trails for a while now, with no melter. .34c.

- A new roll of white sparkly swirly ribbon. I wrap presents with these and do not enjoy paying $2.49 or $3.99 or whatever. So, I stock up when I can. I'm particular to new rolls though. .34c

- Snakeskin print jersey type fabric. I see a tank top in my future. Or a tube top, scrunched up.

I was torn about this fabric, on one hand it's really bright and obnoxious, and on the other, it's kinda beautiful. I ended up getting it, figuring I'll make a garment bag out of it or something if it overwhelms me. When I got home and looked up Alexander Henry fabrics, I felt a little faint:

I want to wrap myself in

Nay. I want to wrap myself in it, and upholster all my furniture in it (comes with white and blue backgrounds also). I don't think my life will be same until I get some. I need to find his stuff on clearance somewhere though, he's not a cheap dude. He is, however, awesome, and his other fabric is just as exquisite. I'm hoping someone will dump a load of it into a local S-Boutique, where I can pick it up for $1.50. It can happen again, right?

S-Boutique is cheap, but sometimes it leads to expensive habits. They should put that on their daily sale signs. Yesterday afternoon I had no idea about bright birds and Alexander Henry, and it would have probably been cheaper to keep it that way.

Also, and just because they happenned to be behind counter when I checked out, and I'm weak like that - not one, but two clutch purses. Sigh. The Boutique chick practilly threw them at me.

The white Philippe purse has a cool open/close hinged thingy. And I really don't have a white purse yet. I found a red version on Ebay I also kind of want, but can probably do without.

The other one is a brown leather clutch of unknown origin. "ML" on the zipper chain? But soft. And pretty. And also $2.75. I've been meaning to become the kind of person who changes purses daily, instead of toting around a Giant Soccer Mom Purse of The Month monstrosity everywhere. (Must fit thermos, camera, snacks, an occasional sandwich, etc..). Perhaps now is the time?

Things that I wanted but didn't get (Jesse dug his heels in):

Pine tree candle holders. With cute tiny little stars. He's lucky X-mas is far away and I have months and months of scheming.

Snifters and Centerpieces

2010-05-12T14:49:00.000-07:00

Sometime last week, the Salvation Army I stalk by my work turned up a set of 8 of these snifter looking things.

They could be goblets but I like saying snifter. They had Crate and Barrel stickies, but when I searched with Crate and Barrel, this line (handcrafted recycled glass awesomeness) doesn’t have snifters. May be old? May be not Crate and Barrel? They have margarita glasses, tumblers, a pitcher and goblets that match. But no snifters. Well. They DO have the snifters in a green color:

They call it Summer Drink Glass, but I really do like the word Snifter. Mr Snork's dismay (they are kind of giant for drinking vessels) I brought them home. I bargained a little, because it’s not my fault it wasn’t a Bric-a-Brac sale day, and Jesse was already shaking his head, not as much at the $2.75/ea price tags, as much as at the thought of housing the fishbowls in our cupboards. $14 took them home ($1.75 ea). Pricy!

My thought was – to use them as centerpiece thingy for the upcoming reception Party. Fill them with pebbles and seashells and float a candle on top? Little bunches of flowers? Googling "snifter centerpiece" turned up these:

I KNEW I should have gotten the adjacent floating candles that day. Sigh. Jesse's vehemently opposed to the idea of live goldfish, tiny frogs, or little mice livening up my 'centerpieces', so I have to dream in confines of his restricted imagination. Sigh. Lizards would also be cool. How often can you dine and watch a tiny lizard twirl in a snifter? Like, once in your lifetime, right?

I also like the more traditional idea of stuffing them with flowers and/or enjoying margaritas from them meanwhile, before and after the Party. Jesse’s hoping they get taken by guests after the party or accidentally broken. We’re often on different pages like that.

I wrapped them and set them aside for now, keeping out a couple out to 'practice flower arranging'. Or lizard taming, if I win that battle. I have read up onine that you can make the flowers the day before and store in refrigerator, which I have. Win. All that's left is a trip to Trader Joe's/Farmer's Market and a set of large scissors to cut the bouquets snifter-short.

Snifter. Snifter. Snifter. There, I'm done now..

Risky Fashion, Thrift Shop Thwartage and Stalkage

2010-05-11T17:51:00.000-07:00

We switched it up this weekend and kept busy mornings with riding and disc golf, so the thrifting frolicking was limited to a couple quick stop at San Clemente's La Tienda Thrift Shop and Garden Grove G-Mart. Can you say sparkly?

Yeah. That's right.

I told myself if it was under $3, I'd get it for shock value and to wear for New Years. EVERY New Year. And may be for Halloween, when I want to go as the Disco Ball. It's a Robert Ribkoff cardigan, (he's somebody fancy!) in silver, with silver sequins, all scrunched up.

And, I'm a little hesitatant to post this, but, how do we feel about shortalls?

With boots? And a belt? Or no belt? I know, the overwhelming opinion is probably "no shortalls", but it's too late. $5 got them AND the cardigan, and some unsuspecting public, somewhere, soon is going to be subjected to me wearing shortalls. Brought to you by Chip and Pepper (Jesse and Google told me they're somebody, so I did a little brand whoring unknowingly).

The side view is decidedly less farmer like. You know, cause it looks like shorts. May I'll just scoot up to people sideways when I wear it. And wear it I will. I also figure if I can't ever bring myself to leave the house in either the Disco Ball Shirt or the shorticals, I can Ebay them.

There was also the most amazing vintage cat, wooden, the kind you pull, and it rolls, and the little paws move.. But this little kid had it, and wouldn't give it up. I heard his mother say he could have anything if he behaved (awesome tactic, BTW, I mean, you're at a thrift shop, you could let your kid clear out the ENTIRE toy shelf and be out $20). I suggested Jesse go distract his mother while I snuck up on him from behind the dishes rack and snatched the cat, but Jesse reasoned sensibly (ugh) that it would be frowned up.

So, I left sulking, but called later -super creepy stalker like - to find out if they sold a wooden cat to a little blond boy -and!- the cat might still be there. Ha. May be he didn't behave well enough after all! Another trip is in order. In a related story, I am the sort of person who bargains at thrift shops, creeps behind small children, and calls obsessively afterwards stalking a 40 year old wooden toy I have no business buying in the first place. I know this. I am working through it.

Finally, at a Garden Grove G-Mart (My favorite!) I got seriously thwarted. As I was trying Jesse to try on a Banana Republic shirt that he thought was hideous and that I thought was a beautiful, attractive, sexy purple, I saw this woman's cart - full of dresses. New dresses, with tags. I'm sure they were all my size. There was one I was a little determined to snatch out of her cart while she was on her phone (it's a theme, I know, I need therapy) but she got off the phone and eyeballed me disapprovingly eyeballing her cart before taking off towards the registers. Gr. Seriously, a full cart of Macy's tags. What is she going to do with all those dresses? So, of course, by the time I made it to the dress rack, there was nothing there for me. I'm convinced it was that chick's fault.

Jesse finally agreed to one of my offerings/picks, a different Banana Republic shirt,

with a lot less (none) purple, so I left him alone to brand whore for random Brooks Brothers blazers and the like, and over by the linens/dishes I found

1. An old Bavarian plate. 49c. Love!

2. A bin of fabrics, By The Bolt, $5.99 O.M.G.

I always read jealously about people making muslin mock ups of their patterns, but I've always been too cheap to buy said muslin. I mean, even at $1.99/yd - which it wasn't - it adds up. I now have several kilometers of this stuff. I can cut out patterns, write on it, modify, cut more, fail, try again, rinse, repeat, like 80,000 times. I can even try to make my own patterns.

The second bolt wasn't quite as large, but there's quite a bit of fabric on there - may 15 yards - possibly more - dark red raw silk. Need I say more. Can you have too many dresses made out of raw silk? I don't think so, but I will find out.

Aebleskivers!!

2010-05-10T23:15:00.000-07:00

Sometimes they start out OK:

And then it all goes wrong. Like when you use your new (but old) cast iron pan, but it's not really seasoned, but you think it'll be ok, cause you put some oil on it:

May be if I covered them in enough powdered sugar?

Nope. They're pretty messed up.

And they defiled my 'new vintage' pan:

Not to mention Jesse's laughter and taunting, because the whole reason I wanted the 'old new' pan, was because I claimed it would stick less than my existing Lodge, which has been known to produce perfectly spherical pancakes.

Take 2, after coating pan in oil head to toe and heating in oven for a few hours. 4 hours at 400'F produced a nice hard coat, not sticky. Upped the butter content as well.

Ha!! (Going conservative this time, in case it goes poorly again).

And a 3/4 turn..

And, spherical pancakes!!

A whole pan of them, even:

Never mind the batter bits, those aren't stuck and will come right off, I got a little ladle happy.

They are supposed to be coated with powdered sugar, but Jesse has a nasty Orange Crush + Reese's Peanut Butter cups habit he can't seem to break, and he's therefore denied sugar in the house.

Jesse likes the ones that aren't fully closed, he stuffs them with lingonberry preserves. I like to inject mine with whipped cream. They're kind of like pancakes, but lighter, and airy-er. Success!!!

Shoes & Belts, Mickey and Aebleskivers

2010-05-07T09:15:00.000-07:00

It was buried in a big Tupperware bin of belts that I dove into and busied myself with. From Brighton and Disney, crocodile printed, my sized Mickey and Minnie?! In a train!

With Pluto and the Duck, either Donald or Daffy, I’m not good with names. The belt part itself is a little ratty, it's a very tired crocodile. But how could I not.

But I wore it to work today, and it got lots of compliments and managed to stay intact. Win!

There’s a husband/wife leather shop in Laguna Beach I really like (LagunaLeather), I called and inquired about new belts - $40 to make one. So, I guess that could be an option. In a purple crocodile print, yes?

Same bin featured another Brighton belt, looky like brand new, and an older leather Spanish made belt that I just thought looked cool. 3 belts $2.75 each. Normally $3.75, but it WAS a sale day for belts. Ha.

The kitchen department was a bit of a fail, since I own 500 lbs in cast iron, and I really should own a couple pans only, so I can cook on them all the time and keep them seasoned. (But Jesse thought we might need a chicken fryer, a wok, a brownie pan, and several others. So, he started it.)

It's a cast iron Griswold aebleskiver pan. (Don't think it was cooked on, but it ain't rusty either like some Ebay beauties). I actually have a Lodge one, but the older pans like Griswold were machined smooth back in the day. I guess it’s too expensive to do anymore, and the current cast iron, for the most part is a little grainy. Which typically isn’t a problem, but this is an Aebleskiver pan - they are spherical pancakes that you turn as they cook, so batter pours out and forms a ball. This turning happens with a knitting needle, a skewer, or a chopstick, there are some YouTube videos of it happening.

So, here’s where the smooth surface comes in – if the batter sticks at all to the pan, it won’t turn, the batter won’t pour out, and it becomes a mess. I've seen it happen:

That middle aebleskiver didn't wanna turn.. :(

It's a pain in the butt to wash, too. I'm being a little dramatic, since I've actually made perfectly successful batches of 'skivers on my 'grainy' pan. And I actually prefer the way it looks. But, apparently I couldn't walk away from a $3.75 Griswold. So, I now have two aebleskiver pans, and I have a feeling Jesse will make me get rid of one. There’s a very short section in my address book of people who make Aebleskivers. Extremely short. Non existent, one might say. May be I'll poach eggs in one of them WHILE I flip aebleskivers in the other.

Jesse skipped away pretty excited despite a new 10lb kitchen addition, because he found these at a neighboring G-Mart:

They were brand new, $12, and his size. When does that ever happen? He promptly looked them up online, because it’s always exciting to find out how much stuff costs in real life, and feel like you saved some money, and spent some time last night polishing them. The "after" :

Yes, those are shoes on our dining table. I guess he was really fond of them. I was a little jealous, and looked through shoe racks I usually avoid, but no new shoes were waiting to get adopted. I found a cute green Rampage top and called it a day.

5k Badassery

2010-05-06T10:14:00.000-07:00

Giraffy and I did 3 miles last night, on the official June Corona Del Mar 5k course (hills and all). Our time was 3 minutes better than last time. Ha. So was our moving average.

Last year, giraffy and I used to do .5 mile on the elliptical and collapse into a hot tub with a beer, completely worn out, saying unflattering things about ellipticals, treadmills, and their relatives. We also did pretty slow and leaisurely walks on the peninsula, followed by a local serving establishment. I don't recall breaking much of a sweat ever. Except the one time, when we walked in the sand - then the sweating freaked us out and we immediately turned back, having only gone may be 1/4 mile past the beer.

We stepped it up with gym visits this year, and a really modified, relaxed 'Couch to 5K' program. Walk 90 seconds, run 30, swear a little while walking 90 seconds, rinse, repeat.

Now we meet to run practice 5k's. I'm so pleased and proud of us. Gym buddy system WIN! Yesterday we alternated walking and running a block. I think next week we'll try alternating running 2 blocks, walking one. I'll spring it on Giraffy and see how it pans out. Ha.

The significant others took off in a flurry of heels, and Mr Snork was last seen with a vicious calf/hamstring cramp combination (two different legs), and talking about Mr Giraffy "bouncing like Tigger". Haaa.

Butterick 4790 - Walkaway Dress - Complete and Tested.

2010-05-04T22:13:00.000-07:00

I wore the finished Walkaway dress to work Monday - it hasn’t fallen apart, and I haven’t noticed any sideways stares. Score. A few people even said nice things about it, and I'm not counting the co-workers who knew I was playing home made that day, and felt obligated to say someting nice, to prevent office awkwardness.

I am pretty pleased with it. In retrospect, I may have gone with a milder fabric choice. Giraffy shared that it would be good for upholstering pillows. I told her SHE was a pillow.. but, in reality, a screaming bright orange is probably best for sundresses and sheaths, and not fluffy 50’s half gowns. Hard to blend in at your local Flame Broiler at lunch time.

It took me 4- 5 days, a lot of the time spent staring at it and ripping stitches because I am too lazy to baste, but not good enough to not have to baste.

Surprisinly, it doesn’t do any of the nasty things it’s accused of doing by most people – the front doesn’t ride up, and the shoulder seams appear to stay put. There *is* a gaping armhole issue, for which I have read people put in snaps. I thought about trying to dart the sides a bit, but this will require removing bias tape. Yeghkh. The front bit fits really well, though.

I cut the shoulders narrower and neckline smaller, preemptively, since that was people’s biggest gripe.

I also went back and made the bust darts twice as deep, so the chest area didn’t gape awkwardly.

Made the skirt a half circle + couple inches darted in back. I think the way the bias lays in the half circle as opposed to full circle made the hip/butt area much nicer than full circle had. It also cut the weight of the back wrap piece. I really like the way the skirt turned out.

Made my own (not so straight, sigh) version of bias tape for the skirt front(s).

I cut the front pieces of the orange fabric lower, because I didn’t like the ‘girdle’ look it gave me when fastened high across waist.

Lastly, I ran a piece of cross grain ribbon as the belt – and stitched it to the inside of the skirt at the waist seam, which probably helps it stay at the waist where it ought.

See? I'm outside. I took it public. I ain't ashamed. :D

I can walk, sit, get in and out of the car in it, etc. The back is not entirely smooth, but I'm not sure how ti fix that. I'm really pleased with it, and might try it again with a different fabric - jersey may be?

Stampin Up! and Picking up Hobbies in Driveways.

2010-05-02T23:51:00.000-07:00

I woke up late Saturday, and just rolled out of bed early enough (10:30) to meet Giraffy at the Irvine Farmers Market - which deserves a post of its own. But, there went my plans to frolic garage sales and look for old sewing patterns, which is a tragedy that must be fixed. After all, last weekend was camping in Utah, and nobody holds garage sales in the desert sand dunes, so, I'm having withdrawals.

We got up at 6:30 (a new record) because somebody advertised an antique sewing machine - and, logically - where there's a sewing machine, there's a larg(er) chance of sewing pattterns. Jesse doctored me up a thermos of tea (with lemon and fresh mint leaves from the Awesome Farmer's Market), stopped for a Starbucks for himself, because he claims their mochas can not be replicated in a home environment, and I can't argue because he makes me thermoses of tea at 6 am.. and off we went.

The antique sewing machine didn't come with patterns, but there was a black top and jjill skirt I fancied (and dragged home for a $1) as well as some pin striped Gap wool slacks. They're beautiful, and I can't limit my wardrobe just because the weather in SoCal does not cooperate with my wool/suede/leather obsession. Not when it's hung in front of me for a $1, anyway. Plus, we visit my mom in Chicago fairly often.

We were off to the next place, where 'antique' stuff looked promising - I like old sewing patterns, and old things tend to hang out together, and antique and old are often interchangeable, especially where CL garage sales ads are concerned, so, again, promising. I never found out, though, and will have to live another week with my current stash of patterns (and since currently I make one dress every 27 years, this shouldn't be a problem). What I DID find, though, was a lady selling parts of her giant and awesome stamp collection.

Do I stamp? Nope. I own some stamps, because I've always wanted to, in the same way I own a guitar and two surfboards. It's a pretty small collection of 5-6 items that Michael's Dollar Bin had to offer. But this chick had, like, cases of stuff. Two boxes, and a table, and a tower thingy. Jesse went to look through the electronics box, and I didn't look up for 15 minutes.

I n t r o d u c i n g.. my new hobby :

I started out with half that, but ended up going back. So many colors. Flowers. Bubbles. Must. Look. Again. When we came back, I mentioned that I was going to make my own wedding invitations, and I was nosing around for flowery things that would go with the theme. C, the owner of all the awesomeness offered to look through her 'upstairs stash' of wedding specific stuff. And we did. And she let me pick some out.

I love the 'going to the chapel' stamp! Yeep!

"C" makes cards and they were pretty amazing. The kind of cards you see in little boutiques, I wish I had gotten a couple or at least have taken a picture. They were adorable and so well made and pretty.. I did, take her phone number though. She mentioned getting together to may be watch her make cards, so I was pretty stoked. But, it could have been, like a, "OMG, get out of my driveway already, what ELSE do you want" kinda of thing. Hard saying. Still, stoked.

My first handmade stamp card!

After a little while, I moved on from paper.

I've had a collection of sand dollars from NorCal's sand dollar beach sunning on my porch for a while now.

May be I could just send sand dollars as invites? Might require bubble wrap..

I kinda wanna go back and see what other stuff she has I may have missed. Is that bad?

Jesse walked away with a little Ipod speaker thing that he's been looking for camping (falling asleep to tent music? Yes!!)

It appears that it's in good working order, he was dancing along to some obnoxious 50 cent songs in the garage today, moving stuff around. Camping AND garage speakers. Score. And some headphones. $2. I love that he can hang out with a box of electronics and driveway scenery the time it takes me to space out at shiny things, tour somebody's home, and find more things (that weren't even for sale) to drag home and play with. I think I got lucky with him. I mentioned the thermos of tea, right?

Sewing pattern fail. But then I remembered how I scored this for 10c in a driveway couple weeks ago, and it all became OK.

I might sacrifice a few of Jesse old shirts for this one. Blue? Pin Stripe? That is, if tomorrow's Walkaway Dress Debut goes well at work. If not, I'll call "C", get some stamping tips and forget this sewing thing ever happened. Hee.

Camping Hair a Success, Must Collect Bacon Grease (unrelated to hair)

2010-04-28T16:19:00.000-07:00

Just like I thought, it was being sneaky and I woke up Thursday morning feeling faintly waxy. I mentally resolved to chop it all off at camp after the first bike ride. Then I proceeded to sleep 2-3 hours while Jesse drove, since the 5am roads hold nothing for me but a bad mood.

However, by the time we drove a couple hundred miles into Utah, and past a Starbucks, I softened up, and as Jesse was ordering out lunch from Wendy's, I grabbed a handful of those lemons they have (for water, presumably) and squeezed them liberally all over my hair. Then I packed some more lemons into a plastic baggy (for camp tea) along with plastic utensils (Thanks, Wendy's!) and spent some time in the bathroom splashing water on my hair, in a rinsing-combing through combo under some pretty unimpressed glares. They don't know what it's like. Desperate times.

I figured, if it continued to melt down, I had time and a couple more towns with fast food restaurants before the official Middle of Nowhere to barricade myself in the bathroom and squirt hand soap liberally all over my hair (the offical No Poo Fail) before reaching camp and no running water.

It must have been intimidated into submission, or it likes lemon. Either way, it behaved beautifully Thu, Fri, Sat, and Sunday, and if it wasn't for dust/bugs/ashes, I could have rolled with it Monday.

Key points:
1. No Poo Win.
2. Hair might like rinses.

I keep the Hair bound up in Buffs when we camp and ride.

It goes under my helmet and stretches over my neck for riding (I have a bug phobia, and a perpetual fear one will drop down my shirt when riding), and the rest of the time, and since the helmet wrecks my bangs into a sideways mohawk, it's a headband. Or an eyepatch, when I'm not sure if I have a scrap of contact lens stuck in my eyelid, or if I've finally rubbed a scab into the inside of my eyelid (piece of contact lens, it turned out). It prevent windblown hair mess, and more importantly, horrible things like getting hair caught in the bike chain??! The things you read on the internet...

The Buff and I enjoying a day old pork chop:

The Buff and I resting:

I must not have a picture of where it's pulled over my head, tube like, with a face opening. Not very attractive, anyway. Effective for bug control. I also have a wool one. So. Rad.

Oh. I also used Dr Bronner Magic soap on the camp dishes, during camp "showers", and Jesse used it to semi-effectively rid his hands of the gasoline smell. That happens, when you spend all night stuffing gas into beer bottles and making makeshift bombs.

In a semi related story - some girls came over from a campsite over, and dropped some knowledge on me. APPARENTLY - if you collect bacon grease into a tin can, and then heat that can over fire till it burns purple, and then spear a water bottle onto the end of a LONG (key) stick, and dump water into grease, you can achieve a 20 foot high grease fire. I am ALL OVER bacon grease for the next 6 months.

Camping Chronicles, Hair Suspicious-ness.

2010-04-22T00:09:00.000-07:00

I'm in the car moving fast toward Moab, UT (stopping in Vegas for the 5 hour night) and all I can think about is my hair.

It was being atrocious, on and off. This last time, it was really magical. Giraffy has taken to rubbing her head with an intriguing mixture of honey and baking soda (I've tried both separately and the experiences has given me very little faith in their teamwork, but she loves it so far), so she offered for me to try the Peppermint Shampoo bar from BlueBonnet Trails, I have been using random bits of soap, like it, and mostly Dr Bronner's. At the height of madness I went out and got Dr Bronners Magic Rinse, which I'm undecided on. I think it might be a splash too oily for my thin, limp hairycles. But it's also a little magical. And expensive. But as a short term "fix", it worked - I'll do oily before waxy any day.
Anyway, the bar, last friday, and it was all pinkness and fluffyness. (Granted + diluted rinse). It's soft, nice, clean, NON waxy, and has lasted 4 good days, started getting oily today, but still very wearble. Then again, the waxy has r e a l l y lowered the bar, but I think its pretty great.
And now, I'm freaking out - we're going camping, which was 80% reason for starting 'no poo'. I got some liquid Bronner (for hair, body, and dishes) and the Plan is to wash tonight and make it till sunday. It's cold in Utah right now. I have washed my hair out of a precariously balanced jug on my tailgate before in 20' and it ain't pretty.
I think I can hear it conspiring. I will wake up tomorrow, at 5am, for the 6 hour drive, and it will be a giant clump of wax. I didn't pack the magic rinse, either. Trying to really pare down this trip, we always have enough stuff to form a permanent settlement out in desert. Anyway. I have vision of waxy helmet head (if I can pry helmet off). I think it lulled me into false hope and is waiting to strike at my weakest. I have very, very little faith in it behaving. It has officially made me crazy.

But I see Vegas lights! :D

(By the way, we're not staying in Bellagio. We're staying at Econolodge, where they let us back truck to window, and jesse can sleep with a firearm pointed at the window, lest someone rattle one of the 19 chains we got running through our bikes and gear. But, Bellagio does look pretty. Ha)
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Walkaway Dress, continued.

2010-04-21T11:57:00.000-07:00

So, I measured Nora, and she matched my measurements on the shoulders, and boobs. The waist is within an inch. Hips are smaller by 1.5". And yet, dress on Nora is not the same as dress on me:

Why does the boob area take a vertical shrink? Anyway. It's all very girdle like.

I am supposed to be getting ready for a camping trip and leaving for Utah tonight, so I had limited time. I had Jesse pin up the shoulders, in a fashion that produced least gaping and puckering in the back, and I cut into the front, to lower it.

This way, a dress on Nora is still not the same as dress on me, but I think the lowered front looks better? I chopped two inches off the top of the front in cetner, curving out to sides. It must be the 3 slices of pineapple pizza, in my stomach they're eating up all the slack. Again, consult Nora and me. WTF. Any lower, and Nora's unmentionables would be bared, but on me, I'd probably be above belly button. I must remeasure Nora, somewhere an extra 6 inches have snuck in. I am feeling very stumpy-torso-ed.

To achieve the look on the pattern front picture, looks like front might need even more chopping:

To be continued..

Butterick 4790 (6015) Walkaway Dress Part 1

2010-04-19T17:01:00.000-07:00

I got the pattern (finally!) this weekend, rummaging through the unopened stock boxes in the back of JoAnns, and it's supposed to be super cool because you're meant to start it after breakfast and 'walk away in it to lunch". I started after lunch, and could have possibly walked away in it to dinner, if the neighbor didn't text about a party she was having. Even though I left early, it appears I can not sew a straight line after 4 jello shots, (jello shots. true story) so it is no longer a one day dress.

I was trying very hard to use up some fabrics in my stash (of random clearance fabrics, garage sale finds, things that possibly used to be drapes, etc). But I needed two fabrics that went well together, which is hard when you shop by colour, pattern, and shock value.

JoAnn's had:

and

I just about fell over at the sight of bright pink, yellow, orange and red, all splashed about liberally. I spent a considerable amount of time spacing out and staring at the flowers, to see if I could match the pattern at the center back seam of the circle skirt. May be if JoAnn's bolt didn't run out 20" too short, I could have. No matter, though, because currently pinned to Nora, it appears I will need to make it a half circle skirt. It is a lot of skirt as it is currently. I could seriously sneak small children into movie theaters for free with that thing.

It's not put together yet, everything is held to Nora by pins. So far I have done the front (black) piece, all darted, and it all goes poorly, it might make a nice dress all by itself. If I make a back for it.

The back top and bottom/front orange skirt are two pieces that I pinned on. I could manage the pinning on jello shots.

I also read the 30 reviews on PatternReview.com, and I am now sufficiently intimidated. It appears that you need either stellar sewing skills, or boobs to pull off this dress.  As it usually goes, I have neither.

Stellar sewing skills come in handy for the million alteration this pattern (apparently) needs. I don't know, it looks OK on Nora. I have made the shoulders narrower and higher, preemptively, since everyone on the internet who's made one before me has had to do this.

The boobs come in handy, because, in the apron-like construction of the dress, the front is a small sheath thing, and the back is a giant circle skirt, which wraps around to the front and weighs most of the 4.5 yards of fabric that this dress requires. So, the back, I hear pulls on the front, making it ride up. Unless you have boobs, which fit into the darts on the front, and I don't know.. weigh down the waist? As non haver of boobs, it's hard to speculate as to what they might do. But, it is commonly accepted by people who have made this dress, that having them is good for this dress.

I plan to:

1. Make the back a half circle skirt, and if it's unwearable, I will flare out the front, as well, giving it more weight, and room for knees. Also, I saw on somebody's blog.. which I can't find now, a version of the dress with the wide contrast hem at the bottom, so I think, 4" black hem at bottom.

or

2. Keep full circle, still flare the front, and cut both skirts to about knee length. + the above hem.

or

3. Keep it as is, and only wear it in house, like, when entertaining guests. That way, if it's gaping, a little indecent and funny looking, I'm surrounded by kind and gentle people who will tactfully ignore it.

I'm also thinking a ridiculous petticoat might enhance any and all of these options. I have seen these at thrift shops, thinking how sad it was I had nothing to wear over one.

I'm a little torn about altering the skirt.  Making the skirt less full takes away from the 50's look, and might make it even more apron-like. But I also don't think having that much fabric around my hips is going to be a flattering look. I'll find out tonight.

I haven't sewn in a while, so I'm all types of excited. And, I get to use all the random sewing stuff I continually pick up at garage sales for next to nothing. 30 year old chalk pencils? I think I will.  Turns out they work! (I have learned the hard way, that 30 year old thread, for the most part, does NOT.)

UPDATE (Day 2). Instead of bloggying a whole new post. The dress is still not done. With the upcoming Utah trip, it might be a week dress. Oops. I spent all of yesterday evening re-cutting the skirt.

I made it a half circle skirt, so, cutting it in half. I cheated a little because I freaked out and thought it wouldn't be full enough if I chopped it in half, so, it's like a 200' skirt. Extra 20' are darted on the hips in the back. It is plenty full, still. I got that idea on a vintage sewing website I found, I hope to have their chapter on skirts memorized at some point:

The half circle skirt has grain running down the sides, which makes it fall flat on the sides, and bunch up in the middle and back. I'm not sure why, but it works. It ends up rippling uniformly all around. (I also have the extra darted fabric in back). Cutting it the way pattern indicates with full circle, the grain runs down the center front and back, causing those areas to lay flat (good thing) but bunch up on the hips (I looked like a truckload when I put it on, which is what spurred the skirt modification before the dress ever had a chance to come together). I am guessing, and with pettycoats, in the 50's they wanted the ballgown look. I'm trying to avoid it.

All the chopping at new waistline will have also brought up the hem 3" or so, which pleases me. Right side hasn't been chopped yet. I folded the front in a bit so you can see the "look". The way it hangs by itself, it looks like a solid skirt.

And the back view:

It is still a ridiculously full skirt, so I don't feel like I've completely changed the pattern. Next up is the center back. When I put it on, there's some gaping happening, everywhere. It appears if I bring up the shoulders (like all the 30 reviews said) it gets better. The waist sides and the armpits should come up, too. The armholes will need work also.

2 days and counting. Ha.

Weekend Randomness and Awesomeness

2010-04-18T01:59:00.000-07:00

I had to get up early to win some eyeshadow on Ebay.. Sounds terrible, and was. No auction should end at 4:53am PST. Jesse actually set an alarm, pulled up the auction, and woke me up 3 minutes prior to close, to see if I wanted to bid. So, I won (because I have Jesse, and because nobody else in would consider stalking Ebay at 4am, according to Jesse) and there's going to be some very bright green (Lucky Green) Mac eye stuff coming to my house this week.

I have been fascinated by YouTube makeup tutorials, to the point where my right eyeball 'area' is nearly out of comission - I had put tape across the corner of my eye, but the tape YouTube chicks use must not be my CVS bulk special, cause the tape came off, the glue didn't, and a lot of rubbing later, I have a pretty raw eyeball 'area'. Fail. More makeup experiments are postponed till eyeball heals, which works out, since Ebay shadow due to arrive later in week. I think I got close:

Purple eyeshadow on my eyebrow? Yep, all planned. It's part of the look.

Ok, so may be I failed a little. At the end, when I saw it wasn't really matching the tutorial, I got a little desperate and just started using up all the bright colors and stuff that glittered that I had. I have been washing my face with nothing but water for months, and finally, I had reason to use up a gallon of those 'free with purchase' Lancome makeup removers. But, check out that line at the outer corner. Tape, my friends.

Anyway. Since I was already up hideously early, and giraffy and I had Farmers Market plans, Jess and I scrambled to the gym for a mini 1.5 mile run/crawl. Not something I'll likely repeat. I prefer to gym in the evening, and promptly pass out. Walking around ALL day, with tired, wobbly legs is stupid. Despite what Jesse says about being energized, or whatever. He used to run before work. If, for some reason, I found myself running before work (rabid squirrel attack in the parking lot, or something) I'd call in sick. We've been training pretty regularly for an upcoming 5k, but this morning gym stuff is madness.

1.55 miles = 160 calories. Not even a Twix bar. Sigh. So much pain. So little gain. Double sigh.

Farmers Market was as magical as giraffy had advertised it. Few things are worth getting out of bed for before 10, but giant beets are. Especially when coupled with mini rum cakes, Russian tea cookies, and garlic and herb goat cheese that I can just eat with a spoon. Their vegetables and fruits were amazing, with larger sample selection that Costco (win!) and super cheap prices. I don't know what I pay at Vons for three sickly, scabby beets, but I got 3 awesome, giant ones, for $2. Giraffy also picked up some golden beets, and I'm awaiting to see what she does with them and how it goes. Her future cooking experiments aside, it's pretty awesome to go with a friend for all the 'one for $6, or 2 for $10' deals. Hello, goat cheese, at a dollar discount.

I wanted to get a bunch of the sweet pea bunches, fill a bathtub with them, and lay in it all day. I think it's the smell. There were lots of flowers. Pretty flowers, that smelled liked flowers, and so cheap. Bunches, and arrangements. I asked the guy's phone number, so I have it when time comes to decorate my after wedding party. May be I can arrange for a bathtub of sweet peas.

After the market, we were supposed to plant a vegetable garden of some sort, but giraffy panicked last minute and realized she had no plan, and it's unwise to go throw cash about Lowe's with no plan, especially when you have a track record of ruthless planticide. Instead, we lounged by the pool, got sunburned, and talked about diligently murdering plants and obsessive Ebay bidding behaviors, both of which we share. And Crocs. It appears we all. Love. Crocs.

To make the most of today, and since my legs gave out, and I was only into stationary activities, I was really hoping to finish sewing a Vogue 8552 dress I have going, all cut out and everything. (I love the giant pockets!)

But it turns out I lost all but the French version of the instructions. My knowledge of French is very casual and has nothing to do with things like "seam" or "hem", and I considered going forward, but I have seen me mess up enough plan English directions, so I headed to JoAnn's for a duplicate, which they didn't have. But. I found, going through a box that had not yet been unpacked, while Jesse muttered stuff about "rules" and "employees only", a Butterick's re-release that I'd been looking for, since summer, the 4790:

It's called the "Walkaway Dress", and it was so popular when it came out first (as #6015), that production of all patterns was halted to fill backorders on this one. Apparently, you can start this dress after breakfast, and walk away to lunch in it. I will test this tomorrow and update. Since I had to put away the pre-cut 8552, due to to foreign directions and all.

Meanwhile, and to crown the awesomeness of today, Jesse has been looking for a steamer, the type that smoothes out wool suits, not the vegetable type. His new job is all about suits, and he's picked up some beautiful suits and sport coats, that he likes.. steamed? When stuff we need comes up, as a hobby and habit we rarely run out and get it, we add it to a mental list of things to look out for while thrifting. If that fails, we try Ebay, or Craigslist, and if that fails, we discuss our retail options. We had just talked about how we hadn't seen one out and about, when the Salvation Army by JoAnns had this parked in the corner:

It was brand new, dusty, but still with plastic stickers covering surfaces, and it was the Storewide 30% off Saturday, so it came out to $8. Which is a good thing, because I read some reviews online, and the consensus seems to be, its awesome, until it dies after a couple years. But, if Jesse gets to get steamy with his jackets for a couple years and not dry clean stuff as often, it's worth $8. The 2 year countdown begins, I guess. Ha.

Backtracking.. Life's Repair

2010-04-09T17:07:00.000-07:00

The weekend is coming up, and my weekends have been full of awesomeness, that I'm completely behind on capturing. My best friend came out to visit (for the second time ever) from Chicago, on March 17th. (THAT is how far behind I am on awesomeness).

I think this about captures it all:

Laguna Beach. Sun. Taking a Friday off. My best friend of, like, 15 years, ever since I asked her if I could copy her math homework in high school.

She has an awesome camera, that I now want. DS..something. Nikon. Last week I wanted Droid, but I'm over it. I totally want a cool camera again. (You know, the one that has potential for really awesome pictures, if you know how to use it, which I won't, but I want it anyway). So we took pictures. Frolicked in the water. Did it again Saturday.

I forgot to take a picture of our totally awesome matching tatoos. H + J, forever, with a Cricky and Igget. She's Cricky. I'm Igget. One is an iguana (an obsession of mine) and the other is a cricket (an obsession of her, if you will..)

I wanted an iguana, so bad, my whole life. And, once, in Petsmart, they had them, just beautiful, with these little tiny green claws, and perfect little pointy nails, and beady little eyes and snouts. I was in love.

My mom wasn't having any of it, none at all, so I was on the phone, just crying my eyes out about unfairness of life, when Heidi promised that she would get me an iguana, for my 20th birthday. (Which seemed like AGES away). 20 years came along, and we were rooming together at college, and didn't really have enough money to feed ourselves, let alone lizards, so, the pact was amended - I was really looking fwd to this, after all - 25th birthday. This is like, 11-12 years of patient waiting.

On my 25th birthday, I get a call.. Did I know iguana's grow to be, like a junior dinosaur size? No, sure didn't..
Did I know they tend to me mean for life? Kinda. I heard this, but figured mine would be different, even though a friend had one that bit him all the time.
Not so much said the shop guy. I guess, they get so many iguanas back, that he was reluctant to sell them, to anyone but the most avid lizard afficionados. Which, I am. But, I consider my specialty the little 10cm lizards. Anything over this size, I start to doubt my abilities. And the idea of watching TV next to a 100 lb lizard cooled me off significantly. So, may be when I'm 35. I'm hoping a friendly iguana strain is bred in time for my birthday.

She took my car and went to San Diego, and took pictures of things I haven't even seen, having lived in SoCal for 5 years now. Oops. Like the lizard sculpture above.

I wish my camera took pictures like this. Sigh.

But, mostly, we did a lot of beach strolling, in Laguna. Jesse and I 'found' this little beach when we were reception beach house hunting. We almost decided on this cliff house:

It was pretty cool. And, cheaper than a state beach affair. It's perched on this cool rock, and below it is the 'secret' little beach. Well, we thought it was secret, cause it looked that way in February. But, come March adn the sun, turns out a lot of people found their way to it, as well.

The water at this beach was super rough.

And, despite my best college efforts, Heidi, apparently STILL can't swim. I really, can't imagine. I tried so hard. I mean. She grew up in Philippines. It's, like, all island-y. Way to not plan for apocalypse. So, she's not actually happy in any of the photos I took, but I'm not picky about the subject's moods. Color photoshop work is all her.

Meanwhile, I tried my best, Victoria Secret Beach Shoot pose ..

I don't look nearly as playboy bunny-ish as I'd hoped. I also had to keep my bandaged, blender-accident-mutilated middle finger up and above the water, so that was part of the problem. I really hope she has a better one in the batch that she's saving and framing for a surprise birthday gift. Meanwhile, more lizards, or close up of the above lizards, in case you didn't consider them enough:

I miss her.. Stupid Chicago. Sigh. She named the Spring Break photo album on Facebook "Life's Repair". I hope she got well rested and recharged before going back to the cold, the ick, and the med school madness.

Nora, the Duct Tape Scarecrow Replacement

2010-04-08T15:38:00.000-07:00

Months of stalking have paid off, and I now have me a dress form. I was just about to try and wrap myself in duct tape again (it took months to work up the nerve), and now I can delay that indefinately.

Ta-Da!!

I mean, it doesn't have gargoyle feet. This was a little disappointing. But, it matches my measurements nicely (I'll have to pad the butt-ips area..) And, it was $30, which, to date, is the best deal. I considered driving 60 miles to get a questionable $40 off of Craigslist. Debbie's Dumpster were finally going to sell me theirs for $90. No, thanks.. This one is much better, even!

Jesse and I had frolicked a relaxed, unmapped trail of garage sales this weekend - i.e. - he drives towards the beach and I make him pull over at every green, pink, or yellow piece of paper tacked to a light post, and our favorite junk shops. In San Clemente, there's the Pac Rat, a little thrift shop ran by a husband and wife. They have really cool dresses and suits, the wife picks her stuff carefully, so no junk. I've gotten some shelves from them, and she once called me about some teacups she found, because she remembered I'm into that sort of thing. It's not the $3 price tags I am accustomed to, courtesy of G-Marts, but their stuff is nice, and the husband likes to make deals.

Once there was a pretty vintagy red motorcycle Jesse had to drag me off. I didn't wanna hear that it was too big for me. It was shiny, dammit. Anyway. Pac Rat, had not one, but 3 dress forms. They were using them as displays, until I undressed and inspected each one. There was a vintage Wolf one, cast iron base and everything, and a newer reproduction of same, without base though. I coulda probably negotiated Wolf for $80-ish, (he said $100) but I skipped home with the newer one, for $30.

Jesse spent larger part of the evening mutilating a lamp I was supposed to Craigslist (procrastination DOES pay off) and making a stand for Nora II. A couple of ugly "mallot + drill + handful of screws + lamp on a sidewalk outside" episodes later, he did so well, it doesn't even wobble.

One of these days I'll spray paint the cage and the stand black, and separate gargoyle feet may turn up at some point, you never know. I think I will also take a paint brush to her, she is clearly in need of some body art. I'm taking ideas.

FINALLY, I won't have to try on my hideous creations, and try to swim my way into and out of a half stitched top with 80 pins threatening my various body bits. I mean:

It's hard to look cool wearing raggedy bits of almost clothing. (I was cutting off and reattaching the sleeves and taking in sides of a sweater that I thought would be cute to buy in XL to wear "camping".) There are PINS in that there sleeve, people. And I always have to ask Jesse to leave what he's doing and capture the madness on film. No more.

Also, she models clothing, so I have FINALLY, put up some stuff on Ebay, from my "Not a Size 4 Anymore Collection". I had taken some pictures on the original Nora, let's revisit:

This, by the way, is Nora's most flattering angle. Ignore the crushed right boob. Even without scary boobs (but featuring my hand, since, Nora #1 was not a free standing creature), and with my snazzy carpet, a 70's special clearance rack my landlord is very fond of.

Vs-

I mean, night and day, right? I am glad I procrastinated (again, see, it really works) and didn't put up all the Ebay auctions. I'm certain Nora II is going to fetch at least .50c extra, you watch. The only trick is that, since Nora II is my size, my smaller clothing doesn't really fit (all skirts are unzipped), and Nora I was a collapsible deal (not on purpose, it just was messed up like that) so I could potentially stuff her into stuff a little easier. But once so stuffed, it wasn't very flattering (reference the crushed boobs) anyway.

As a matter of fact, anything worth picture taking that can be draped or hung, will now be featured on Nora II. Like, this serape blanket I got in NorCal few weeks back:

And this outfit I picked up last weekend, at the Boutique (Salvation Army - The Boutique). That's actually what it's called, and not a fancy decoy name I made up, like G-Mart for Goodwill. Hereafter, all Salvation Army stores = Boutique. You've been warned.

I continually see 27 year olds in SoCal that look much cooler than me, and I can't quite pin point why. Then I see pictures of stuff I pick out, and it becomes pretty clear. Jesse helped construct the first outfit, finding a long sleeved shirt while I fumbled with dress buckles in fitting room, because that's the kind of Boutique White Horse-d Knight he is. But, notice how the grandma dress on Nora instantly looks heaps more cool than the grandma dress hanging on a hanger off my track lighting. Right??

Sarah's Paintings

2010-04-06T14:32:00.000-07:00

I met Sarah on a ThumperTalk.com Girls Weekend party 3 years ago. She was my age, rode a bike by herself, just like me, [meaning, without a boyfriend/mechanic] and by the end of the weekend she invited me over to her house for next weekend, to ride.

I remember thinking how cool her house was, she had all these paintings, tapestries, and handmade things. It turned out we had everything in common. She paints with acrylics - so do I! She sews - so do I! She makes her own jewelry - I always want to! She cooks - I cook! She likes colored socks, sculpey clay, shiny things - the list never ends. By themselves, lots of these things are common, but she also rode a dirt bike.

Few years later, we both picked ourselves up a boyfriend/mechanic (ha!) off the internet, but we still ride together whenever possible. We spent the weekend at her house up in Palmdale, CA, where she rents a giant house with tons of wall space (for same amount Jesse and I rent a 2 bedroom, but I'm not bitter or anything.) I love that her walls are all hung with her paintings. (Kinda like my house, except, I have, like, 3 walls, all full.. but, still, not bitter or anything).

I've told her about Etsy, but she says she doesn't ever want to sell her paintings. She paints what makes her happy and gives a lot away as presents, or, in my case, when asked. :D So I ran around her house, taking pictures and putting in orders.

I am all types of behind on my bloggy, I was actually gonna post these last week, but I stuck my camera card into my makeup case, and since there's no reason for SD cards to be anywhere near eyeshadow, I had a hard time finding it until an occasion for bright green eye shadow came up.

She (like me!) likes awesome colors and awesome sunsets. We've sat at campfires, looking at sunsets, talking about how cool they'd look painted and hung on our walls.

A lot of the stuff is inspired by trips and travels and cool places. I like that it probably reminds her of trips she took, more than a photo album on a bookshelf. And it reminds me that it'd be cool to make some photo albums. If I am too keep all my trip pictures in Picasa, really, what's the point..

I liked the "little ball paintings" so much she gave me one.

Here's the one I got:

I like it in my living room, it goes nicely with the bright yellow wall, bright pink chairs, and green curtains.

There are also some abstract fun ones, on occasion featuring pieces of glass or other decorative stuff glued on.

Of course, dirtbikes must be involved.. This one was a litle risque, so it is currently housed in a closet, but it makes me giggle every time I see it.

And, one of my favorites, inspired by a trip to India and their art:

I think she should paint me one. I'd have to get rid of some furniture to make walls space, but Jesse's pretty used to moving stuff around when a Feng Shui mood hits me. (Read: when I unexpectedly drag home yet another 'piece')

I personally don't like Koi fish, they are like oversized gold fish, and not anywhere near as cool as sharks or squid, (or awesome Batwing Fish that grace a certain chick's forearm..) and nonethelss get a lot of exposure in art and, puzzling-ly, tattoos.. but the painted ones look cool.

Few years ago, I picked this one out of her closet:

When she gets tired of them, she stashes them away, (or if they feature naked body parts that we aren't sure are OK to display large scale over a dinner table). Sometimes, she repaints over them, or adds stuff to the existing painting. I acquired a giant elephant painting, from the pile of stuff to be painted over.

Tragically, as an elephant sized picture, there's only space in garage, but I am working on it. That and a giant old picture frame (which Jesse argued could NEVER fit in the truck, and had to be proven wrong) straight from Connecticut. She doesn't like the look of framed canvas, and I do. Especially with frames that spent some 50 years hanging out in an old Connecticut attick. Win!

Gym Win

2010-03-25T21:06:00.000-07:00

Well. The craigslisting didn't happen. There might even still be a broken shot glass in the garbage disposal. The Plan failed. But giraffy and I, against all odds and mutual whining made it to the gym. Go us!

Apparently, taking three weeks off wreaks havoc. It was ugly. I felt like all of a sudden the treadmill was 9000 feet above sea level. Giraffy was making "are we DONE yet" signs across treadmills. Still though. Woot.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

I Need To Suck Less (The Plan)

2010-03-25T15:20:00.000-07:00

The List comes to mind. (Which I have sucked at updating) Why am I not addressing items on there? Not only have I not refinished the Modern Danish Tables, but I haven't listed stuff on Craigslist to clear the garage enough so I can get access to the tables. Neither can Jesse get to our dirt bikes, so any kind of maintenance I need him to do before the weekend is out of question, because he doesn't really work under Hobbit conditions, and it's embrassing to strew all of our stuff across the alley for a day.

I haven't blogged either. It's not a very good documentary of projects or thrifting at all. Well, the projects have been at halt recently, so there's that. I may as well call it, "Stuff I Found a Year Or So Ago.."

My bedroom is a mess. I got back from a cruise. (!!!) and never unpacked. It's been two weeks. With my luck, there's an uneaten lunch somewhere in there. Or some stashed cakes (unlimited food buffet style is a terrible thing to do to a hungry Russian girl..)

I have a broken shot glass stuck in my garbage disposal yesterday night, so I simply declared kitchen off limits (till daylight) so dishes wouldn't have to be washed. Even though Jesse was all over it (headlamp and all). But when he does housework I feel like I ought be doing housework.. so I prevent HIM from doing any, either. It's an efficient household I 'run'. Or don't.

Luckily, the blender mechanism was functioning just fine, so I had some margaritas with the neighbors, and went to bed at 1am. On a Wednesday.

Few weeks ago, I got a cold, right before a cruise. I skipped gym and sulked. Then there was Cruise with Giraffy, and it was magical. The week after was "cruise recovery". Now it's just been plain old ugly laziness. This and a nasty American Idol habit I picked up. Which is exactly why I don't watch TV, it's like crack. Stupid, time swallowing, black hole chore postponing crack. But I let people at work babble at me about American Idol, so there I am, waiting for 9pm, cheering on Crystal and Siobhan. Like an AA veteran slipped up and carried away in a stream of whiskey.

In addition to this, we've eaten a lot more erratically (read: out) in the past 3 weeks. I've tried to reign it in this week, since I actually enjoy cooking. I don't know what was up with March. I really need a redeeming April. I don't have a chaotic job, my only complaint is getting off at 6. I don't have children. I don't let wild boar stampedes run through my bedroom.

I think I need, in addition to THE LIST, a PLAN. And then I need to adhere to it, better than I pay attention to the LIST.

The PLAN (for Today)
I WILL:

- run 2 miles after work
(must be done. brownies were had. yesterday's dinner was bread+olive oil, and
margaritas, prosciutto wrapped in mozzarella cheese)

- list on Craigslist:
the coffee table
the TV stand
the MX Hauler. (I really don't want to part, but I have 2 trailers, and trucklet (Rav4) does not like to have 300lbs suspended 20" away from bumper on its sheet metal frame. SIGH)

-the garbage disposal. I either need to address the kitchen or not meddle in Jesse's way when he does. I mean, seriously. My grandmother would 'fall through the floor from embarassment".

Oh, and - NO TV. Background music that is conducive to Craigslisting and clearing out glass shards out of a garbage disposal.

I'll stop there, since I haven't been at all efficient lately. Baby steps. BABY steps.

I'm a Sugar Doll!!

2010-03-10T15:38:00.000-08:00

Stacy at Moderate Means probably heard about the miserable, self pitying wreck of a week I am having, and to cheer me up before I dissolved in a puddle of snot, she gave me an award!

I do love me some awards. This one entails telling people 10 things they probably didn’t know about you. I’m not clear if they have to be cool things, but since Stacy mentioned something about 4th grade, blue socks, and orange jelly shoes, I am guessing not so much. Tehee.

It’s hard, cause I babble a lot about myself, and a decent internet search will probably turn up everything you need to know to impersonate me on a weekly phonecall to my mom.

But, here goes:

1. I used to read everything. Books, candy wrappers, anything. If I didn’t have something to read, I was running around in a frenzy till I found something, like my grandma’s passport on trips, or the newspaper that merchandize was wrapped with. It was a little disturbing, but convenient at the same time. It also came in handy for being the biggest teacher’s pet of all time. Seriously, any class picture – I’m easy to find.

2. I spent a lot of village ‘spare time’ by climbing up and copying the cross stitch patterns of the wall hangings. Talk about “playing quietly” by myself. I also cut out my dolls from sticks (Russian kids can play with knives) and painted them with my mom’s nail polish. Then I got in trouble for missing knives and nail polish.
3. I grew up 300km away from Chernobyl.

4. I learned conversational English by watching Full House with captions on, and Blossom, but when that girl Six talked, I couldn’t understand anything. For the longest time I was so used to captions, I couldn’t watch TV without them.

5. Jesse and I met on an internet message board, and on our first date, he told me I should be his girlfriend . On our second date I drove to see him in NorCal, and almost got cold feet last few miles in, slowed to 55mph behind a truck and considered turning around. When I finally got there, he took me to see the “house he grew up in”; which was located in some dark long forgotten orchard in NorCal. I had my fingers on my pepper spray and had dialed a 9 and a 1, and asked him to turn around and go back towards the city… Luckily he did, so nobody got Maced.

6. I don’t like dogs. I just don’t. I think they’re smelly, and ungraceful, and generally far too perky for my tastes. I think Korea’s onto something.. [img]http://kolobok.us/smiles/standart/no2.gif[/img]

7. I once tried to catch a rattle snake for a “pet”. I was well in my twenties, and two step children were talking me out of it. I was going to ‘capture’ it into an empty apple juice jug. When it went into its hole, I poured some water in to get it to come out. It went poorly. Rattle snakes can jump, near vertically apparently.

8. I once tried to catch a porcupine for a “pet. It didn’t go well either.

9. I have no pets, and I routinely kill all my plants and flowers. Either through neglect, or through over zealous water/prune/gardening. Sometimes, they just die just to stick it to me, I think. I go through states where I get a whole bunch, really get into it, but then they all die and piss me off. Sigh.

10. I want to have lots of children. Like, at least 3. But, may be 4 or 5. Then I think about putting all of them through college, and it freaks me out. As does pregnancy, and that whole birthing nonsense, which I really want no part of the conventional, “baby makes its way” way. And, what if they grow up to be snotty? Like, all 5 of them?! I’d really like to do it in sets of triplets and twins, to minimize the pregnancy deal. I compulsively gather and collect various miscellaneous info about pregnancies, to mentally file away if needed. BTW, Thanks for that PUPPS, reference, Stacy! Talk about having preemptive nightmares. Then I think about them and freak myself even further out.

There. That was good to get off my chest. Thank you Stacy! This definitely makes up for the PUPPS Google image search I have felt had been entirely your fault. *snicker*

In turn, I would like to pass this award onto giraffy at 365 Days of Awesome. It’s an award, so she’ll be pleased, and possibly bake me some more cookies, and what an awesome way to be non chalantly nosy!

Week 9-10 No Poo Hair Horrors

2010-03-10T11:59:00.000-08:00

It's week 10 currently, I think. I forgot to post this last week. Or may be I was waiting to attach some pictures, but they're pretty inconsistent. Hm. I forget where I'm at in this saga. Anyway, the short of it is, for SOME reason, if I comb the soap through my hair, it is awesome. If I do not, or do not do it diligently enough, it's nice on top, but proceeds to separate into strands, and generally behaves very candle like.

I re-dyed it, for the first time in forever, and used a bit of my fancy conditioner. It behaved beautifully for the photo shoot last weekend. I washed it again Sunday, no comb, and it came up clumpy and waxy. Bah. I rewashed Monday water only, with a little soap on the lengths, where the waxy lives, combed through, and it became beautiful again. I can't quite understand why me washing the lengths thoroughly is not the same as combing. But, this last time I noticed some pink wax (red hair dye) on the comb. So, my theory is that the soap loosens and the combing washes wax away in the shower, and it's not magic like I previously thought. It stays nice and clean up on top all the time, so I really don't have to wash it more than twice a week. This is redeeming. Someday, I can probably move to once every 5 days.

I am trying to figure out if this has to do with hard water at all. I read somewhere that dissolving baking soda in boiled water worked for the hard water no poo experimenting. I'm not using baking soda, because in small quantity it didn't do much for me, and in larger quantities, it dried my hair out. It also stripped my red dye out pretty fast. So, I'm on natural soap (I call it a shampoo bar). I wonder if somehow lathering up the soap in boiled water and then transferring to my head would help.

Last week, I had run out of soap (tragedy), so Jesse ran to CVS and got us a Dr Bronner's Lavender bar. I heard it mentioned on my favorite message board, so I was excited. Subsequently, I saw them at Mother's, at a lower price, and a bigger variety (rose!!). They also have liquid stuff, if I was interested in paying $9. They had a whole aisle of things that appealed to me, actualy. SIGH.

Anyway, it's a little relief that at least I know how to get it to behave if I need to. I'm hoping it goes away. I might, just MIGHT, take all types of time boiling mad amounts of water, and using only IT to wash the hair. I mean, it's not a method I could sustain long term. Grasping at straws, really. But now that I know if I diligently comb it, it's fine, I'm not as pissy. It does not need conditioner, oddly. It's actually really nice, and I'm feeling good about using paper wrapped soap, and no plastic bottles. I have transferred the remaining shampoos and conditioners into the guest bathroom, and since Jesse is doing this with me, we only need the one bar between us.

UPDATE: (This is the week 10 part of the post) Apparenty, wet combing doesn't always work. It's out to get me. I had wash/combed it last week, before the NorCal trip, went ot bed thinking it'll be magical, and it was waxy and gross for my liking all the next day. UGH. This is AFTER the combing. Not super waxy, like I've seen it, but about a 4 on the gross chart. Anyway, so after my stepmom and my sisters all got to touch it and go, "OMG, how WEIRD".. I washed it again Saturday, Bronner's Bar, nothing else, as usual, and loosely finger combed the soap through, cause I wasn't in the mood for its shenanigans, and wasn't in the mood to comb and cuddle it. Anyway, no combing at all, and I woke up Sunday to nice and clean unwaxy hair. I don't know what's happening. But it is now Wednesday, I last washed it the Saturday, and it's just fine. I mean, it's due for a wash, but it's not waxy, it's not greasy, it's just like normal hair. So, I guess, 'sort of Yay'?

С 8-ым Марта!!!

2010-03-09T15:02:00.000-08:00

An International (and especially Russian) women's day! (Although I'm a day late)

Also knows as the Housewife's Revolution Against Kitchen Slavery . If you're Russian, or from the former Soviet Union, or, more importantly, your girl is, and you didn't make with some flowers yesterday, you're in trouble as you ought be. It's like a Valentine's Day, although now that USSR adopted western holidays, we get both. Ha.

I'm a sick, sick duck this week (right before I'm cruise bound with giraffy this Friday. Frown), so, yesterday, I got homemade chicken soup with dumplings (from a boy who used to eat out ever.single.meal before I met him), unquestionable control of the remote, a jar of raw honey to eat with a spoon (I heard it's good for you, and I'm getting better before Friday, dammit) and a a couch 'lair' to greet me after work.

Although, flowers aren't limited to romantic relationships. My dad bought me some shoes, my step dad called, and Jesse and I called my mom and grandma. I also ordered some Edible Arrangment flowers for my grandma, but they have so far failed to deliver, so somebody in Chicago is about to get a fire lit under their ass. I am, after all, grumpy and sick.

Beads, Frames, and Saris

2010-03-04T17:55:00.000-08:00

It’s a good day when I can run amok at an estate sale before work. It’s even a better day when its one of those family run sales, as opposed to the ones run by people who have consignment/antique galleries on the side. You know, the ones where they label every tea mug with a detailed description and proceed to charge you more than that mugs cost originally, what with inflation and all.

This one was awesome. In the driveway, by 4-5 birdcages I picked up a picture frame, whipped out my measuring tape, and it turned out to be the much sought after (standard canvas size) 18x24. $3. Score. The guy smoking in the garage, pointed to a pile of picture frames in the back of the garage, and a reptile cage he was going to make a really good deal on. Apparently, they hadn’t unpacked all the boxes yet, and he was ready for the day to be over.

I briefly got stuck on some colored glass shot glasses, like the ones I want at Treasure Cove, but not quite as nice, and fewer in number. Still, I grabbed a set of four and carried them around until I saw a room of beads.

That was the attraction, in the first place – throw ‘sewing’ anywhere in the ad, and I’ll show up. Jesse found it in the Pennysaver and used it as bait to get out of bed early (I put up a good fight every morning) I like to look for old patterns and fabrics I can try out my atrocities on. This place had a lot of yarn craft stuff, needlepoint, and cross stitch. They had marked 50c price in SHARPIE right on needlepoint stuff!! Nooo! And, there was the room of beads, that was full of boxes of beads, glitter, sequins, sparklies, and crystals. I was pretty happy in there, and ended up walking away with a little box full of seeds beads, and sead bead handmade jewelry.

There was a big box of ribbons, the fancy kind you wrap gifts and stuff with, but $40 for a box was over my total allowable budget. I side eyed Jess for a second, to register my disappointment before I moved on.

It was pretty uneventful from there and through the kitchen, where I noticed 3 or 4 more sets of colored glass shot glasses or little glasses and just lost interest. Too much. Passing through the foyer, there was a $ 10 Mickey Mouse figurine on a mantle. To Jesse’s dismay, the figurine is now mine.

I don’t really like Disney stuff, except Tinkerbell and Piglet, and I really don’t like figurines of any sort, the dust collecting uselessness that they are. Umm. But it was cute? I mean, she’s wearing a little veil!! And, she can be a cake topper. Probably wouldn’t balance on a croquembouche doughnut pyramid I’m planning, so I’ll probably throw it up on Ebay after I’m done admiring it on a bookshelf in a couple weeks.

In one of the closets I found lots of $10 saris, $1 sari blouses, and patterns for a sari blouse, as well as embroidered silk fabric of all kinds. Jesse redirected me, pointing out that it would be difficult to do stuff with a grid like embroidery pattern, which I think, was his way of saying I’m not really good enough to line up a row of sunflowers in a straight line on a skirt.

I got fixated on a ‘giant flower’ wrap skirt, and couple $1 silk shirts. The shirts didn’t fit me, but I only let go of them when I found a sari that did please me, and had an irregular flower pattern. Ha. I doubt I can actually wrap it around myself properly, without flashing people, so I'll probably use it as fabric for an outfit. A two piece skirt and top? It'll be hot.

Also added to my ‘pile’ was a pair of hair chopsticks (the 'big flower' is of the big flower skirt).

There was a lady complaining that all the advertised “Indian” stuff was really pretty new, and from Arizona. (I wonder if by Indian they mean the sari stuff, but I didn't have the heart to say it) Having said that, she did hang on to a weird looking little dream catcher holding teddy bear with a mohawk on a wooden perch. I told her it was ugly, and it cemented her resolve to get it. She was considering whether she’ll pay the $5 or bring it down. It should have been free, the atrocity.

She was really sweet, and we talked for a while about vintage table linens as I was eyeballing a tablecloth. [Jesse alleges] it fits none of the tables in our house, but the teddy bear lady and I decided it’s beautiful, so I ended up dragging it home. It was unpriced and I ended up getting it for less than a dollar, so..

Apparently the teddy bear lady has a resale shop, and more or less does this for a living, and I was a little jealous. Here, I had an office to get to, and she was going to peruse ugly teddy bears all day long. Another chatty shopper pointed out some wool jackets that would probably fit me in the closet. Bright red, even! I do love when it becomes a team effort. And this wedding dress from the 60’s?

Ok, I admit, it doesn't look like much in the picture, but it's almost shiny in person. Silk and lace?? I was born in the wrong time period. I would totally give up my Blackberry and Ipod if I could play in silk and lace all day long. Well, may be not the Ipod.

There was also, to match my wedding figurine, a brand new David’s Bridal wedding gown. These are usually pretty safe, since it’s hard to beat the one I already have. But, it was pretty, fluffy, with tags, and something like $150. I had seen it at DB, so it’s pretty current, even.

On the way out the door, I took a new approach to haggling – instead of going per item, I asked that I walk out of there for $20. This was the amount of money we withdrew from the ATM this morning, and save a couple of rogue nickels, it’s all I had to work with. Jesse argued that I only need like, $3, or $10 max, so I was already over the limit. (It’s not everyday you come across veiled Minnie mice). There was a lot of commotion over a missing Kitchen Aid (who has the balls to stroll out with that in their armpit?) so, my $20 bid on a pile of stuff was accepted happily, I think they were just happy to see people leave in orderly fashion.

I typed this in the morning, but during lunch we went to a Newport Harbor sale, as well. I didn't even take any pictures. There's a bronze bust of Caesar, for $3000, and a painting for $7000. That sale must be for a different class of shoppers. Sigh.

Purses, Beads, Silk Scarves and Dress Form FAIL

2010-03-03T10:07:00.000-08:00

I am really trying to walk out of the thrift shops empty handed. I really am. I don't know how this stuff happens. Every time I vow to make it a "viewing excursion only", and come home with:

The kids found it for me, in a San Francisco G-Mart, and it's adorable.

G-Mart -> Goodwill = Tarje -> Target. The number of times I utter Goodwill references in public called for a fancy nickname. Mostly for Jesse's gentle nature. He walked into this relationship straight from Macy's $120 shirts. I gently eased him into Nordstrom Rack, and now I shamelessly bring home stuff I found in an alley with a completely straight face. I often wonder if it offends his gentle sensibilities when he says he needs new slacks, and I offer the address of 3-4 ~~thrift shops~~ G-Marts that I think are *perfect* for finding slacks. I think he's adapted, because he was a little disappointed his $5 slacks for engagement pictures did not have the blue 50% off tag.

But, back to the shiny purse - it's really inconsiderate of the kids to bring me shiny stuff to consider they know I have an unhealthy texure/color fixation. The number of times I actually leave house with a tiny purse? Close to none. Oh, let's not make it the blog of lies. None, actually. It's a Waters and Davis, made in US, coin purse, there are a few of them on the internets. I think mine is from the 50's? I like to guess a history of any dumpstered object. I like to imagine the Russian Tsars having a lot to do with it. (Not the 50's purse, clearly, but most anything else)

I might have mention Debbie's ~~Attic~~ Dumpster, our favorite junk shop in Pacifica, CA, has a dress form I have wanted since the summer. The owner insists she's going to dress her up, but it's never happened. Mysteriously, though, she won't sell it. Until this weekend anyway. I asked [for the 20th time] and she came back with a "today only' offer of 'non negotiable' $95 dollars. With a promise to change her mind tomorrow. I mean. It's perfect because it has, within half and inch all MY measurements. But, it's wobbly, it's got a questionable for pinning styrofoam layer (I think it's a mannequin more than a seamsress tool), and it's got holes in the covering. I looked at my stepmom, and she whispered that $45 would be her ceiling on said form.. Did I mention that you have to climb over a china shelf, a couple trunk full of stuff, and hop over a bedframe, just to view this form? I just might have to let that dream go. Although my parents said they'd come when the owner's husband is in, who is more reasonable, and interested in moving stuff out.

I did find this silk scarf for $3, that I envision having multiple uses (I like to pretend that I can wear tube tops made out of a silk scarf tied around myself in the summer. The reality of wearing such an outfit is probably very remote). And a couple of vintage sewing patterns for 10c each.

They aren't as cool as McCalls 9777, (a big fluffy 50's dress) that I scored here (also 10c) in the summer, but I hope to get a run at them all the same. I have accumulated a nice stash of random fabrics from JoAnn's 50% off clearance isle and garage sales, that I can take on a 'test' project pretty inexpensively.

Also seen, but not gotten was a fox, or an otter of some sort, no longer alive, and shoulder ready. I'm not sure how I feel about vintage dead animals.

In a shop down the street, we found a giant - me sized bird cage. It was a little disturbing, the interest Jesse showed in it. Although, I guess with enough pillows and a proper view it could make for a nice reading spot.

The same shop had a $3 Russian teaspoon, hallmarked "МНЦ", a little rooster, and a stamped price of 1 rouble, 20 kopeiks.

I researched it a little, and the Russian letters than look a little like "MHU" stand for an alloy of copper, nickel, and zinc, that was often silver or gold plated. Also known as "German silver" or "white copper". Mine might be silver plated, but I can't tell. I don't know what time it's from, but I could probably figure it out if I researched the price. Sometime during the Soviet regime. The pattern is just like silverware we had in Ukraine when I was little. I don't know why, but it's cool to find stuff like that in a small antique shop in a small town in Northern California.

Total dumpstering spendage: $8.50. Not bad for weekends' worth of entertainment. It SHOULD have been $28.50, because I was eyeballing this ADORABLE set of 10 shot glasses, all different colors, with an etched design, at a nearby Treasure Cove (also antique shop in down the street) but I walked away. We don't have a china cabinet, and unless I get Jesse to build me a display rack, like he did for the teacups, it would be a shame to have them hidden somewhere. I see the next home project looming...

And, keeping up with the Purses I Kind Of Have No Use For theme, I had last week, at G-Mart by the house, on TWO different days, found:

AND

I have mentioned a bead obsession, right? This last one is suffering from some broken threads and mising beads, but nothing I can't fix. Luckily, I happen to have a ton of beads, and finally, FINALLY, they will come in handy. I knew it. I don't keep useless stuff. It's all very useful. Eventually.

The Seashell was $1.99 and Flowers was unmarked, and ended up $6.99. (After I shamelessly haggled and partook in #8 of top 10 sucky things about thrift shops. Thanks for the link and giggles, Thrift Store Mama) I was totally "that guy". I mean, it's Goodwill. You got it for free. It's raining beads all over the floor and counter. Be reasonable. $6.99 was way too much, especially for something dainty that does not fit my giant tea thermos, camera, phone, and 5lbs of random odds and ends, but I was a little in love already and it was too late.

Suck It, Fat.

2010-03-01T19:18:00.000-08:00

I really didn't want to go to gym today. Not even a bit. Not even after I had a gorgonzola salad for lunch (with dressing). Or after the chipotle carnitas bowl for dinner.

We got in after midnight from the 7 hour Norcal-Socal drive, and went to work. I just want a nap, and I get off work at 6.

But I buckled up, braced myself (and Jesse) and walked in, fully prepared to take off someone's head if they asked me for my ID. (Why can't they print it on the pass??)

Success! And, we're home by 7ish. Pleased.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

We're engaged!

2010-02-28T00:19:00.000-08:00

Well, it's kinda old news. We've been knee deep in wedding planning, which consists mostly of trying on dresses in thrift shops. But, the last couple weekends we talked to a priest, went to a church, and looked around town for a coastal strip to have our 'party' at. The 'beach reception disaster' will be discussed separately. I think I have it typed up, but it's a little angry sounding, and probably needs an edit for profanity before going public. Ha.

Also, I decided that instead of calling and emailing people, I will actually send out invitations. Mostly because I thought it'd be fun to glue gun tons of glitter to cardstock and write things I consider to be witty. I'm thinking custom tailored invites, talking about whether or not to bring your children, your liquior limit, topics one is not allowed to discuss at the table, and people one is not to pursue mingling with. All this in glitter pens, and I'm thinking of recruiting underage help with cutting out appliques and various other merry nonsense.

As a crowning jewel to these invites, I thought we'd take some pictures (because who doesn't want to see more of us?) and make these picture invites.
I asked my dad and stepmom to take some pictures of us in some pretty spot in Norcal, where we headed this weekend.

It must be said, that the main motivator for these pictures is a dress I got at Mainplace Christian Thrift. It is a David's Bridal awesome chocolate brown bridesmaid gown. Why I was trying on bridesmaids gowns is not really clear, they must have had a poor wedding dress selection. Anyway, this dress was $9. How could you not? It has pick ups, and everything.

Jesse offered that it is crazy to buy bridesmaids gowns, and I countered that he ought find a place to take me in one. Well, since he has so far failed to find me a ball invitation, I came up with the brilliant plan to use to for our "engagement/invitation" photos. And, since it was $9, I can take it to the beach and not have a heart attack if it gets wet or muddy. Next up, Jesse was sent out to find an equally brilliant, but disposable if need be pair of slacks and a shirt. I voted pink, citrus green, or lavender, and he got an off white that he claims is green. He's adventurous like that. Ha.

Crocs, check. Rubber ducky under-layer, check. Into the fog we go.

There's a really pretty beach in Pacifica, 10 minutes down the coast from my dad's house.

Few minutes after we got there, we got shooed away most ungracefully by the park rangers. Tsunami warning all across Pacific. All beaches closed. Pack up your crocs and keep moving.

We got some pictures though. I picked this weekend, even though there was a rain forecast. I like the rain and overcast days, and I think they're especially neat along the beaches. Water meets water kind of thing. Unfortunately, earlier today an 8.8 eathquake struck in Chile, hence the tsunami warning. The seas were very rough and angry looking, but also very beautiful.

We headed up to Half Moon Bay, figuring that higher cliff grounds were probably safe.

Some cropping might be required to get rid of the beer bottle in the corner. Clearly, somebody else also thought this was an awesome party spot. By the way, it is supposed to be haunted by the Blue Lady of Moss Beach Distillery, whose parking lot we invaded for these photos.

Also present were my sisters, both of which were a little terrified that somebody they know might see them, but secretly had fun anyway.

On the way back to the car, we found this Alice in Wonderland type clearing. It was practically waiting to get frolicked in, even if the children told me the grass was a good indicator of both bugs AND snakes. Later, we decided the weather was far too crappy for snakes to come out, so that was nice.

The day really wouldn't be complete without finding a tree to climb on, and there it was, conventiently fallen, to avoid any photo inappropriate dress tree scaling. Practically waiting to be climbed.

The whole time, the rain would pick up on and off softly. It could have also been the drops from trees when the breeze came through. Or possibly squirrel pee? If the latter, its probably good for the hair.

My dad and my stepmom did such an awesome job, Jesse and I were really excited when we came home and looked through the (over 300) pictures, and we had a lot of fun. I was going to spend the rest of the day in my awesome dress, but the good news is, since we got kicked off the beach early and proper, it didn't get very muddy or wet. (If you don't count the rain/squirrel pee). It's been at least $9 worth of fun, but it's likely to make other appearances.

Speaking of crocs, my stepmom thought we should mail this to their markting department and see if they can work with it:

Anyway, don't ever let your boyfriend tell you don't n e e d a birdesmaids/prom gown.

The W-party is scheduled for either May 21st, Septemer 10th, or October 15th. We're narrowing it down, and it's tied with money, my best friend's school schedule and tide times. (Not because we're superstitious, but because we have a semi-concocted plan for a beach reception, and the proposed location on the beach might not be existent if the tides are not taken into account) May 21 was my first pick, but that's coming right up, isn't it..

In a completely unrelated story:

It is full moon tonight. Does it make you sleep funny? Is it true that staring at it makes you act/think funny?

No Poo Hair Madness, Week 8. B+

2010-02-22T11:26:00.000-08:00

Last week was full of puppies, rainbows, kisses and stickers, as far as the hair went. I washed it the one time Sunday, combed the Lavender Bar through it, and combed it when it was damp. Apparently, the combing was a revolutionary event in this saga. The grey crap disappeared somewhere, and my hair was soft, wonderful, and ready for a Lifetime channel special.

It kept it up pretty well, and the top got faintly greasy by Wednesday night, when I took this picture, all delirious with non waxy joy:

I even had a nice little ponytail going, it wasn't all stiff, clumpy, and tragic looking:

All this reminds me of a Russian saying - How do you make someone feel good? You make them feel really bad for a while, and then stop.

I washed it Thursday, again, with the Camomile Lavender Bar, and it was magical, and I washed it Sunday. This time I didn’t comb the suds through the hair length, because I heard it’s not good to comb wet hair, it’s brittle at its soggy stage, and, infinitely more important, I’m lazy, and I will not have myself in a situation where I must comb stuff through my hair diligently. If I had that kind of patience and determination, I would be curling iron-ing myself into a Beyonce look alike every morning. If the No Poo thing meant I'd have to wet comb my hair, I might have to jump ship.

It’s OK. There’s not a whole lot of grey crap in it, but it’s not quite as shiny and lively as it was last week. It just sort of hangs there. But, wax free, so I ain’t complaining. It's just nothing to write songs or make glittery stickers about. I’m thinking I can now introduce the vinegar rinse back into the equation.

I wonder, though, if the combing suds through is what got rid of the waxy crap, and now it is slowly accumulating back? I will have a fit.

Meanwhile, I think I should run and get a haircut while it’s behaving. I have delayed the cutting and the hair coloring until I came up with some sort of consistent routine, and a consistent, ‘non homeless’ look.

I also have my reservations about showing up to my hair guy, with a bar of soap, and telling him what’s up. It’s a fancy Newport Beach place, where they wade knee deep in Kerasta.. that expensive, nice smelling fancy crap I can’t quite spell. Among others.

It was completely out of question the 5-7 weeks my hair was covered in Hair Wax Play Doh, but now, I almost feel like I can confidently thrust the Lavender bar at him, and say, “No, no,.. no Aveda for me, and nothing too sudsy. I really want you to rub this here bar all over my head, and skip the conditioner. If you *really* want to, I got some vinegar water in this here decoy Sprite bottle. Don’t worry, the smell will go away. ”

I am guessing he’ll schedule all my subsequent appointments in very low traffic hours.

Meanwhile, I got a comment from Queen of 50c, an awesome thrifting blog I found while link surfing, And, not only do we share the same garage sale jurisdiction, we are both doing it shampoo-less, and her hair has yet to fall out. Every little encourgement matters.